Anonymous wrote:
I would say something like:
We are all having to make due with a little less in this economy, but giving you a holiday GIFT that shows you how valued you are is important to me. I was really proud that we were able to give you $1000 last year. I am hurt that this gift was not good enough for you, and disappointed that it did not make you feel special. I am not sure what I can do to resolve this issue this year. Is there a non-monetary gift that you would enjoy?
This is terrible advice. You are basically rewarding this nanny for awful behavior. Why on earth would you offer a non-monetary gift to someone who is so rude and unprofessional? The passive-aggressive tone trying to hint at how she should sort of feel guilty because you may be hurt that she does't feel special is just stupid and not the way to manage a good relationship.
OP your nanny is trying to take advantage of you and hopes that you are an idiot like the poster above who will give in to anything. Be upfront and tell her that her request is inappropriate and a bonus is discretionary. If she presses it let her know that she shouldn't bank on anything let alone a tripled amount several weeks early. If she pulls this sort of thing again (or has in the past) look for someone else.