nannydebsays
04/04/2013 15:11
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nannydeb I sincerely hope you were being sarcastic. If you were not being sarcastic then I have seriously lost all of the respect that I once had for you. I'm sure you don't care but I felt the need to say it.
I was shocked by this also. Nannydeb is usually one of the sane, rational, helpful voices on the forum. This seems so out of character.
Oh gosh, I was absolutely being sarcastic! I thought I'd tossed a eye roll icon up, but now I see that I didn't.
I was trying (and apparently failing) to make an obviously sarcastic comment riffing off the "blame all the fat people" line running through this thread.
Sorry!
Anonymous
04/04/2013 13:50
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
Anonymous wrote:Nannydeb I sincerely hope you were being sarcastic. If you were not being sarcastic then I have seriously lost all of the respect that I once had for you. I'm sure you don't care but I felt the need to say it.
I was shocked by this also. Nannydeb is usually one of the sane, rational, helpful voices on the forum. This seems so out of character.
Anonymous
04/04/2013 13:10
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
Nannydeb I sincerely hope you were being sarcastic. If you were not being sarcastic then I have seriously lost all of the respect that I once had for you. I'm sure you don't care but I felt the need to say it.
Anonymous
04/04/2013 12:59
Subject: Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
We hired an extremely overweight, probably technically obese nanny, because she was the best candidate for the job and best match for our family. We had another nanny candidate who was quite athletic etc but she was a bit too much of a prima donna.
Our nanny was more active with the kids than anyone was before or has been since, walking everywhere, playing soccer, etc. She also made healthy food choices around the kids. I know she struggled with her eating habits on her own time, but when she was at work her weight never caused an issue. I don't think it's right to rule out a candidate purely on the basis of weight - you may be doing everyone involved a great disservice.
Our nanny was more active with the kids than anyone was before or has been since, walking everywhere, playing soccer, etc. She also made healthy food choices around the kids. I know she struggled with her eating habits on her own time, but when she was at work her weight never caused an issue. I don't think it's right to rule out a candidate purely on the basis of weight - you may be doing everyone involved a great disservice.
Anonymous
04/04/2013 09:37
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
Anonymous wrote:"1) Hating on skinny nannies isn't going to make fatter ones look better, of course there's lazy thin nannies but most would rather take a chance before hiring an overweight/obese nanny. "
I do not hate skinny nannies or skinny people for that matter since I am a very athletic and skinny mom and believe me, I really care about my children's eating habits. Still, I do not judge people based on their physical appearance; specially women who already have to face gender discrimination. Plus, I make sure I read as much as I can about it since I want to ensure that my children will not grow up thinking overweight/obese people are worse than the scum of the earth.
"2) MOST overweight/obese people get that way because of unhealthy eating and lack of exercise. Of course theres always an excuse but just because a tiny percentage might have a thyroid problem, doesn't take away from the fact that 95% have unhealthy habits. "
Do you even read about the subject? Not talking about Fox News, but actually scholarly journals? Research papers or the like? For you to judge the circumstances of a family you need to make sure you have the right arguments. There are a lot of factors that can cause obesity, not only thyroid. Have you checked the demographics and where obesity is most concentrated? So go read a little bit about it.
I am pretty sure you are familiar with price difference, that is, the cost of healthy vs junk food. Not to mention families who have to struggle and provide for a big family. Not everybody is lucky enough to be like us moms who have time to come to a message board and create a topic just to very nicely alert nannies that now weight is something fundamental when trying to apply for a job.
Like it has been mentioned here, the person who started this new the answer right away and did not need to ask if she should call the second potential candidate. The mother in question just wanted to use this excuse to express her indignity with somebody who is looking for a job.
"Bla bla bla..... unhealthy slob."
My goodness. The only difference between a skinny woman who smokes, drinks or use drugs and carries many STDs and an overweight/obese one is that the latter is going to be discriminated because it is a trend today. Because being healthy these days is much more related to external beauty rather than actual facts.
Very well said.
Anonymous
04/03/2013 17:34
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
"1) Hating on skinny nannies isn't going to make fatter ones look better, of course there's lazy thin nannies but most would rather take a chance before hiring an overweight/obese nanny. "
I do not hate skinny nannies or skinny people for that matter since I am a very athletic and skinny mom and believe me, I really care about my children's eating habits. Still, I do not judge people based on their physical appearance; specially women who already have to face gender discrimination. Plus, I make sure I read as much as I can about it since I want to ensure that my children will not grow up thinking overweight/obese people are worse than the scum of the earth.
"2) MOST overweight/obese people get that way because of unhealthy eating and lack of exercise. Of course theres always an excuse but just because a tiny percentage might have a thyroid problem, doesn't take away from the fact that 95% have unhealthy habits. "
Do you even read about the subject? Not talking about Fox News, but actually scholarly journals? Research papers or the like? For you to judge the circumstances of a family you need to make sure you have the right arguments. There are a lot of factors that can cause obesity, not only thyroid. Have you checked the demographics and where obesity is most concentrated? So go read a little bit about it.
I am pretty sure you are familiar with price difference, that is, the cost of healthy vs junk food. Not to mention families who have to struggle and provide for a big family. Not everybody is lucky enough to be like us moms who have time to come to a message board and create a topic just to very nicely alert nannies that now weight is something fundamental when trying to apply for a job.
Like it has been mentioned here, the person who started this new the answer right away and did not need to ask if she should call the second potential candidate. The mother in question just wanted to use this excuse to express her indignity with somebody who is looking for a job.
"Bla bla bla..... unhealthy slob."
My goodness. The only difference between a skinny woman who smokes, drinks or use drugs and carries many STDs and an overweight/obese one is that the latter is going to be discriminated because it is a trend today. Because being healthy these days is much more related to external beauty rather than actual facts.
I do not hate skinny nannies or skinny people for that matter since I am a very athletic and skinny mom and believe me, I really care about my children's eating habits. Still, I do not judge people based on their physical appearance; specially women who already have to face gender discrimination. Plus, I make sure I read as much as I can about it since I want to ensure that my children will not grow up thinking overweight/obese people are worse than the scum of the earth.
"2) MOST overweight/obese people get that way because of unhealthy eating and lack of exercise. Of course theres always an excuse but just because a tiny percentage might have a thyroid problem, doesn't take away from the fact that 95% have unhealthy habits. "
Do you even read about the subject? Not talking about Fox News, but actually scholarly journals? Research papers or the like? For you to judge the circumstances of a family you need to make sure you have the right arguments. There are a lot of factors that can cause obesity, not only thyroid. Have you checked the demographics and where obesity is most concentrated? So go read a little bit about it.
I am pretty sure you are familiar with price difference, that is, the cost of healthy vs junk food. Not to mention families who have to struggle and provide for a big family. Not everybody is lucky enough to be like us moms who have time to come to a message board and create a topic just to very nicely alert nannies that now weight is something fundamental when trying to apply for a job.
Like it has been mentioned here, the person who started this new the answer right away and did not need to ask if she should call the second potential candidate. The mother in question just wanted to use this excuse to express her indignity with somebody who is looking for a job.
"Bla bla bla..... unhealthy slob."
My goodness. The only difference between a skinny woman who smokes, drinks or use drugs and carries many STDs and an overweight/obese one is that the latter is going to be discriminated because it is a trend today. Because being healthy these days is much more related to external beauty rather than actual facts.
Anonymous
04/03/2013 17:05
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
I used to be an "obese nanny". I was lucky enough to get hired by an amazing family in Virginia for a live-in position about a year and a half ago. They flew me to meet them on a weekend and I was so worried that they would judge me because of my weight but they didn't. I was with them for a year and being there, helped me change my life. I cared for their infant and toddler and made it a goal to change my life around. I took the kids for 3 mile walks daily and every night, would go on the elliptical in their basement. In 6 months, I lost 65 pounds and completely changed my life around! I am happy that the family took the chance on me and didn't judge me because of my weight. They called my references, found out I was amazing with all my past charges and NEVER mentioned anything about my weight. Even though I had been overweight, I was ALWAYS active with the kids I cared for. I never just sat on the couch and let them play. We'd go outside daily, walk around the zoo, dance and be silly, etc. JUST because a nanny is overweight, does not mean she is lazy or a slob. I totally understand why a family might not want to hire a nanny who is overweight (especially if they have toddlers who are very active) but I don't think that a persons weight should be a automatic NO. Have them come back to spend a couple of hours with the kids and see how they are about dancing around, going outside, etc. Call past references and see what they say....don't just ASSUME they are lazy.
Anonymous
04/03/2013 16:39
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
Anonymous wrote:"If someone can't take care of themselves, how do you think they will take care of your kids?"
Oh yeah, because all obese mothers and fathers in the world are the worst right? And the skinny ones are the best? Jesus Christ.
"I completely understand why you would want a healthy nanny. A healthy nanny can be more active w/your kids and will also most likely encourage eating healthy foods, etc."
Had to laugh hard at this. I have seen many skinny/fit nannies/mothers/guardians/whathaveyou in parks playing with their phones or gossiping with other skinny women while watching overweight people having a blast with kids the way they can.
In addition, many skinny moms are more worried about exercising and keeping their body in shape which leaves them no time for cooking. Therefore, they drive through junk food and take kids to the park. I have witnessed MANY athletic moms do that.
Moreover, why do people tend to think overweight/obese people only eat junk? Have you people not heard about hormonal diseases specially in women that cause them to gain weight? Or that make it harder for them to lose weight? Seriously...
Have you even read the comments? Everything you said was already talked about.
1) Hating on skinny nannies isn't going to make fatter ones look better, of course there's lazy thin nannies but most would rather take a chance before hiring an overweight/obese nanny.
2) MOST overweight/obese people get that way because of unhealthy eating and lack of exercise. Of course theres always an excuse but just because a tiny percentage might have a thyroid problem, doesn't take away from the fact that 95% have unhealthy habits.
If someone is paying top dollar they're not gonna want to take chances with a unhealthy slob.
Anonymous
04/03/2013 16:01
Subject: Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
Anonymous wrote:OP Here - I already responded back the other day regarding my reasons. I am very sorry if I came across as judgemental or ignorant (like some have stated). I have nothing wrong with overweight people in general, just in the childcare field.
I didn't think so many people would get offended so again, I'm sorry.
OP, that's fine, but seriously why did you even include the part about the potential nanny's weight? Would the answer have been any different if your perfect over-the-phone nanny was perfect in-person but declined your offer? you'd be in the same position as you are now. You didn't need to include that you declined her because of her size - you could have said - after our interview we didn't make an offer to our first choice - can I call the runner up and make an offer? Sounds to me like you wanted to cause trouble.
nannydebsays
04/03/2013 15:52
Subject: Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
PP, don't you know PCOS is just an excuse? And Insulin Resistance? It's a big old lie fat people tell to make themselves feel better!
Anonymous
04/03/2013 15:44
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
"If someone can't take care of themselves, how do you think they will take care of your kids?"
Oh yeah, because all obese mothers and fathers in the world are the worst right? And the skinny ones are the best? Jesus Christ.
"I completely understand why you would want a healthy nanny. A healthy nanny can be more active w/your kids and will also most likely encourage eating healthy foods, etc."
Had to laugh hard at this. I have seen many skinny/fit nannies/mothers/guardians/whathaveyou in parks playing with their phones or gossiping with other skinny women while watching overweight people having a blast with kids the way they can.
In addition, many skinny moms are more worried about exercising and keeping their body in shape which leaves them no time for cooking. Therefore, they drive through junk food and take kids to the park. I have witnessed MANY athletic moms do that.
Moreover, why do people tend to think overweight/obese people only eat junk? Have you people not heard about hormonal diseases specially in women that cause them to gain weight? Or that make it harder for them to lose weight? Seriously...
Oh yeah, because all obese mothers and fathers in the world are the worst right? And the skinny ones are the best? Jesus Christ.
"I completely understand why you would want a healthy nanny. A healthy nanny can be more active w/your kids and will also most likely encourage eating healthy foods, etc."
Had to laugh hard at this. I have seen many skinny/fit nannies/mothers/guardians/whathaveyou in parks playing with their phones or gossiping with other skinny women while watching overweight people having a blast with kids the way they can.
In addition, many skinny moms are more worried about exercising and keeping their body in shape which leaves them no time for cooking. Therefore, they drive through junk food and take kids to the park. I have witnessed MANY athletic moms do that.
Moreover, why do people tend to think overweight/obese people only eat junk? Have you people not heard about hormonal diseases specially in women that cause them to gain weight? Or that make it harder for them to lose weight? Seriously...
Anonymous
04/03/2013 15:31
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
It is so funny to read over and over and over and over and over and over that overweight and obese people cannot be reliable because they can have a heart attack. I think that people should research more about the subject instead of only reading about celebrities.
You do not want to hire the nanny because of her weight? You have the right not to. However, do not forget that skinny nannies could have many problems too such as diabetes, blood pressure, and many other illnesses. Not to mention that they can be smokers and/heavy drinkers (which also puts them at risk of heart attacks and the like). So, your behavior is much of a person being purely judgmental.
If you were actually a respectable mother, you would read more about the subject before discriminating the candidate. I am sorry for your children that will probably grow up to be fatphobics.
You do not want to hire the nanny because of her weight? You have the right not to. However, do not forget that skinny nannies could have many problems too such as diabetes, blood pressure, and many other illnesses. Not to mention that they can be smokers and/heavy drinkers (which also puts them at risk of heart attacks and the like). So, your behavior is much of a person being purely judgmental.
If you were actually a respectable mother, you would read more about the subject before discriminating the candidate. I am sorry for your children that will probably grow up to be fatphobics.
Anonymous
03/31/2013 13:13
Subject: Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
Losing weight is hard!! You know what else is hard?? Maintaining a weight loss. I work much harder to keep the weight off than I did to lose it..i have to be vigilant. I spend a lot of time planning my exercise and portioning my food. I would rather be doing other things but it's important to me. I also attend weekly weight loss meetings even though I am at my goal...it's hard for everyone..very few people can just eat what they want and gain..it all catches up.
Anonymous
03/31/2013 12:26
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
1:08 Your a fucking bitch! I would rather be a little overweight and struggle to lose it than be a big huge bitch that obviously thinks everything is black and white. It's not just as simple as exercise and eat healthy and lose weight like it is for so many. Go crawl back in your black and white hole you came out of.
Anonymous
03/31/2013 01:08
Subject: Re:Politely declined potential nanny due to her size
Anonymous wrote:I hope so very many of you get fat so I can laugh in your faces. I especially hope that you develop PCOS and a thyroid issue so it's really really hard to lose the weight and then I can laugh all the harder while you bitches cry about it.
You can sit there and eat your ice cream and wish fatness on everyone else all you want. When it comes down to it, those who are willing to eat right and exercise and not put absolute trash into our bodies every day will remain thin...whether you like it or not. So eat up, sweetheart. Wishing fatness on others won't make you thin. How about you go for a run or something.