Nanny here. I really like my charges grandparents and they all respect my authority with the kids. For me it’s a chaos factor: two more people in the house, talking loudly on their phones and to each other, their stuff all over (employers don’t have a designated guest room so grandparents sleep in the playroom). It’s hard but not unbearable and the kids love their grandparents. I just wish they could lower their volume!

Anonymous wrote:I just tell my parents and in laws that our nanny is in charge. My mom and MIL both help our nanny (doing breakfast and lunch dishes, helping out at park and playground) and get along well with her. They ask before they do anything like offer cookies or take out art supplies for the kids. FIL generally does nothing but my dad is a problem we’re still working on. Nanny is a saint to put up with him and I afraid to speak up to him.

* not afraid to speak up

I just tell my parents and in laws that our nanny is in charge. My mom and MIL both help our nanny (doing breakfast and lunch dishes, helping out at park and playground) and get along well with her. They ask before they do anything like offer cookies or take out art supplies for the kids. FIL generally does nothing but my dad is a problem we’re still working on. Nanny is a saint to put up with him and I afraid to speak up to him.

My dad has done this a few times. We basically tell him that from 9-5 on weekdays, he either needs to be in our room/bathroom (where he’s welcome to relax, watch TV, read, shower, whatever. We don’t have a guest room, when he visits he sleeps in the living room on a pull out couch) or out of the house. He can chill on the main floor of the house from 10-12 while the nanny takes the kids the park, and he can pop in to the kitchen for a quick bite when the kids are napping in the afternoon (we don’t eat in bedrooms) but beyond that, he needs to stay out of the nanny’s way.

He’s fine with it (he’s a bit of a lone wolf anyway, likes to do his own thing) and actually the nanny quite likes him! He made us all (nanny included!) a cocktail at 5pm on Friday the last time he came. He gets his quality grandkid time in the evenings when we’re all hanging out as a family.

If my mom were going to visit during the week (parents are divorced) she would want to spend a lot of time with the kids, so I would either give the nanny the day off, or tell her to come early/late so mom would get to take care of them instead. This never comes up, because my mom still works, so she always visits on weekends/holidays. But I for sure wouldn’t expect the nanny to watch the kids while my mom was also hanging out with them. That’s asking too much of the nanny, IMHO (unless it’s for like 15 mins at the beginning or end of the day or something).

I’m referring to out-of-town grandparents visiting and staying in the house.

Anything the employers can I do to make it easier for the nanny?