Anonymous wrote:Do you pay $400 per week? I’m sorry maybe I misunderstanding. Do you have extraordinaire? We are paying $250 per week. Sorry not trying to nitpick your comment!

I think PP meant a week's pay per year she has been with you. So 2 years = 2 week's pay as a bonus, aka $400 if you are paying the minimum weekly stipend.

Do you pay $400 per week? I’m sorry maybe I misunderstanding. Do you have extraordinaire? We are paying $250 per week. Sorry not trying to nitpick your comment!

And as someone said, standard is a week’s pay per year, so $400. I would give more to someone I describe as “amazing” with my kids and “does a great job” and has been doing it for 2 years but it sounds like you don’t even want to give her that.

If she’s amazing with your kids, why do you care if she “likes” YOU? It’s not really about you, it’s about your kids. She has done “amazing” with them and should be compensated according to the way she has done her job. I think you’re letting your ego get in the way. And no, I’m not an au pair or a nanny, which everyone accuses everyone of.

Anonymous wrote:Is she traveling around the US before heading home to her country? If so, maybe $300. If not, something else.

Keep in mind that it's a defense mechanism to find fault with people you have to leave, so it hurts less when you leave them.

Agree with this.

We had an au pair like this. Was super helpful and integrated well into our family. As her year drew to an end she became increasingly difficult, so much so that I even considered rematch with only 1 months left. It was very bizarre and hurtful at the time, but looking back this explanation made sense.

All things considered, she did a great job with the kids, so we tried to focus on that and gave her the usual bonus we'd give to other good au pairs.

Don't take it personally. Even the older au pairs can still be immature and act like teenagers at times. The best au pairs we've had are all super independent and emotionally detached from us.

Our second au pair was like this. I think we did $150 plus a gift? I think this is pretty subjective, ultimately it is a gift, kind of like how you might spend more for a wedding gift for a close friend vs a coworker.

A weeks pay per year is usually standard but not mandatory.

Is she traveling around the US before heading home to her country? If so, maybe $300. If not, something else.

Keep in mind that it's a defense mechanism to find fault with people you have to leave, so it hurts less when you leave them.

Hi All,

This is my first au pair, and she has been with us two years. She’s been amazing with the kids, and our relationship is cordial, but we’re not really close. As it gets closer to her leaving, she sorta makes it more clear she doesn’t really like us. She has her reasons, but there are two sides to every story, and I’ve put a ton of work and money into our relationship for it to go pretty much unappreciated. It’s a bummer, because I don’t think I’ll be going into the next au pair with the same outlook. But, she’s professional around the kids and does a great job with them. So, in a situation like that, what’s a good two year final bonus? I have no idea what people pay nowadays.