Anonymous
06/07/2023 16:52
Subject: Re:Awkward situation between nannies
Wow this child’s Nanny has some strong jealousy issues!
OP you have not crossed any boundaries yet this Nanny is behaving like this….??!
I would definitely speak to the child’s parents on how strange this Nanny is behaving.
I doubt they would want someone who has such “ issues” watching their child!
I know I wouldn’t!!
OP you have not crossed any boundaries yet this Nanny is behaving like this….??!
I would definitely speak to the child’s parents on how strange this Nanny is behaving.
I doubt they would want someone who has such “ issues” watching their child!
I know I wouldn’t!!
Anonymous
05/19/2023 19:17
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
OP here again and 14:21 I just reread your script and I think that is what I will say in some form the next time we see each other.
Anonymous
05/19/2023 19:15
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
To continue you have been helpful in terms of me trying to understand this (I've been a nanny for many years and worked, played and made friends with other nannies and their charges and I've never encountered a situation like this. We all just play and live together happily.)
Anonymous
05/19/2023 19:13
Subject: Re:Awkward situation between nannies
OP here and thanks. This actually never occurred to me because we've both been with our families for quite awhile. But if she is looking for weekend hours why would the family ask me? I'm sure I don't charge less then she would. Get rid of her???? Would she actually think that. I know the family and they would never do anything like that. And as you mentioned I am very happy in my position and not looking for a change. I don't want her to feel insecure but I also don't want to have to modify our schedule so we don't run into them. I don't think that's fair.Anonymous wrote:You know this. She is feeling insecure. She is worried that she will lose hours (or maybe already has because she would have preferred to have the weekend overtime) or that they will like you enough to get rid of her. It seems like she has been with the family a while, so there has to be some nerves about being replaced.
You could try to just name the elephant in the room. "I don't want to assume anything you are feeling, but I did want to let you know. I am VERY happy with my current family and have no intention of leaving them at any time. I weekend babysit to ... [pay off car loan, have money to travel, name a thing], but I am not scouting for new or alternative jobs. I do enjoy sitting for Larla on the weekend, so I will always say hello and be warm to them when I see them, but my focus is on my charge."
She will be defensive and fussy at that time, but that may help her let it go after that encounter.
I can't see how involving the parents will help -- what are they going to say "be nice to the other nanny?" -- unless you do want to get her fired. Because telling them will only lead to further beliefs that you are trying to undermine her.
Anonymous
05/19/2023 14:21
Subject: Re:Awkward situation between nannies
You know this. She is feeling insecure. She is worried that she will lose hours (or maybe already has because she would have preferred to have the weekend overtime) or that they will like you enough to get rid of her. It seems like she has been with the family a while, so there has to be some nerves about being replaced.
You could try to just name the elephant in the room. "I don't want to assume anything you are feeling, but I did want to let you know. I am VERY happy with my current family and have no intention of leaving them at any time. I weekend babysit to ... [pay off car loan, have money to travel, name a thing], but I am not scouting for new or alternative jobs. I do enjoy sitting for Larla on the weekend, so I will always say hello and be warm to them when I see them, but my focus is on my charge."
She will be defensive and fussy at that time, but that may help her let it go after that encounter.
I can't see how involving the parents will help -- what are they going to say "be nice to the other nanny?" -- unless you do want to get her fired. Because telling them will only lead to further beliefs that you are trying to undermine her.
You could try to just name the elephant in the room. "I don't want to assume anything you are feeling, but I did want to let you know. I am VERY happy with my current family and have no intention of leaving them at any time. I weekend babysit to ... [pay off car loan, have money to travel, name a thing], but I am not scouting for new or alternative jobs. I do enjoy sitting for Larla on the weekend, so I will always say hello and be warm to them when I see them, but my focus is on my charge."
She will be defensive and fussy at that time, but that may help her let it go after that encounter.
I can't see how involving the parents will help -- what are they going to say "be nice to the other nanny?" -- unless you do want to get her fired. Because telling them will only lead to further beliefs that you are trying to undermine her.
Anonymous
05/19/2023 13:45
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
OP here and I thought of that. I’m pretty sure that the nanny has not said anything to the parents so this would be the first of them hearing about it. Again I don’t want to tattle (her behavior at a neighborhood park this week was disconcerting.) She became pretty angry when I said I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to do and actually tried to engage other nannies at the park about the issue. Of course they just nodded their heads and looked at her like she was crazy. It was embarrassing uncomfortable and very unprofessional on her part.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't want to do that as it might get the nanny in trouble.Anonymous wrote:Talk to the parent.
NP
You don't have to tattle. Leave it open ended. "Hi - I'm wondering how you'd like me to handle it when I see Larla during the week. I'm nannying for Jenny down the street, and sometimes we run into Larla at activities and parks. I don't want it to be confusing for her or to undermine your regular nanny. What would be the best approach here? Would it be best to try to keep my distance?"
And see what they say.
Anonymous
05/19/2023 11:55
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
Anonymous wrote:Don't want to do that as it might get the nanny in trouble.Anonymous wrote:Talk to the parent.
NP
You don't have to tattle. Leave it open ended. "Hi - I'm wondering how you'd like me to handle it when I see Larla during the week. I'm nannying for Jenny down the street, and sometimes we run into Larla at activities and parks. I don't want it to be confusing for her or to undermine your regular nanny. What would be the best approach here? Would it be best to try to keep my distance?"
And see what they say.
Anonymous
05/19/2023 07:36
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
Don't want to do that as it might get the nanny in trouble.Anonymous wrote:Talk to the parent.
Anonymous
05/18/2023 22:38
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
Anonymous wrote:We can't avoid them. Next question.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Pretty much doing that so far but how to handle someone up in your face in a public play groud?Anonymous wrote:Take the high road. Smile and move on, focus on your duties
Maybe go to a different play ground? Or now that it’s warm outside go somewhere else to avoid them
I’m sure it’s her and not you…
Anonymous
05/18/2023 21:13
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
Talk to the parent.
Anonymous
05/18/2023 20:44
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
We can't avoid them. Next question.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Pretty much doing that so far but how to handle someone up in your face in a public play groud?Anonymous wrote:Take the high road. Smile and move on, focus on your duties
Maybe go to a different play ground? Or now that it’s warm outside go somewhere else to avoid them
Anonymous
05/18/2023 20:38
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
Anonymous wrote:Pretty much doing that so far but how to handle someone up in your face in a public play groud?Anonymous wrote:Take the high road. Smile and move on, focus on your duties
Maybe go to a different play ground? Or now that it’s warm outside go somewhere else to avoid them
Anonymous
05/18/2023 20:33
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
Pretty much doing that so far but how to handle someone up in your face in a public play groud?Anonymous wrote:Take the high road. Smile and move on, focus on your duties
Anonymous
05/18/2023 20:10
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
Take the high road. Smile and move on, focus on your duties
Anonymous
05/18/2023 18:44
Subject: Awkward situation between nannies
I'll try to make this brief but understandable. I am a nanny who has a weekday job with a family that happens to be located near another family for whom I do frequent weekend (date night) babysitting. My weekday charge and I have been running into the child I see sometimes on the weekend and when the weekend child greets me or says hi their nanny gets upset. We are coincidentally in a play group together and whenever the child tries to speak or engage with me their nanny berates the child and asks me to keep away. I refuse to ignore the child but I am always focused on my primary child. But also don't want to undermine the weekend child's primary caregiver (for several years). Any thoughts on how to navigate this situation ?