+1

It happens because parents feel once notice is given that their nanny isn't loving, enjoying, and cherishing their job. They feel betrayed especially if nanny is moving on to another family. You thought she loved her job and your children and if she wants to leave that must not be the case. Then MB get bitter and decide they don't want someone to continue caring for their children if they don't want to. That is why after 20 years of nannying/preschool teaching I always have a job lined up and give two to three weeks notice. It happens to great, consistent, loving nannies after years of care, it's the truth MB's!

At one point I worked with a family for four years. I decided I should be better compensated based on my abilities. I lined up two PT jobs that were going to DOUBLE my total earnings, for the same number of hours. I knew that would be a stretch for them to get their heads around. It didn't matter that they could magically afford just everything else money could buy.

Well, when I gave my notice, the M had a royal meltdown. I was expected to stay put until our little princess went off to college. Sure, we're friends now, and the M still asks me, "how much did you earn after you left us?" She then says, "we could have never afforded that". Ok, except apparently they were socking it all away so they could afford one of the biggest houses you ever saw. Ok, no horse farm, but you get the picture.

Everyone has their priorities. Most people don't get everything they want, but usually do get, whatever it is, they want most. For some of you, it's the house. For others, it's the best possible education for their child, that starts at birth.

"Let's assume that because the MB takes it personally that the nanny is quitting and then vindictively fires the nanny. What does she do for childcare until she finds a new nanny (unless she thinks the nanny is not trustworthy/not good anyway, in which case knowing the nanny is checked out makes her nervous about the nanny not paying attention to the kids in the notice period). I just think this can't possibly happen all that often for this reason because most parents need as long as they can get to find new childcare. It's HARD to find someone you think is reliable and trustworthy. Most parents would prefer to leave their kids with someone they may have a personal disagreement with but who they know will take care of the kids over a stranger ... "

I am another "this makes no sense" poster. agree with the above. HOWEVER, although I cannot imagine firing our nanny earlier since I'd want the max time possible to line up a replacement, if our nanny gave notice w/o having let me know she was not happy w/ work conditions, pay, whatever - and was giving me no shot at "fixing" the issue, then yeah, I'm going to be ticked. I think that is natural though especially considering how critically vital communication is to the nanny relationship and the desire of most MBs to hang onto a nanny they are pretty happy w/ for as long as they can.

MB deniel is a common condition here.

You hit the nail on the head.

NP here and I have to say I agree. This happens all the time, and is a nanny's biggest fear come time to give notice. You guys saying it doesn't happen often or that its because of the nanny are in denial. People get emotional when their nanny quits and often take it personally. When your ego is bruised of course you become paranoid that the person you thought was loving and attentive might not be so loving and attentive (since she is willing to quit). What I would say happens almost every time without fail is that a parent requires as much notice as possible. Nanny gives ample notice, parent is pissed but begins the search for a new nanny. They find someone who wants to start immediately, they then fire nanny before the notice period is up. A nanny is lucky to get 2 weeks notice.

I am sure that happens once in a while. I just can't imagine that it happens as often as PPs make it sound. Now I can believe, as other PPs have explained, that if the nanny has been doing a mediocre job because she has been checked out for a while and MB is also unhappy or also already looking for other care, then at that point the MB feels like scrambling for childcare is a better/safer option than a clearly unfocused nanny. But if an otherwise terrific nanny gives her notice? Sure a couple of vindictive MBs will fire on the spot but I really can't imagine it happens as often as PPs try to make it sound.

And to put this in perspective, when our last nanny gave her notice to leave for a job with a daycare five minutes away from her home (we were an hour commute for her each way), we were incredibly grateful that she was thoughtful enough to offer to stay a couple of weeks until we found a replacement. We had already had a couple of conversations about how the commute was tough on her (and she had begun to come in late frequently, which she recognized was a problem) and we were not only happy she had found a better situation for herself but grateful that she gave us enough notice to allow us to do the same for ourselves. When we found a new nanny we let her know and then we picked a mutually agreeable date for our old nanny's last day and our new nanny's first day. I think it happens like this more often than not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would an MB fire a nanny who is quitting anyway (unless for some reason you don't trust her). Doesn't she need to use her notice period to find other care? Don't the parents still have jobs to go to?


I wondered about this too. If a productive employee resigns, I try to keep them as long as possible.

My guess is that this happens in situations where the employer was already unhappy with the nanny's performance but didn't want to spend the effort to replace her. Once she quits and the employer needs to get a new nanny anyway, the employer doesn't see any reason to keep putting up with whatever she is unhappy about from the nanny.

Poor performing employees are always the ones who think they are doing a perfect job. I'm sure the nanny leaving thinks she did a great job and the employer is only letting her go because she's mad but more is going on.

I agree with this.

Also, this kind of thing doesn't just happen in the nanny world. It happens all the time in many industries.

I believe that it happens more commonly with nannies than in other positions because the MB/nanny relationship is much more personal than the regular employer/employee relationship. MBs often take it personally when a nanny decides to leave and often have feelings of resentment. Also, even if it did happen just as commonly in other industries, references are more important in the nanny world than in many other job positions. Parents need to be able to trust a nanny with their children so they want that nanny to have positive references.

PP - this is the explanation that makes no sense. Let's assume that because the MB takes it personally that the nanny is quitting and then vindictively fires the nanny. What does she do for childcare until she finds a new nanny (unless she thinks the nanny is not trustworthy/not good anyway, in which case knowing the nanny is checked out makes her nervous about the nanny not paying attention to the kids in the notice period). I just think this can't possibly happen all that often for this reason because most parents need as long as they can get to find new childcare. It's HARD to find someone you think is reliable and trustworthy. Most parents would prefer to leave their kids with someone they may have a personal disagreement with but who they know will take care of the kids over a stranger ...

This happens all the time, just look at all of the posts on this forum that pertain to this topic. Most families have family/friends who they can pawn the children off on for a few days/weeks if they need to.

Anonymous wrote:Agreed parents should have back up care in place even on short notice, but even then, the nanny search can take a while and most parents can't rely on their back up care indefinitely. I believe this happens but I am genuinely confused as to why (again, unless there is a reason not to trust the nanny in the interim). The way this story is posted on this board, it sounds like it basically happens every time a nanny gives notice but it really makes no sense.

Not everything people do makes sense. A parent might be upset and tell the nanny to not show up again because of her emotions, but regret being so impulsive about it a day or 2 later when she realizes it would have been better to keep the nanny on until a replacement had been found. Usually once you have told the nanny to now show up anymore, it is hard to call her back up and say "sorry, I made a mistake" and ask her to come back for the last few weeks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would an MB fire a nanny who is quitting anyway (unless for some reason you don't trust her). Doesn't she need to use her notice period to find other care? Don't the parents still have jobs to go to?


I wondered about this too. If a productive employee resigns, I try to keep them as long as possible.

My guess is that this happens in situations where the employer was already unhappy with the nanny's performance but didn't want to spend the effort to replace her. Once she quits and the employer needs to get a new nanny anyway, the employer doesn't see any reason to keep putting up with whatever she is unhappy about from the nanny.

Poor performing employees are always the ones who think they are doing a perfect job. I'm sure the nanny leaving thinks she did a great job and the employer is only letting her go because she's mad but more is going on.

I agree with this.

Also, this kind of thing doesn't just happen in the nanny world. It happens all the time in many industries.

I believe that it happens more commonly with nannies than in other positions because the MB/nanny relationship is much more personal than the regular employer/employee relationship. MBs often take it personally when a nanny decides to leave and often have feelings of resentment. Also, even if it did happen just as commonly in other industries, references are more important in the nanny world than in many other job positions. Parents need to be able to trust a nanny with their children so they want that nanny to have positive references.

PP - this is the explanation that makes no sense. Let's assume that because the MB takes it personally that the nanny is quitting and then vindictively fires the nanny. What does she do for childcare until she finds a new nanny (unless she thinks the nanny is not trustworthy/not good anyway, in which case knowing the nanny is checked out makes her nervous about the nanny not paying attention to the kids in the notice period). I just think this can't possibly happen all that often for this reason because most parents need as long as they can get to find new childcare. It's HARD to find someone you think is reliable and trustworthy. Most parents would prefer to leave their kids with someone they may have a personal disagreement with but who they know will take care of the kids over a stranger ...

Unfortunately, a certain MB doesn't get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Why would an MB fire a nanny who is quitting anyway (unless for some reason you don't trust her). Doesn't she need to use her notice period to find other care? Don't the parents still have jobs to go to?


I wondered about this too. If a productive employee resigns, I try to keep them as long as possible.

My guess is that this happens in situations where the employer was already unhappy with the nanny's performance but didn't want to spend the effort to replace her. Once she quits and the employer needs to get a new nanny anyway, the employer doesn't see any reason to keep putting up with whatever she is unhappy about from the nanny.

Poor performing employees are always the ones who think they are doing a perfect job. I'm sure the nanny leaving thinks she did a great job and the employer is only letting her go because she's mad but more is going on.

I agree with this.

Also, this kind of thing doesn't just happen in the nanny world. It happens all the time in many industries.

I believe that it happens more commonly with nannies than in other positions because the MB/nanny relationship is much more personal than the regular employer/employee relationship. MBs often take it personally when a nanny decides to leave and often have feelings of resentment. Also, even if it did happen just as commonly in other industries, references are more important in the nanny world than in many other job positions. Parents need to be able to trust a nanny with their children so they want that nanny to have positive references.

Why would an MB fire a nanny who is quitting anyway (unless for some reason you don't trust her). Doesn't she need to use her notice period to find other care? Don't the parents still have jobs to go to?


I wondered about this too. If a productive employee resigns, I try to keep them as long as possible.

My guess is that this happens in situations where the employer was already unhappy with the nanny's performance but didn't want to spend the effort to replace her. Once she quits and the employer needs to get a new nanny anyway, the employer doesn't see any reason to keep putting up with whatever she is unhappy about from the nanny.

Poor performing employees are always the ones who think they are doing a perfect job. I'm sure the nanny leaving thinks she did a great job and the employer is only letting her go because she's mad but more is going on.

I agree with this.

Also, this kind of thing doesn't just happen in the nanny world. It happens all the time in many industries.

Why would an MB fire a nanny who is quitting anyway (unless for some reason you don't trust her). Doesn't she need to use her notice period to find other care? Don't the parents still have jobs to go to?

I wondered about this too. If a productive employee resigns, I try to keep them as long as possible.

My guess is that this happens in situations where the employer was already unhappy with the nanny's performance but didn't want to spend the effort to replace her. Once she quits and the employer needs to get a new nanny anyway, the employer doesn't see any reason to keep putting up with whatever she is unhappy about from the nanny.

Poor performing employees are always the ones who think they are doing a perfect job. I'm sure the nanny leaving thinks she did a great job and the employer is only letting her go because she's mad but more is going on.