Anonymous wrote:You can't reduce her wages, unfortunately.

Many people would say you're overpaying, but not all would agree. She could probably get hired for what you're paying (or more) by another Russian family, or she could get hired for far, far less by a non-Russian family.

It sounds like the bigger issue is the driving, which we can't really help with. Good luck, OP.

Anonymous wrote:When you insult someone for not learning a language, that is an attack. When you insult a group of people (immigrants) for not learning a language, you offend me with your judgmental attitude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your statement that "it is easier to learn a language when you are younger" is laughable in this case. That's true when comparing learning a new language at age 3 to learning a new language at age 17 because toddlers are little sponges, but twenty years is a LONG time to live in a country and not be able to speak the language. My great-grandparents moved to America from Greece when they were in their late thirties, and they managed to speak fluent English within a few years.

Different poster here, but you sound like a jerk.

Sometimes there are cultural reasons adults fail to learn the language of their new country, like when they have a lot of guilt about leaving their homeland and don't want to become "too" American (or English or French or whatever). Sometimes they desperately want to but don't have any built-in opportunities to practice (such as when they live and work with people who speak their native tongue and/or work with young children who don't speak at all) and are shy, intimidated, or too busy to create opportunities to practice outside of their regular daily routine. And other people try and simply cannot do it. I'm very pleased that your great-grandparents were able to learn English when they moved here, and I'm sure you'd also tell us how bright they were, right? Well, not everyone can do that. Please recognize that people are different, people's brains are different, and people's priorities are different.

I don't mind sounding like a "jerk" then, though I have to say, your reasons are ridiculous. Guilt? Guilt is not a reason to choose not to learn to get by. A person does not have to give up his/her language and culture, but if s/he wants to move to a new place, s/he HAS to learn to live in the new place. This means learning the laws, the layout, the customs, and the language. She has no way to practice? Well, the family that she works for speak English, right? Could they afford to pay for her to take a class or two, to at least become conversational? Does she own a TV or radio? Those can help. As for someone who "simply cannot do it," if a person can live for 20 years in a country without becoming conversational in the language, unless she or he has significant special needs (in which case, s/he should not be a nanny) that's a problem. It makes me wonder what other skills she "cannot" learn, and I, personally, wouldn't want someone that inept caring for my kids. As for "priorities," this isn't about learning an extra language for fun, this is about learning the language of the country in which a person lives. In two decades, that's never been a priority?

Regarding recognizing that "all people are different," fine, but WTF is this nanny's excuse? Is she a person with special needs? As I said, if that's the case, she shouldn't be the nanny. Can she not afford a radio? Does she have zero interest in even the most basic form of assimilation? This isn't a 90 year old woman who just moved to the United States from another country, this is a nanny - PAID TO RAISE CHILDREN - who has been here TWENTY YEARS. What if one of the children was hurt and needed to go to the emergency room, and the nanny was completely unable to tell the doctors what had happened? What if someone broke into the home? What if one of the children was there was an issue at school and the nanny needed to rush there to pick up the child and speak with the nurse/principal/etc? Seems pretty irresponsible of the parents to hire her, but then, I wonder about their judgment anyway - wanting to pay someone less for doing a certain job based on that person's lack of ability to speak English is exactly what plantation owners did in California during the Depression - paying Mexican workers far below a living wage and justifying what was barely a step above slavery by saying things like "They're not citizens" and "they don't speak English."

PS: My great-grandparents were no more or less intelligent than any other typical person. When they came to America, countless other immigrants from countries all around the world came too. And they all learned English.

So you think I'm a jerk to think the nanny should learn to speak English? Fine. I'm a jerk.

I have to say you sound like one. and a narrow minded and judgmental one

You're right. It's MUCH better to hire someone who could potentially be a danger for the child (see multiple reasons above). I am also judgmental when it comes to drug addicts, pedophiles, and child abusers, and I probably wouldn't hire a nanny who is blind and deaf or without arms and legs, or had Down Syndrome, or was over 75 years old, even though I personally have nothing against the disabled or elderly. If a person can live in a country for a couple of decades without becoming conversational in the language, how can it NOT make you wonder about their ability to care for one's child(ren) in that country? Guess your priorities are different - as are your standards. Enjoy having a nanny who can't communicate with the necessary people in the event of an emergency. I prefer one who could.

Geez .... You are entitled to your ways/opinions but no need to impose them on others or attack others for not sharing your views. We live in a free country, remember?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you outraged, PP? Over and over again, market rates have been shared here. In DC $15/hr for one child, $17/hr or more for 2+.

We get it. You'd like to make more. Fair enough. Show you are worth more. Until you can do that, employers will expect you to work for market rates.

It is interesting that on just this thread alone there was a claim that the going market rate in DC is $10/hour for one child and also that it is $15. It is an illustration of the fact that the market rate is not equivalent to what any give individual would like to believe it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your statement that "it is easier to learn a language when you are younger" is laughable in this case. That's true when comparing learning a new language at age 3 to learning a new language at age 17 because toddlers are little sponges, but twenty years is a LONG time to live in a country and not be able to speak the language. My great-grandparents moved to America from Greece when they were in their late thirties, and they managed to speak fluent English within a few years.

Different poster here, but you sound like a jerk.

Sometimes there are cultural reasons adults fail to learn the language of their new country, like when they have a lot of guilt about leaving their homeland and don't want to become "too" American (or English or French or whatever). Sometimes they desperately want to but don't have any built-in opportunities to practice (such as when they live and work with people who speak their native tongue and/or work with young children who don't speak at all) and are shy, intimidated, or too busy to create opportunities to practice outside of their regular daily routine. And other people try and simply cannot do it. I'm very pleased that your great-grandparents were able to learn English when they moved here, and I'm sure you'd also tell us how bright they were, right? Well, not everyone can do that. Please recognize that people are different, people's brains are different, and people's priorities are different.

I don't mind sounding like a "jerk" then, though I have to say, your reasons are ridiculous. Guilt? Guilt is not a reason to choose not to learn to get by. A person does not have to give up his/her language and culture, but if s/he wants to move to a new place, s/he HAS to learn to live in the new place. This means learning the laws, the layout, the customs, and the language. She has no way to practice? Well, the family that she works for speak English, right? Could they afford to pay for her to take a class or two, to at least become conversational? Does she own a TV or radio? Those can help. As for someone who "simply cannot do it," if a person can live for 20 years in a country without becoming conversational in the language, unless she or he has significant special needs (in which case, s/he should not be a nanny) that's a problem. It makes me wonder what other skills she "cannot" learn, and I, personally, wouldn't want someone that inept caring for my kids. As for "priorities," this isn't about learning an extra language for fun, this is about learning the language of the country in which a person lives. In two decades, that's never been a priority?

Regarding recognizing that "all people are different," fine, but WTF is this nanny's excuse? Is she a person with special needs? As I said, if that's the case, she shouldn't be the nanny. Can she not afford a radio? Does she have zero interest in even the most basic form of assimilation? This isn't a 90 year old woman who just moved to the United States from another country, this is a nanny - PAID TO RAISE CHILDREN - who has been here TWENTY YEARS. What if one of the children was hurt and needed to go to the emergency room, and the nanny was completely unable to tell the doctors what had happened? What if someone broke into the home? What if one of the children was there was an issue at school and the nanny needed to rush there to pick up the child and speak with the nurse/principal/etc? Seems pretty irresponsible of the parents to hire her, but then, I wonder about their judgment anyway - wanting to pay someone less for doing a certain job based on that person's lack of ability to speak English is exactly what plantation owners did in California during the Depression - paying Mexican workers far below a living wage and justifying what was barely a step above slavery by saying things like "They're not citizens" and "they don't speak English."

PS: My great-grandparents were no more or less intelligent than any other typical person. When they came to America, countless other immigrants from countries all around the world came too. And they all learned English.

So you think I'm a jerk to think the nanny should learn to speak English? Fine. I'm a jerk.

I have to say you sound like one. and a narrow minded and judgmental one

You're right. It's MUCH better to hire someone who could potentially be a danger for the child (see multiple reasons above). I am also judgmental when it comes to drug addicts, pedophiles, and child abusers, and I probably wouldn't hire a nanny who is blind and deaf or without arms and legs, or had Down Syndrome, or was over 75 years old, even though I personally have nothing against the disabled or elderly. If a person can live in a country for a couple of decades without becoming conversational in the language, how can it NOT make you wonder about their ability to care for one's child(ren) in that country? Guess your priorities are different - as are your standards. Enjoy having a nanny who can't communicate with the necessary people in the event of an emergency. I prefer one who could.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your statement that "it is easier to learn a language when you are younger" is laughable in this case. That's true when comparing learning a new language at age 3 to learning a new language at age 17 because toddlers are little sponges, but twenty years is a LONG time to live in a country and not be able to speak the language. My great-grandparents moved to America from Greece when they were in their late thirties, and they managed to speak fluent English within a few years.

Different poster here, but you sound like a jerk.

Sometimes there are cultural reasons adults fail to learn the language of their new country, like when they have a lot of guilt about leaving their homeland and don't want to become "too" American (or English or French or whatever). Sometimes they desperately want to but don't have any built-in opportunities to practice (such as when they live and work with people who speak their native tongue and/or work with young children who don't speak at all) and are shy, intimidated, or too busy to create opportunities to practice outside of their regular daily routine. And other people try and simply cannot do it. I'm very pleased that your great-grandparents were able to learn English when they moved here, and I'm sure you'd also tell us how bright they were, right? Well, not everyone can do that. Please recognize that people are different, people's brains are different, and people's priorities are different.

I don't mind sounding like a "jerk" then, though I have to say, your reasons are ridiculous. Guilt? Guilt is not a reason to choose not to learn to get by. A person does not have to give up his/her language and culture, but if s/he wants to move to a new place, s/he HAS to learn to live in the new place. This means learning the laws, the layout, the customs, and the language. She has no way to practice? Well, the family that she works for speak English, right? Could they afford to pay for her to take a class or two, to at least become conversational? Does she own a TV or radio? Those can help. As for someone who "simply cannot do it," if a person can live for 20 years in a country without becoming conversational in the language, unless she or he has significant special needs (in which case, s/he should not be a nanny) that's a problem. It makes me wonder what other skills she "cannot" learn, and I, personally, wouldn't want someone that inept caring for my kids. As for "priorities," this isn't about learning an extra language for fun, this is about learning the language of the country in which a person lives. In two decades, that's never been a priority?

Regarding recognizing that "all people are different," fine, but WTF is this nanny's excuse? Is she a person with special needs? As I said, if that's the case, she shouldn't be the nanny. Can she not afford a radio? Does she have zero interest in even the most basic form of assimilation? This isn't a 90 year old woman who just moved to the United States from another country, this is a nanny - PAID TO RAISE CHILDREN - who has been here TWENTY YEARS. What if one of the children was hurt and needed to go to the emergency room, and the nanny was completely unable to tell the doctors what had happened? What if someone broke into the home? What if one of the children was there was an issue at school and the nanny needed to rush there to pick up the child and speak with the nurse/principal/etc? Seems pretty irresponsible of the parents to hire her, but then, I wonder about their judgment anyway - wanting to pay someone less for doing a certain job based on that person's lack of ability to speak English is exactly what plantation owners did in California during the Depression - paying Mexican workers far below a living wage and justifying what was barely a step above slavery by saying things like "They're not citizens" and "they don't speak English."

PS: My great-grandparents were no more or less intelligent than any other typical person. When they came to America, countless other immigrants from countries all around the world came too. And they all learned English.

So you think I'm a jerk to think the nanny should learn to speak English? Fine. I'm a jerk.

I have to say you sound like one. and a narrow minded and judgmental one

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your statement that "it is easier to learn a language when you are younger" is laughable in this case. That's true when comparing learning a new language at age 3 to learning a new language at age 17 because toddlers are little sponges, but twenty years is a LONG time to live in a country and not be able to speak the language. My great-grandparents moved to America from Greece when they were in their late thirties, and they managed to speak fluent English within a few years.

Different poster here, but you sound like a jerk.

Sometimes there are cultural reasons adults fail to learn the language of their new country, like when they have a lot of guilt about leaving their homeland and don't want to become "too" American (or English or French or whatever). Sometimes they desperately want to but don't have any built-in opportunities to practice (such as when they live and work with people who speak their native tongue and/or work with young children who don't speak at all) and are shy, intimidated, or too busy to create opportunities to practice outside of their regular daily routine. And other people try and simply cannot do it. I'm very pleased that your great-grandparents were able to learn English when they moved here, and I'm sure you'd also tell us how bright they were, right? Well, not everyone can do that. Please recognize that people are different, people's brains are different, and people's priorities are different.

I don't mind sounding like a "jerk" then, though I have to say, your reasons are ridiculous. Guilt? Guilt is not a reason to choose not to learn to get by. A person does not have to give up his/her language and culture, but if s/he wants to move to a new place, s/he HAS to learn to live in the new place. This means learning the laws, the layout, the customs, and the language. She has no way to practice? Well, the family that she works for speak English, right? Could they afford to pay for her to take a class or two, to at least become conversational? Does she own a TV or radio? Those can help. As for someone who "simply cannot do it," if a person can live for 20 years in a country without becoming conversational in the language, unless she or he has significant special needs (in which case, s/he should not be a nanny) that's a problem. It makes me wonder what other skills she "cannot" learn, and I, personally, wouldn't want someone that inept caring for my kids. As for "priorities," this isn't about learning an extra language for fun, this is about learning the language of the country in which a person lives. In two decades, that's never been a priority?

Regarding recognizing that "all people are different," fine, but WTF is this nanny's excuse? Is she a person with special needs? As I said, if that's the case, she shouldn't be the nanny. Can she not afford a radio? Does she have zero interest in even the most basic form of assimilation? This isn't a 90 year old woman who just moved to the United States from another country, this is a nanny - PAID TO RAISE CHILDREN - who has been here TWENTY YEARS. What if one of the children was hurt and needed to go to the emergency room, and the nanny was completely unable to tell the doctors what had happened? What if someone broke into the home? What if one of the children was there was an issue at school and the nanny needed to rush there to pick up the child and speak with the nurse/principal/etc? Seems pretty irresponsible of the parents to hire her, but then, I wonder about their judgment anyway - wanting to pay someone less for doing a certain job based on that person's lack of ability to speak English is exactly what plantation owners did in California during the Depression - paying Mexican workers far below a living wage and justifying what was barely a step above slavery by saying things like "They're not citizens" and "they don't speak English."

PS: My great-grandparents were no more or less intelligent than any other typical person. When they came to America, countless other immigrants from countries all around the world came too. And they all learned English.

So you think I'm a jerk to think the nanny should learn to speak English? Fine. I'm a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:19, no one is interested in doing your budget for you. Grown ups do their own budgets.

We all had to learn to budget when we made $40k/ year. We believe you can do it, too! Good luck!

No one asked anyone to do their budget for them. You are not reading clearly. I did ask what might a 15/hr monthly budget look like, as I marvel at the ability to support one's self on that in the DC area. For instance, is it enough not to have to share your bedroom?

Funny how one poster said she shares her bedroom with her husband to save money. I hope that's not the only reason she married him!

PP, I don't know who you are as I haven't gone back to reread this thread, but I just spent two years living in Boston on $19,000 a year (it was an AmeriCorps service position) and I did not share a bedroom.

It can be done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your statement that "it is easier to learn a language when you are younger" is laughable in this case. That's true when comparing learning a new language at age 3 to learning a new language at age 17 because toddlers are little sponges, but twenty years is a LONG time to live in a country and not be able to speak the language. My great-grandparents moved to America from Greece when they were in their late thirties, and they managed to speak fluent English within a few years.

Different poster here, but you sound like a jerk.

Sometimes there are cultural reasons adults fail to learn the language of their new country, like when they have a lot of guilt about leaving their homeland and don't want to become "too" American (or English or French or whatever). Sometimes they desperately want to but don't have any built-in opportunities to practice (such as when they live and work with people who speak their native tongue and/or work with young children who don't speak at all) and are shy, intimidated, or too busy to create opportunities to practice outside of their regular daily routine. And other people try and simply cannot do it. I'm very pleased that your great-grandparents were able to learn English when they moved here, and I'm sure you'd also tell us how bright they were, right? Well, not everyone can do that. Please recognize that people are different, people's brains are different, and people's priorities are different.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you outraged, PP? Over and over again, market rates have been shared here. In DC $15/hr for one child, $17/hr or more for 2+.

We get it. You'd like to make more. Fair enough. Show you are worth more. Until you can do that, employers will expect you to work for market rates.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you outraged, PP? Over and over again, market rates have been shared here. In DC $15/hr for one child, $17/hr or more for 2+.

We get it. You'd like to make more. Fair enough. Show you are worth more. Until you can do that, employers will expect you to work for market rates.

Anonymous wrote:With 2 kids, $17/hour for an excellent nanny is fine, but for 1 it's overpaying big time. Just explain to her that you did not want for her to live on less than $17/hour (the truth), but that the going rate for 2 kids is still $17/hour or less so there won't be any raise for a while.

Anonymous wrote:
Your statement that "it is easier to learn a language when you are younger" is laughable in this case. That's true when comparing learning a new language at age 3 to learning a new language at age 17 because toddlers are little sponges, but twenty years is a LONG time to live in a country and not be able to speak the language. My great-grandparents moved to America from Greece when they were in their late thirties, and they managed to speak fluent English within a few years.