Anonymous
10/20/2024 17:22
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
Anonymous wrote:I have been w/my current NF for about 7mos.
Dealbreakers or not?
• Even though they text me an hr or so beforehand, 95% of the time they end up coming home 30-60 min. after my end time.
Yes they let me know ahead of time (while I am working) as well as compensate me (as they should!) but still….
• I am not allowed any screen time which is their instructions while I am there - yet when I arrive + before I leave they always have the television on.
• The 2 1/2 yr. old little girl needs me to lay down w/her for about a half hr or she will not fall asleep/nap.
• They do not always pay me on time.
->> I tried to let them know that I would quit - but the Mom tearfully confided in me that I was now a part of their family & said she didn’t trust just anyone watching her daughter, etc.
(I came to them by word-of-mouth from a family member.)
So I felt guilty and stayed.
I’M SORRY you have to go through this; too many red flags for me to consider staying employed by this family. Payment must be on time at all times, hopefully they’re using a payroll company as the payment is never delayed. I can love a family/ employer but no sentiments/feelings are attached to my work and if mom says she just can’t trust anyone watching her children is NOT your fault and you should never ever feel guilty of this. That’s mom being dramatic and she needs to learn how to overcome that. Best wishes
However the resentment is eating me up.
Anonymous
10/20/2024 02:07
Subject: Re:Relatively New Job Queries
I would only use the tv when I need to keep the child occupied because my hands are needed to do other stuff.
Like I turn on the tv when I need to clean up after a meal or fold and put away the children’s laundry.
Speak to your bosses, they likely wouldn’t mind if you used it when needed.
I have been a nanny for over 2 decades and have never had a family tell me that I cannot put on any tv at all.
They will usually ask me not to have it on for more than say….45 minute increments.
If the tv is on when you are not there then the parents likely are not “no-screen” parents.
They probably would not mind if you use screen time in moderation.
Like I turn on the tv when I need to clean up after a meal or fold and put away the children’s laundry.
Speak to your bosses, they likely wouldn’t mind if you used it when needed.
I have been a nanny for over 2 decades and have never had a family tell me that I cannot put on any tv at all.
They will usually ask me not to have it on for more than say….45 minute increments.
If the tv is on when you are not there then the parents likely are not “no-screen” parents.
They probably would not mind if you use screen time in moderation.
Anonymous
10/19/2024 14:05
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The screen time thing is fair. Not paying you on time is unacceptable.
I agree. In most situations. However if a Nannie is instructed to not have the t.v. on while working yet the t.v. can be on when the parents are home then this setup is confusing for the child.
Because both parents and Nannie’s have to be on the same page regarding rules and the child’s care. It is wholly unfair to have different rules in effect depending on who is in charge of the child.
+1 Everyone needs to be on the same page regarding rules for said child.
Anonymous
10/17/2024 23:08
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
Anonymous wrote:The screen time thing is fair. Not paying you on time is unacceptable.
I agree. In most situations. However if a Nannie is instructed to not have the t.v. on while working yet the t.v. can be on when the parents are home then this setup is confusing for the child.
Because both parents and Nannie’s have to be on the same page regarding rules and the child’s care. It is wholly unfair to have different rules in effect depending on who is in charge of the child.
Anonymous
10/17/2024 15:55
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
The screen time thing is fair. Not paying you on time is unacceptable.
Anonymous
10/17/2024 08:46
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
Anonymous wrote:PP, how much exactly would be high enough?
PP Here, probably somewhere in the $45/HR range if I had to deal with all of these nonsensical rules.
No TV time at all?
Lying down with my charge just so he can fall asleep?
This is too much.
Anonymous
10/16/2024 19:00
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
PP, how much exactly would be high enough?
Anonymous
10/16/2024 05:13
Subject: Re:Relatively New Job Queries
My number one pet peeve is parents who do not allow their children’s caretakers to watch any television while on duty - yet allow television time when the caretaker is no longer in the home. What kind of rule is this?
Because parents along with their caretakers need to always be on the same page as enforcers and disciplinarians.
The child mentioned needs to be sleep trained.
No child should need another person to lay down with them in order to fall asleep.
The family is not a good family to work with or even for.
Not fair at all.
I would only continue on with them if the pay was very high.
Because parents along with their caretakers need to always be on the same page as enforcers and disciplinarians.
The child mentioned needs to be sleep trained.
No child should need another person to lay down with them in order to fall asleep.
The family is not a good family to work with or even for.
Not fair at all.
I would only continue on with them if the pay was very high.
Anonymous
10/15/2024 06:24
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
Anonymous wrote:If you don’t mind staying late for extra pay then have them permanently adjust your hours. So just work til 7 instead of 6 or whatever. If you do mind, then make it very clear to them you need to get off at your agreed upon time.
The sleeping with the 2yo needs to stop. You should be able to do this.
How long is your work day? The no screens at all seems a lot. I rarely use screens but wouldn’t have taken a job where they said full on no.
My workday fluctuates from 6-9 hrs depending.
OP
Anonymous
10/15/2024 06:22
Subject: Re:Relatively New Job Queries
OP Here, Thx for the helpful responses! 
Anonymous
10/14/2024 07:52
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
If you don’t mind staying late for extra pay then have them permanently adjust your hours. So just work til 7 instead of 6 or whatever. If you do mind, then make it very clear to them you need to get off at your agreed upon time.
The sleeping with the 2yo needs to stop. You should be able to do this.
How long is your work day? The no screens at all seems a lot. I rarely use screens but wouldn’t have taken a job where they said full on no.
The sleeping with the 2yo needs to stop. You should be able to do this.
How long is your work day? The no screens at all seems a lot. I rarely use screens but wouldn’t have taken a job where they said full on no.
Anonymous
10/13/2024 23:29
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
Find a new job. You can talk to them about it.
Anonymous
10/13/2024 11:43
Subject: Relatively New Job Queries
I have been w/my current NF for about 7mos.
Dealbreakers or not?
• Even though they text me an hr or so beforehand, 95% of the time they end up coming home 30-60 min. after my end time.
Yes they let me know ahead of time (while I am working) as well as compensate me (as they should!) but still….
• I am not allowed any screen time which is their instructions while I am there - yet when I arrive + before I leave they always have the television on.
• The 2 1/2 yr. old little girl needs me to lay down w/her for about a half hr or she will not fall asleep/nap.
• They do not always pay me on time.
->> I tried to let them know that I would quit - but the Mom tearfully confided in me that I was now a part of their family & said she didn’t trust just anyone watching her daughter, etc.
(I came to them by word-of-mouth from a family member.)
So I felt guilty and stayed.
However the resentment is eating me up.
Dealbreakers or not?
• Even though they text me an hr or so beforehand, 95% of the time they end up coming home 30-60 min. after my end time.
Yes they let me know ahead of time (while I am working) as well as compensate me (as they should!) but still….
• I am not allowed any screen time which is their instructions while I am there - yet when I arrive + before I leave they always have the television on.
• The 2 1/2 yr. old little girl needs me to lay down w/her for about a half hr or she will not fall asleep/nap.
• They do not always pay me on time.
->> I tried to let them know that I would quit - but the Mom tearfully confided in me that I was now a part of their family & said she didn’t trust just anyone watching her daughter, etc.
(I came to them by word-of-mouth from a family member.)
So I felt guilty and stayed.
However the resentment is eating me up.