I got food poisoning on my 4th day on the job. 8 years later still at my same job, I've only taken 5 sick days, total.

We didn't actually give her the cash advance. But she asked for it.

We worked with a sitter service to cover this week and have been interviewing every evening and (fingers crossed) think we found a suitable candidate.

I am not sorry I gave her the benefit of the doubt and do hope she gets well soon.

I appreciate all the advice I've received on here (gave me the courage to get the keys back....still haven't gotten our parking pass back and the daughter won't return my calls) and feel better about managing her expectations when/if she comes to me ready to work.

OP please do not give people the benefit of the doubt when hiring. This is hiring 101. Please do not continue with this nanny. There are way, way too many red flags. You will only get burned. Its highly, highly likely that this stroke stroke story is just that a story.

You sound very nice but nice people who don't know how to be consistent, upfront employers can end up in bad situations. You shouldn't need people to give you enough courage to get your keys back.

We didn't actually give her the cash advance. But she asked for it.

We worked with a sitter service to cover this week and have been interviewing every evening and (fingers crossed) think we found a suitable candidate.

I am not sorry I gave her the benefit of the doubt and do hope she gets well soon.

I appreciate all the advice I've received on here (gave me the courage to get the keys back....still haven't gotten our parking pass back and the daughter won't return my calls) and feel better about managing her expectations when/if she comes to me ready to work.

Op if you were dumb enough to hire this nanny then that's what you deserve.

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who got sued for giving a negative reference. This woman got so stressed out about having lost the suit. So now when anyone asks for a reference, she tells them to write the letter, and she'll sign it. Sounds crazy to me, but she doesn't want to risk another law suit.

if you give a reference based on facts, I do not see how you can be sued and loose. if OP says that she hired and the nanny did not show up for work on the second day alleging a health emergency, and describes the other last minute changes the nanny made (I assume OP has e-mails as evidence), I do not see why she should be afraid of a law suit. otherwise, if contacted, OP could just confim that she hired her and the dates of the first and last day of work (a lot of firms do this) and refuse to give any other detail. signing a paper submitted by the employee herself is stupid. what if there are lies or exagerations and the new employer hires the employee relying on the lies in the recomendation letter, and later finds out that they were lies.

anyway, in this situation, where the nanny worked for one day, I really do not see what type of reference OP could be asked to give. " yes, she is great, she worked for me on a Monday in January from 8am to 5pm, but I can see that she is really special" ...

I know someone who got sued for giving a negative reference. This woman got so stressed out about having lost the suit. So now when anyone asks for a reference, she tells them to write the letter, and she'll sign it. Sounds crazy to me, but she doesn't want to risk another law suit.

She didn't give the loan, so I don't see how she was scammed.

I would tell the daughter that you're sorry, but you're going to have to find something else. If her mom needs a reference when she gets out of the hospital, she can put you down (I certainly wouldn't say a *good* reference)! You can even say that it has just been terrible luck, but you need someone reliable and right now that just hasn't been your experience with her mother.

This conversation will be hard to have whether it's this week or two weeks from now, but you will feel so much better once you've moved on from all this drama.

OP - how are you? Did you find a temporary solution?