I think it's completely reasonable that you reduce the rate for the hours that the nanny brings another child (however, I'd say that what the other family pays her is really none of your business and should be left out of the equation all together). Something along the lines of:

"Nanny, I'm very concerned over the increased number of days you're bringing little Jimmy over her during our regularly scheduled hours. It's fine if you continue doing so, but I think it's only fair that we treat those hours as a nanny share and pay $X rate. You will of course still continue to earn your regular rate any time you're just watching my children"

OR if you're not comfortable with letting the child come over frequently even at a reduced rate:

"Nanny, I know there are occasions of unexpected emergencies but I've noticed you're bringing little Jimmy over here more and more frequently without any extenuating circumstances. It's fine if you need to bring him over here every once in a blue moon, but I'm really not comfortable having it happen on a regular basis. Having a third child here limits your interactions with my children and splits your focus and I'm not comfortable with the dynamic it creates."

FWIW I'm a Nanny, and I would never think to try and double up like this without discussing it with both sets of parents ahead of time.

By all means, discuss your concerns with her, and see what she thinks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had 2 doctor parents hire me while I brought my own child. They paid me my regular high rates. They simply wanted the best care, and they could afford it.

Not all parents consider another child to be a liability. If you do, you, should inform the nanny, and let the chips fall where they may.

I'm not considering the other child a liability.. simply put, if I was agreeing to this arrangement where my nanny is also caring and getting to paid to care, for someone else's child when caring for my kids, then I would have discussed a fair payment arrangement with the nanny and the other family up front.

Anonymous wrote:I had 2 doctor parents hire me while I brought my own child. They paid me my regular high rates. They simply wanted the best care, and they could afford it.

Not all parents consider another child to be a liability. If you do, you, should inform the nanny, and let the chips fall where they may.

I would love to hear an actual nannies fair input on this if you have been in this situation. How would you justify charging both families their normal rates as if you were caring for their children separately?

Where can I get one of your fabulous nannies?

There are a lot of fabulous nannies out there and this one sounds like she is taking advantage of the situation. If it happens on a rare occasion, then I would give her points for trying to be accommodating. If it happens a lot, either she or the other family is turning this into a nanny share and it should be treated as one.

Anonymous wrote:I had 2 doctor parents hire me while I brought my own child. They paid me my regular high rates. They simply wanted the best care, and they could afford it.

9:50 has every right to her personal opinion, but not every parent agrees with her. Obviously.

OP, you are definitely being taken advantage of. I'm not sure where you are but $35/hr is a crazy high rate. When nanny brings another child, whether hers or another, your rate should be decreased by a third (if there are 3 in the share) or half (if 2 kids). She is double dipping and that is completely uncool.

Anonymous wrote:OP said the nanny is fabulous.

So? Does this give nanny the right to take advantage of the situation?

OP said the nanny is fabulous.

Anonymous wrote:I had 2 doctor parents hire me while I brought my own child. They paid me my regular high rates. They simply wanted the best care, and they could afford it.

But clearly that wasn't what the OP thought she was getting when she hired this nanny. I would tell the nanny that its not working for you to have the other child there all the time, and that while you understand emergencies happen on snow days and such, your car is not suited for a nanny share and the pay you offer is for the care of your two children and not your two children plus a baby. Tell her she is going to have to talk to the other family about her inability to routinely take their child on her off days, and that they will need to find other back-up care unless they want to start a share with you in which case they should call you to set up the details and the pay schedule.

If it's a matter of your personal finances, I'd approach it from that angle. Maybe her finances are in better shape. Who knows.

Anonymous wrote:I had 2 doctor parents hire me while I brought my own child. They paid me my regular high rates. They simply wanted the best care, and they could afford it.

Fantastic, I'm sure you are well worth it. However, this was the original arrangement they agreed to.. different story. I'm also not a highly compensated doctor...

OP, you can certainly do whatever you want. Your risk is losing the nanny. Only you can determine if it's worth it.