Anonymous
Post 09/29/2013 10:37     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:

By establishing and maintaining competent and stable caregiving, is how a child is afforded the sense of security, during the first three foundational years of life.


Stable caregivers don't spend weekends weeping in bed for their charges. That's the definition of instability.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2013 10:26     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?


By establishing and maintaining competent and stable caregiving, is how a child is afforded the sense of security, during the first three foundational years of life.

Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 17:55     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Having high-turnover nannies is no less damaging to the sense of security to a baby or young child, than having high-turnover daycare workers.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 17:34     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Um, no. These are not essential questions in any equation to assess possible "damage" to a child. These are your questions that you think might possibly advance your theory, which has been roundly dismissed as nonsense.

There is no evidence that changing nannies results in any damage to a child. None.

At this point, I really hope you are a troll because the idea that someone so obstinately ignorant being in charge of taking care of children is far more troubling than you simply being a troll.

Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 17:13     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?

The essential questions here are:

1. How old is your child?

2. How many hours a week is your child receiving substitute care?

3. How often are you switching out the caregivers?



Each of these questions are part the equation, as to probable damage (or not) and to what extent. Obviously, we must remember that each individual child may process his or her changing enviornment, differently.

All other factors in a child's life, also affect the longterm effects of multiple caregivers during a child's first three years of life.











Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 16:59     Subject: Re:Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:


I don't know about you, but what would make me feel better is if your daycare director had enough common sense NOT TO HIRE an illiterate, hygiene-challenged, cold caregiver IN THE FIRST PLACE.

You, my friend, earn top honors today, for precisely illustrating your problem so effectively. Your continued inability to identify and hire stable substitute childcare, due to your continued utter lack of knowledge, experience, understanding, or concern, is NOT an acceptable excuse for you to rob your young child the lifelong benefits of having consistant, capable, trained, and most of all, LOVING care.

Too many unstable and inept caregivers during very early childhood, most definately can, and often do, result in longterm damage.

I am not your friend and the only thing I demonstrated today - without becoming sarcastic, rude or dismissive - is that I do not agree with you. The fact is that you have no idea about the kind of childcare my young child does; you never will. Fact is, you don't even know that I have a young child.

There is a world of gray between "too many unstable and inept caregivers" and clinging to a caregiver who no longer meets the needs of the family in the name of stability.

Why do you hyphenate "precisely-illustrating"?


The fact is that you don't need to agree with anyone and you can maintain any opinion you want with regard to caregiver stability, or lack thereof. Another fact is that you can hire as many caregivers for your child as you find suitable to fit your fancy. In fact, you many get yourself a new one every 60 days if you wish. One would think that should meet your "changing needs".

Or one may study a little early childhood developement and "attatchment", and see what surprises one may encounter.

It may bring some understanding to your child's critical requirements for building a strong foundation for his or her, entire future.


Wow, PP, you are seriously unhinged on this topic. Btw, I'm not the PP you are quoting. I'm the PP who thinks your real issue is job security for nannies.

I don't particularly care about your opinions. You are entitled to them, no matter how foolish they may be.

But I have to consider other parents who may not recognize your nonsense. You have been given sources, in several threads, that show that there is no support for your position that changing nannies leads to attachment disorders. Because they don't. In fact, the literature is consistent that attachment disorders have nothing to do with daycare or nannies. You are flat out wrong.

Children will have many important people in their lives. Daycare workers, nannies, teachers, family and friends. The most important figures will always be their parents, their true primary caregivers.

You can continue to argue with the several patient people who have told you how wrong you are, but doing so will never make you right.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 16:54     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Get life..
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 16:49     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:
The fact is that you don't need to agree with anyone and you can maintain any opinion you want with regard to caregiver stability, or lack thereof. Another fact is that you can hire as many caregivers for your child as you find suitable to fit your fancy. In fact, you many get yourself a new one every 60 days if you wish. One would think that should meet your "changing needs".

Or one may study a little early childhood developement and "attatchment", and see what surprises one may encounter.

It may bring some understanding to your child's critical requirements for building a strong foundation for his or her, entire future.

Would it surprise you to see that someone may study early childhood development and come out with beliefs different from yours? Surely you can't be the only person in the world who reads books on the matter. Might there be support in that literature for a point of view different from yours?

Additionally, I am not sure why you choose to see only the extremes of the matter - perhaps because it works better for your argument? There are many shades of gray between getting a new caregiver every sixty days and getting a new caregiver when the needs of the family evolve beyond what the current caregiver is able to provide.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 16:32     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

I don't know about you, but what would make me feel better is if your daycare director had enough common sense NOT TO HIRE an illiterate, hygiene-challenged, cold caregiver IN THE FIRST PLACE.

You, my friend, earn top honors today, for precisely illustrating your problem so effectively. Your continued inability to identify and hire stable substitute childcare, due to your continued utter lack of knowledge, experience, understanding, or concern, is NOT an acceptable excuse for you to rob your young child the lifelong benefits of having consistant, capable, trained, and most of all, LOVING care.

Too many unstable and inept caregivers during very early childhood, most definately can, and often do, result in longterm damage.

I am not your friend and the only thing I demonstrated today - without becoming sarcastic, rude or dismissive - is that I do not agree with you. The fact is that you have no idea about the kind of childcare my young child does; you never will. Fact is, you don't even know that I have a young child.

There is a world of gray between "too many unstable and inept caregivers" and clinging to a caregiver who no longer meets the needs of the family in the name of stability.

Why do you hyphenate "precisely-illustrating"?


The fact is that you don't need to agree with anyone and you can maintain any opinion you want with regard to caregiver stability, or lack thereof. Another fact is that you can hire as many caregivers for your child as you find suitable to fit your fancy. In fact, you many get yourself a new one every 60 days if you wish. One would think that should meet your "changing needs".

Or one may study a little early childhood developement and "attatchment", and see what surprises one may encounter.

It may bring some understanding to your child's critical requirements for building a strong foundation for his or her, entire future.






Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 15:58     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:

I don't know about you, but what would make me feel better is if your daycare director had enough common sense NOT TO HIRE an illiterate, hygiene-challenged, cold caregiver IN THE FIRST PLACE.

You, my friend, earn top honors today, for precisely illustrating your problem so effectively. Your continued inability to identify and hire stable substitute childcare, due to your continued utter lack of knowledge, experience, understanding, or concern, is NOT an acceptable excuse for you to rob your young child the lifelong benefits of having consistant, capable, trained, and most of all, LOVING care.

Too many unstable and inept caregivers during very early childhood, most definately can, and often do, result in longterm damage.

I am not your friend and the only thing I demonstrated today - without becoming sarcastic, rude or dismissive - is that I do not agree with you. The fact is that you have no idea about the kind of childcare my young child does; you never will. Fact is, you don't even know that I have a young child.

There is a world of gray between "too many unstable and inept caregivers" and clinging to a caregiver who no longer meets the needs of the family in the name of stability.

Why do you hyphenate "precisely-illustrating"?
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 15:47     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Why would anyone suddenly think that high turnover is good? Usually the very first question parents have for daycares is,
"How long have the caregivers been here?"
No one wants high turnover.

I don't think anyone is saying that high turnover is good. What people are saying, if you read them as they are and not as you wish them to be, is that absence of turnover, while a good thing, does not trump every other consideration in rearing children. What trumps everything is the fit between the needs of the child as part of the family, and the skills of a caregiver. Would it make you feel better if the daycare director assured you that her illiterate, hygiene-challenged, cold caregivers have been with her for twenty years?

Stability isn't like oxygen; there is no need to forget everything else or put up with everything else for the sake of it - otherwise, for instance, no one would get out of bad marriages. What good is there in stable misery? Or even in stable mediocrity? Change isn't lethal.


I don't know about you, but what would make me feel better is if your daycare director had enough common sense NOT TO HIRE an illiterate, hygiene-challenged, cold caregiver IN THE FIRST PLACE.

You, my friend, earn top honors today, for precisely illustrating your problem so effectively. Your continued inability to identify and hire stable substitute childcare, due to your continued utter lack of knowledge, experience, understanding, or concern, is NOT an acceptable excuse for you to rob your young child the lifelong benefits of having consistant, capable, trained, and most of all, LOVING care.

Too many unstable and inept caregivers during very early childhood, most definately can, and often do, result in longterm damage.











Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 14:57     Subject: Re:Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:

Why would anyone suddenly think that high turnover is good? Usually the very first question parents have for daycares is,
"How long have the caregivers been here?"
No one wants high turnover.

I don't think anyone is saying that high turnover is good. What people are saying, if you read them as they are and not as you wish them to be, is that absence of turnover, while a good thing, does not trump every other consideration in rearing children. What trumps everything is the fit between the needs of the child as part of the family, and the skills of a caregiver. Would it make you feel better if the daycare director assured you that her illiterate, hygiene-challenged, cold caregivers have been with her for twenty years?

Stability isn't like oxygen; there is no need to forget everything else or put up with everything else for the sake of it - otherwise, for instance, no one would get out of bad marriages. What good is there in stable misery? Or even in stable mediocrity? Change isn't lethal.


Well said, PP.

I understand the nanny's interest in wanting job security, but framing that as an issue of stability for children fails to take into account all the other factors to consider when it comes to the best care for children.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 13:17     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:
Why would anyone suddenly think that high turnover is good? Usually the very first question parents have for daycares is,
"How long have the caregivers been here?"
No one wants high turnover.

I don't think anyone is saying that high turnover is good. What people are saying, if you read them as they are and not as you wish them to be, is that absence of turnover, while a good thing, does not trump every other consideration in rearing children. What trumps everything is the fit between the needs of the child as part of the family, and the skills of a caregiver. Would it make you feel better if the daycare director assured you that her illiterate, hygiene-challenged, cold caregivers have been with her for twenty years?

Stability isn't like oxygen; there is no need to forget everything else or put up with everything else for the sake of it - otherwise, for instance, no one would get out of bad marriages. What good is there in stable misery? Or even in stable mediocrity? Change isn't lethal.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 12:47     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Do you really believe that severed caregiver relationships are so great for your child?

It's not the long-term-ness of the caregiver that matters; it's how well the caregiver meets the current needs of the family. His nanny did a fab job for a year that she cared for him. Then he needed something else. Change is a fact of life. Caretakers come and go as the child's needs evolve. No one person can meet our every need.


High turnover is precisely why so many parents avoid daycare. In fact, it's one of the major problems with daycare. No parent (that I know) believes that turnover of caregivers is good for their child during the first three years of life.

It's true that some mothers are so threatened by another caregiver, that they actually believe what you seem to believe. It's good if their child can't establish (and maintain!) long-term attatchments. Do you have a clue how ridiculous this is? It's the epitome of selfishness, at the expense of your child's healthy and secure development.








Why would anyone suddenly think that high turnover is good? Usually the very first question parents have for daycares is,
"How long have the caregivers been here?"
No one wants high turnover.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2013 12:44     Subject: Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?
Anonymous wrote:Primary doesn't mean what you think it means, 22:16.

The very patient MB at 22:26 explained it quite well in her last paragraph.

It's time you let this go.

You may continue to believe as you wish.
Wishing you the best of luck.