Anonymous wrote:And yes, given how some things have been misconstrued I am feeling a bit defensive.

Again, thank you to those who suggested ideas and changes that were helpful.

Anonymous wrote: The OP has not commented on my suggestion to have the grandparents involved more often, or more financially. Surely they must know/see you are in a bind? Can they send more money (for a housekeeper?) or can they visit more often (to relieve the AP of some very demanding responsibilities? Flying in frequently for short trips is expensive but what if they came for 2 or more weeks at a time and relieved the AP of 10 or so hours per week for a short time?

When my sister's scumbag ex- husband refused to pay much child support, I went out and got a 2nd job specifically to send her the money. I mention this just to illustrate that someone in the family must be concerned enough to jump in with time, effort, or money. My father put off his retirement for 5 years so he could start a college fund for his grandchild.

I know the OP has sole physical custody, but are the other grandparents allowed to be involved at all?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: My impression is that this single mom is doing the best she can with the resources she has. Those who don't have a SN child, have a partner to share the responsibilities with, and have professional nanny care should NOT be so critical. We also worked our APs hard, but it was not an impediment to their having a great year, meeting life long friends, and having a strong bond with us and our children that has lasted for decades. That said, if she can free up the AP on most weekends, you'll be giving AP the opportunity to recharge on the weekend which is important.

Then OP needs to make some decisions on what is really important. I mean she got mad at AP for going to Cosco. And she wants her to do laundry while the sn child is having in home ABA. But wants her to relay what happens in the child therapies. And spend hours on meal prep-I have a large family and dont' spend as much time on meals as OP has in her plan.

Anonymous wrote:NP: My impression is that this single mom is doing the best she can with the resources she has. Those who don't have a SN child, have a partner to share the responsibilities with, and have professional nanny care should NOT be so critical. We also worked our APs hard, but it was not an impediment to their having a great year, meeting life long friends, and having a strong bond with us and our children that has lasted for decades. That said, if she can free up the AP on most weekends, you'll be giving AP the opportunity to recharge on the weekend which is important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP who was a first time HM a few years ago with the meal plan.

I write out the meals for the month around the last week of the prior month. I may leave some blank and ask AP if she has any favorites or if she saw a recipe she wanted me to try. I pencil her in on her day to cook (that we had already agreed on) and on the other days i list out the dinners. I leave lunches and snacks up to her unless she asks me to choose. She includes those items on her grocery list to me.
If i can't understand what something is or i can't find it i let her know so she can substitute or so we can order online.

I like to keep family favorites like lasagne but add in at least 1-2 new meals each month to try. Meal planning saves us money on groceries becuase i know i can use the chicken for 2 meals that week or make a double batch of something on Monday to use again on Friday (like ground beef or homemade chicken stock).
It saves me time becuase i can prep what i can for the week on Sunday since all groceries are bought and i know what i am making all week.
It saves stress during the week because i take into account classes and practices when planning the menu. On game nights we may do Tacos or BLTs and chips. I know that ahead of time so no eating out or rushing to prepare a meal afterward.

It works out great for us and we will keep doing it until it no longer works. I love that the AP cooked one night per week because it was always something from her home country and i loved trying new foods and the kids loved it as well. She loved it because she would skyp with her mom while cooking as her mom was a MUCH better cook than she was and would give her tips/advice during it. You could tell it was a real bonding experience for the both of them and we enjoyed seeing her mom 'teach' her how to cook for us and she enjoyed seeing us enjoy her family recipes.

I am the PP who asked about this! This is amazing, how can you plan for a month?? It seems like it would be hard to do ? How often do you grocery shop? Thanks for sharing this!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP, what new perks and schedule changes are you going to make after all this?

OP here. First change is I will think harder on it before asking the internetz for feedback! Shew!

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP who was a first time HM a few years ago with the meal plan.

I write out the meals for the month around the last week of the prior month. I may leave some blank and ask AP if she has any favorites or if she saw a recipe she wanted me to try. I pencil her in on her day to cook (that we had already agreed on) and on the other days i list out the dinners. I leave lunches and snacks up to her unless she asks me to choose. She includes those items on her grocery list to me.
If i can't understand what something is or i can't find it i let her know so she can substitute or so we can order online.

I like to keep family favorites like lasagne but add in at least 1-2 new meals each month to try. Meal planning saves us money on groceries becuase i know i can use the chicken for 2 meals that week or make a double batch of something on Monday to use again on Friday (like ground beef or homemade chicken stock).
It saves me time becuase i can prep what i can for the week on Sunday since all groceries are bought and i know what i am making all week.
It saves stress during the week because i take into account classes and practices when planning the menu. On game nights we may do Tacos or BLTs and chips. I know that ahead of time so no eating out or rushing to prepare a meal afterward.

It works out great for us and we will keep doing it until it no longer works. I love that the AP cooked one night per week because it was always something from her home country and i loved trying new foods and the kids loved it as well. She loved it because she would skyp with her mom while cooking as her mom was a MUCH better cook than she was and would give her tips/advice during it. You could tell it was a real bonding experience for the both of them and we enjoyed seeing her mom 'teach' her how to cook for us and she enjoyed seeing us enjoy her family recipes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP, what new perks and schedule changes are you going to make after all this?

OP here. First change is I will think harder on it before asking the internetz for feedback! Shew!

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP who was a first time HM a few years ago with the meal plan.

I write out the meals for the month around the last week of the prior month. I may leave some blank and ask AP if she has any favorites or if she saw a recipe she wanted me to try. I pencil her in on her day to cook (that we had already agreed on) and on the other days i list out the dinners. I leave lunches and snacks up to her unless she asks me to choose. She includes those items on her grocery list to me.
If i can't understand what something is or i can't find it i let her know so she can substitute or so we can order online.

I like to keep family favorites like lasagne but add in at least 1-2 new meals each month to try. Meal planning saves us money on groceries becuase i know i can use the chicken for 2 meals that week or make a double batch of something on Monday to use again on Friday (like ground beef or homemade chicken stock).
It saves me time becuase i can prep what i can for the week on Sunday since all groceries are bought and i know what i am making all week.
It saves stress during the week because i take into account classes and practices when planning the menu. On game nights we may do Tacos or BLTs and chips. I know that ahead of time so no eating out or rushing to prepare a meal afterward.

It works out great for us and we will keep doing it until it no longer works. I love that the AP cooked one night per week because it was always something from her home country and i loved trying new foods and the kids loved it as well. She loved it because she would skyp with her mom while cooking as her mom was a MUCH better cook than she was and would give her tips/advice during it. You could tell it was a real bonding experience for the both of them and we enjoyed seeing her mom 'teach' her how to cook for us and she enjoyed seeing us enjoy her family recipes.