Nanny here... I went back to work after 2 months after giving birth. My family let me bring my baby to work and I'm paid as nanny share ($13 in DC). Lucky for me I don't have to worry about any other people watching my sweetheart. Also, I cannot understand nannies who leave their children in a day care (leaving with family members is understandable) to watch children' other family. Shame on you moms!

To be honest, I don't think I could sleep at night knowing my nanny was leaving a newborn to watch my kids for 50 hours plus commute. I know it's a retro feeling, but it just feels so wrong and amoral.

Please try to see if you can extend her maternity leave or allow her to bring the poor little helpless baby along with her. Not ideal, but it seems so monsterous to allow the type ic situation OP is discribing.

OMG, this is ridiculous. OP, you're not your nanny's mother and it's the nanny's job to decide on the appropriate child care plan for her family. It is not monstrous to listen to and come to an agreement about maternity leave. If your nanny discovers the plan is too difficult for her, she can reopen the conversation with you and you can grant more leave.

It is a bad idea to ever let a nanny bring her own child and the many, many threads here on the subject detail well why it is a bad idea for all concerned. That said, if you are open to doing a nanny share with your nanny, make sure you negotiate share rates, check your homeowner's insurance about liability, and detail in a contract exactly how this new nanny share might work.

If you aren't open to a nanny share with your nanny, consider LWP if she says she needs more maternity leave.

OP, how about suggesting that she come back part time at first? You could work that however it works best for you -- she does half days, she does x number of full days. You were planning to find a temp anyway, so now you'd just be looking for a part time temp. She'd have some income, and be able to rest more.

If she repeats that she wants to come back full time ... then believe her.

Revolving door nannies might not be the best thing for the children.

OP you need to be upfront about your needs and if your own job doesn't allow for flexibility in multiple days off etc then this may not work. The reality is that your nanny has no idea if she will be ready to come back in one month or not. If she is using daycare, she will have days when her kid is sick and you should confirm that she has back up care. I'm assuming that you have a demanding a job and this is one of the reasons why you chose to have a nanny.

Your job as an employer is to be honest about the job you are offering, not change your own work environment so that you can accommodate her new needs. She may need to find a job with someone who has a less demeaning job and can take more days off or be more flexible.

Under no circumstances should you arrange for her to bring her child. Whenever this issue comes up, multiple employers share their bad experiences and only the nannies may arguments that it is positive. No point in going back through this debate as you have already decided against this but be careful about situations where the nanny will want to bring her child occasionally and then it ends up becoming more regular.

Op, if you really cared you would just let her bring the baby. You say you dont have the funds to pay her leave (extended) then why cant you be flexible and let her bring baby?

To be honest, I don't think I could sleep at night knowing my nanny was leaving a newborn to watch my kids for 50 hours plus commute. I know it's a retro feeling, but it just feels so wrong and amoral.

Please try to see if you can extend her maternity leave or allow her to bring the poor little helpless baby along with her. Not ideal, but it seems so monsterous to allow the type ic situation OP is discribing.

Anyone who has been a nanny for 20 years, and is only "average", has some explaining to do, if you ask me. Frankly, one assumes some level of expertise in ANY profession, if you've been at it for 20-30 years. One also imagines that any professional engages in some sort of regular continuing education. In fact, I don't know of any professional who doesn't persue some form of ongoing learning.

Hence the difference between a sitter and a professional nanny. Big difference. But just about everyone wants a nanny, or to be one.

"BTW, the idea that markets set wages is not an "opinion" but a fact. "

what gets confused so often is the impression that just because the market rate / avg rate might be X, that does NOT mean that there is no nanny earning more than that. But likewise just because a nanny earns far about the avg rate, that doesn't make it typical or "market rate" for most positions.

Anonymous wrote:As has already been said countless times, each person is entitled to his/her opinions, and that's it. Whatever you mean by your "forceful" expression of your own opinions, is most concerning. It seems to me that you allow no one to disagree with your own "forceful" opinions. It is my understanding that we are all invited to discuss and debate, and no one has a right to force out differing opinions.

Am I Jeff now? Or Maria? I can delete comments and block users? Wow! I rock!

BTW, the idea that markets set wages is not an "opinion" but a fact. Perhaps if everyone around here knew the difference between facts and opinions, more common ground could be reached. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But we all have to deal with the same facts.

Anonymous wrote:You've never said that a nanny who earns 25-30/hr, is overpaid, or some such idea?

No, I have not categorically said that a nanny earning that much is overpaid.

Is it market rates? No, but of course there are some nannies who are worth that. My own, for example.

OP, I'm sorry you had so many doctors appointments in the beginning but that is not the case for everyone. Unless I missed it, you didn't say how old your child/ren is/are or what your nanny's plan is for childcare for her own child is.

I might suggest telling her she can bring her newborn for the first 8 weeks or something like that.

OP, if she has a normal delivery there is no reasom why she can't come back to work. It is only in recent times that working women have been given so much maternity leave. (No comments about other countries giving so much more and the US should do the same.)

If she is fine and needs the money why penalize her because of your experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...the same way a mum does, with two or more, children.

There are often posts on the general parenting forum or expectant mom forum from second time moms wondering how their older children will react to seeing them nurse or pump for the baby. As a mom of 1, I also remember when pumping for my DC, I wouldn't get nearly enough if trying to run around and do other chores while pumping - I usually had to be sitting somewhere quietly, trying to relax, and maybe having a snack to get enough for the next day - and had to do it about four times a day. So in all seriousness, how does a nanny being paid to chase after a toddler all day do it?

There's nap time, lunch time, times when toddler is quietly occupied, etc. Countless SAHMs, and nannies have made it work.

Anonymous wrote:...the same way a mum does, with two or more, children.

There are often posts on the general parenting forum or expectant mom forum from second time moms wondering how their older children will react to seeing them nurse or pump for the baby. As a mom of 1, I also remember when pumping for my DC, I wouldn't get nearly enough if trying to run around and do other chores while pumping - I usually had to be sitting somewhere quietly, trying to relax, and maybe having a snack to get enough for the next day - and had to do it about four times a day. So in all seriousness, how does a nanny being paid to chase after a toddler all day do it?