Anonymous wrote:Do u work at home? Why don’t you say “ what happened to Larlas clothes?” When you see it happen? This almost falls under micro managing so be careful. An 18mo s be able to sit and eat for 15-20 mins.

OP here,

My office is in the basement. I try to take my lunch break with my daughter and so far it’s has been very dramatic. I don’t interfere with nanny rules and try my best not to be in the way. Kitchen is big enough for all of us but my husband has advised me to eat my lunch in my office. I have for the past three weeks and my baby is still in diaper during lunch. I believe our nanny has different views how to feed a toddler and we clashed on a few things so far.

Do u work at home? Why don’t you say “ what happened to Larlas clothes?” When you see it happen? This almost falls under micro managing so be careful. An 18mo s be able to sit and eat for 15-20 mins.

Part of the drama was the bib be removed over and over along with mess. Nanny removed a piece of the drama, hopefully resulting in the child eatting more in a reasonable time. Less of a power struggle. This time will pass soon.

When my kids were 2 and 3 I'd strip them to their pullup or skivvies when baking with me. No reason to get food all over their clothes.

From my experience, toddlers tend to act up when eating if they are overtired, picky eaters or if there are too many adults in the room, distractions and inconsistent meal time routine/everyone being on the same page about habits to encourage or discourage at meal time (eg parents walking in and out, too many people trying to "help", one or more adults/parents also doing something in the kitchen, one person allowing toddler to walk around while another person encourages sitting).
Toddlers sometimes don't know how to deal with a lot of attention at once which is why its best to have one adult handle the mealtime if meals are chaotic vs everyone coming in or you peaking in to observe.

Other issues could be going on too: eg toddler doesnt like meal - are the meals she's eating with nanny, the same meals you offer her? Sometimes some parents will ask nanny to prepare wholesome healthy meals for the sake of building healthy habits for toddler but yet they don't offer the same meals when nanny is away (eg offer pouches or snacky/finger foods, dont encourage toddler to eat her meals) as the result nanny looks like the bad guy or nanny is unable to actually foster successful meal time etc. Is she perhaps not hungry yet? Is she being offered snacks/bottle right before meals? is she being. offered a wholesome meal she enjoys?

So its important to have an honest discussion with your nanny and be honest about whats really causing this, whether or not it is a huge deal before letting a good nanny go (as you said she seems to be doing a good job with everything else).

one thing is for sure, everyone needs to be on the same page and meal time routine including what kind of food is prepared for toddler needs to be consistent. Its very possible for children to learn to have an enjoyable meal and while its good for them to explore their food/textures, its also possible to know the difference between learning/exploring and throwing food/wasting it/confusing meal time for play time and etc (it could be that one or more of the adults maybe unknowingly feeding into that drama by either rewarding it or avoiding gently but firmly telling the child "no no food is not for playing, food is for eating" something like (clear boundaries).

i understand you concern but idk if its a huge deal. To me it sounds like having her eat in her diaper is your nanny's way of helping the situation and working smart. That's different from nanny just deciding to let baby run around in her diaper for no reason.

If you know that baby has a hard time at meals (eg removing bib) it means you know things perhaps get messier than a typical meal time. Assuming you have heating in your home, I don't think 15-20mins is harmful to child unless is visibly uncomfortable/harmed as a result of it.Is baby actually cold or are you feeling it must be cold?

Do you prefer that clothes get stained and nanny changes the outfit every time? Have you considered that meal time with 2 parents is a different ball game with one person (even tho its the best solution for nanny & toddler) and thats why you may feel she should make same solution as you & hubby?

Personally, I think it’s a great solution. But I usually fed my own kids in nothing but a diaper when they were learning to feed themselves. I didn’t want clothes to get stained.

If this bothers you, tell her not to do it.

This nanny does not know how to deal with toddlers. The child is learning that there are no boundaries. Talk to the nanny. Try to figure out why meal time is difficult. Maybe do not give your toddler any bottles in the morning so she feels hungry and actually enjoys her meal.

Reading your post, make think that you are not up front with your nanny. Lack of communication for both parties. It's not a big deal; just you both (together) have to be smarter thinking the way; your baby girl learn how to be seated, encourage her to eat in a proper way, without wasting time and be more firm, but nice of course. So she can learn to have every meal without any drama.

Both you are making the mistake to not find an easy solution for this.

Let the nanny go. Not a good fit if you’re gonna make a mountain out of a molehill .

OP here,

My daughter is 18 months old, she's sweet and bubbly but eating is difficult for her to sit down for at least 15 to 20 minutes at meal Time. Nanny been with us for 7 months and we all get along and my daughter seems to be happy. I noticed at meal Time with Nanny, my daughter acts up, she takes her bib out,she throws it on the floor over and over, and Nanny is actually good with her but a few times she has lost patience, stop feeding the baby and just waited out.

For the past 2 months, I noticed that Nanny is feeding the baby without any clothes on except her diaper. Meal Time is a struggle sometimes, I understand but I want the nanny to come with a better solution. My husband and I also have difficulty with our daughter when it comes to meal Time but we have ways to make her sit down and eat. I have share it with the nanny but she doesn't seem interested to do it.

My husband doesn't care if the baby is eating only in her diaper and I'm conflicted because it's cold to sit down for 20 minutes in her diaper and eat a meal. I need a solution as soon as possible or I have to let the nanny go.

Maybe good to perhaps gage a few things:
Have you communicated this before with the nanny from the beginning? is this happening at every meal? Are you around during your toddlers lunch (which could be contributing to the 'drama" or maybe her having a hard time understanding Mom going in & out?)?
Is your nanny having her eat in her diaper for certain meals (eg messy foods like spaghetti sauce, berries etc) or ALL meals? Whats specifically are you not okay with when it comes to toddler eating in her diaper? is it a deal breaker?
Does nanny dress toddler back up after or just lets her run around in her diaper? Is eating in her diaper working better for toddler or making her behavior worse or making her uncomfortable etc?
Have you asked nanny to get her views or line of thought behind having toddler eat in her diaper?
Does your toddler also behave the same way when having meals with you and could it be that nanny is trying to find ways to best help your toddler through meals?

Sounds like a lot of questions but since theres no other info, its hard to give feed back. But its helpful for you to think about answers to these questions so you figure out whether its a huge huge issue or something you can work with or get your nanny's perspective about.

I guess i am also curious to know how toddler eating in her diaper means she's not managing the child's meal time drama?

If its a couple of messy meals, eating in her diaper especially if you dont have bibs or clean up is a bit more difficult adding in other factors (eg pressed for time, cranky toddler, busy kitchen, limited cleaning supplies or limitations on when to use them, parents not happy with stained clothes etc), that would make sense. But then at the same time it maybe good to first understand why your nanny is seemingly having toddler eat all meals in her diaper in case theres a good reason why.

I don’t see the problem but to each their own.

Yeah that’s weird. When my charges are in the messy stage there were certain foods (beets for example) that I might do that for, but not daily for normal meals!

Anonymous wrote:What is the best way to talk to nanny about this? I don’t want my baby eating naked except her diaper. I know my kid is a handful but nanny needs to do better at managing kids meal time drama.

I agree. Does this happen every day or was this a one time thing where she needed a change of clothes?
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What is the best way to talk to nanny about this? I don’t want my baby eating naked except her diaper. I know my kid is a handful but nanny needs to do better at managing kids meal time drama.