Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I so agree with those saying "No children!".
I used to want 2-3 but now I want none. I feel ashamed to admit this to anyone. Anytime I tell someone, they always say,"You'll feel different about your own children." But I don't think I will.

This job, to me, is rather lonely, boring, and calls for faking so much happiness.
I'm so sad that I feel this way. I want to want children.... perhaps the long winter is just giving me the blues!
Such an interesting topic. I love how open and honest everyone is on this thread

For all those saying you don't want children...do you not want kids at all, ever? Or just not want to have your day job involve taking care of them?

I'm a WOHM knows I would not enjoy having my identity be bound up with being a SAHM or nanny. For me it would be isolating and repetitive, especially because although I love my babies I don't want to rock and shush 24/7 or even 9-5. I do plenty of 2 hour shifts around the clock, including nursing at least 10+ hours a day (WAH for much of their first year of life), but I wouldn't enjoy doing it straight through or not having other activities to think about if that makes sense. The way I see it is that this phase is temporary and I am ok with sharing their care. I think it is overall healthier for me and them not to have someone burn out, which is why I also prefer two PT nannies or PT nanny/preschool once they get to that age. Is it normal to like kids, just not want to be solely responsible for caring for them 24/7? I think it is.

Of course being a parent means being ultimately responsible 24/7 and loving them impossibly and all that. It just seems possible to find some balance between that and exposing them to different caregivers. In other societies kids are still being brought up in large extended family settings, which seems healthier for all. It's only here that we have this ideal of nuclear family/intense mother-child bond to the exclusivity of other relationships.

Anonymous wrote:I so agree with those saying "No children!".
I used to want 2-3 but now I want none. I feel ashamed to admit this to anyone. Anytime I tell someone, they always say,"You'll feel different about your own children." But I don't think I will.

This job, to me, is rather lonely, boring, and calls for faking so much happiness.
I'm so sad that I feel this way. I want to want children.... perhaps the long winter is just giving me the blues!
Such an interesting topic. I love how open and honest everyone is on this thread

Anonymous wrote:It burned me out! I had to quit nannying for a year before trying to have my own. Best decision ever . Being a nanny is so exhausting!!

Anonymous wrote:To 1:45, I agree that it's not just dads! I am a straight female, so I think I focus more on dads when I think of traits I would seek or avoid in a future spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If anything being a nanny has made me want children even more. It has given me a chance to see and test out different parenting styles, taught me what baby products i really need/want and how to eliminate bad habits from early on. sleep training, potty training, healthy eating habits, and age appropriate activities are some of the major things i've learned over the years to address immediately and have figured out how i will handle them. I will surprisingly be a very earthly crunchy mother with clear age appropriate expectations (no attachment parenting for me). I also want to raise humble, respectful children who don't take what is given to them for granted. They won't be getting every toy they want and will be expected to donate their toys and time to charity or volunteer when they are old enough.
Hopefully i will have a spouse that will support my parenting style and will be actively involved. Honestly if i take one thing away from this field, its that i want a husband that is going to be an active involved father, who will be as excited about our children as i will. Unfortunately, I've worked with families where the father has no interest in the children and its quite depressing.

Wow, did I write this and forget? Agree 100% with everything you said.

I would not assume by your observations that the dad does not what children or is not enthusiastic about them. You never know what is going on in couples. My nanny met my husband on her interview and never again. He is gone before she arrives and arrives after she leaves. I also never talk about him because it just never comes up. But, I consult him throughout the day on text and he is very caring and responsive.

The reason why my nanny never sees my husband is because he is so busy working to pay for the house, the groceries, the nanny, and everything that costs money so the family can live comfortably.

First, why so defensive?

Second, you are not the kind of family we are talking about. I have worked for (multiple) families where I basically worked all hours when MB or another sitter weren't there because the dad couldn't (wouldn't) care for his child/ren alone. Sure, lots of people have the nanny in every so often on a day when they just want a sitter so that they can relax or run errands, but if it's openly discussed that Dad has NEVER left the house with his child, that he has NEVER handled bedtime or a meal, if I am working while he is in the living room watching reruns multiple times per month, then that is a dad who is clearly checked out. I wouldn't have realized that it was even possible to be physically living in the same house as your own child and be THAT detached unless I had seenit happen multiple times as a nanny, and it's made me much more attuned to that in potential partners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If anything being a nanny has made me want children even more. It has given me a chance to see and test out different parenting styles, taught me what baby products i really need/want and how to eliminate bad habits from early on. sleep training, potty training, healthy eating habits, and age appropriate activities are some of the major things i've learned over the years to address immediately and have figured out how i will handle them. I will surprisingly be a very earthly crunchy mother with clear age appropriate expectations (no attachment parenting for me). I also want to raise humble, respectful children who don't take what is given to them for granted. They won't be getting every toy they want and will be expected to donate their toys and time to charity or volunteer when they are old enough.
Hopefully i will have a spouse that will support my parenting style and will be actively involved. Honestly if i take one thing away from this field, its that i want a husband that is going to be an active involved father, who will be as excited about our children as i will. Unfortunately, I've worked with families where the father has no interest in the children and its quite depressing.

Wow, did I write this and forget? Agree 100% with everything you said.

I would not assume by your observations that the dad does not what children or is not enthusiastic about them. You never know what is going on in couples. My nanny met my husband on her interview and never again. He is gone before she arrives and arrives after she leaves. I also never talk about him because it just never comes up. But, I consult him throughout the day on text and he is very caring and responsive.

The reason why my nanny never sees my husband is because he is so busy working to pay for the house, the groceries, the nanny, and everything that costs money so the family can live comfortably.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If anything being a nanny has made me want children even more. It has given me a chance to see and test out different parenting styles, taught me what baby products i really need/want and how to eliminate bad habits from early on. sleep training, potty training, healthy eating habits, and age appropriate activities are some of the major things i've learned over the years to address immediately and have figured out how i will handle them. I will surprisingly be a very earthly crunchy mother with clear age appropriate expectations (no attachment parenting for me). I also want to raise humble, respectful children who don't take what is given to them for granted. They won't be getting every toy they want and will be expected to donate their toys and time to charity or volunteer when they are old enough.
Hopefully i will have a spouse that will support my parenting style and will be actively involved. Honestly if i take one thing away from this field, its that i want a husband that is going to be an active involved father, who will be as excited about our children as i will. Unfortunately, I've worked with families where the father has no interest in the children and its quite depressing.

Wow, did I write this and forget? Agree 100% with everything you said.

Anonymous wrote:If anything being a nanny has made me want children even more. It has given me a chance to see and test out different parenting styles, taught me what baby products i really need/want and how to eliminate bad habits from early on. sleep training, potty training, healthy eating habits, and age appropriate activities are some of the major things i've learned over the years to address immediately and have figured out how i will handle them. I will surprisingly be a very earthly crunchy mother with clear age appropriate expectations (no attachment parenting for me). I also want to raise humble, respectful children who don't take what is given to them for granted. They won't be getting every toy they want and will be expected to donate their toys and time to charity or volunteer when they are old enough.
Hopefully i will have a spouse that will support my parenting style and will be actively involved. Honestly if i take one thing away from this field, its that i want a husband that is going to be an active involved father, who will be as excited about our children as i will. Unfortunately, I've worked with families where the father has no interest in the children and its quite depressing.

Anonymous wrote:I've always wanted 2-3 kids and I still do so that hasn't changed. If I've learned anything from being a nanny, it's with my current family. They have twins that are 20 months old now and they STILL wake up multiple times a night and the parent's bring them into bed with them because it's "easier then having to sleep train them". It's absolutely ridiculous and makes nap times a nightmare for me when I'm with them. I know that when I become a parent, I will not take the lazy way out of sleep training.