Anonymous
Post 12/21/2021 01:39     Subject: Re:Holiday bonus / gifts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:First time host family, our au pair just extended 12 months. We got her an Apple Watch 7. We are planning on our littles picking out specific presents for her at Sephora --- is that enough? We pay her above stipend...


Are you sure she will enjoy that watch?
I would have hated that gift ...

Honestly, cash and things that you can use like some toiletries/gift certificates to movies etc are the best thing when you're an ap.


Just give cash/generic gift card. I would have hated an apple watch too as I'd never use it.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2021 00:16     Subject: Re:Holiday bonus / gifts
Anonymous wrote:First time host family, our au pair just extended 12 months. We got her an Apple Watch 7. We are planning on our littles picking out specific presents for her at Sephora --- is that enough? We pay her above stipend...


Are you sure she will enjoy that watch?
I would have hated that gift ...

Honestly, cash and things that you can use like some toiletries/gift certificates to movies etc are the best thing when you're an ap.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2021 21:00     Subject: Re:Holiday bonus / gifts
First time host family, our au pair just extended 12 months. We got her an Apple Watch 7. We are planning on our littles picking out specific presents for her at Sephora --- is that enough? We pay her above stipend...
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2021 15:14     Subject: Re:Holiday bonus / gifts
It's not nice at all she would have asked for that. Think of she was really your teen daughter; would you give her to her so easy? If you would do it she is your family, your real daughter. Not are thinking to give away this to your AP who is not your family and you barely know. Unless you are willing to do that and think she deserves to invest lots of money on her and think she really deserves it. It's your money, your choice.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2021 14:07     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP. Maybe “wish list” is not the way to say it. She basically said (with no prompting btw), “I’d really love a MacBook and could really use it, but I don’t think anyone will buy it for me because I’m not important / special enough…”

(Note we are the only folks buying her gifts - no boyfriend, no family back home with any means to send a gift let alone a MacBook, etc).

So “wish list” is my wording but actually now that I’m thinking about it, this is kinda worse. Pretty manipulative. Ugh.


It is manipulative, especially the cringe-inducing " I don't think anyone will buy it for me because I'm not important enough..." bit. omg.


Agree, totally manipulative. She has a JOB. Why isn't she saving her money if she wants a Macbook so badly? Know how I got my first Macbook? I saved, and bought it refurbished. Know how I got my second Macbook? Same way. Know how I'm about to buy my third Macbook? With savings and a bonus from work, still a refurbished one.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2021 13:29     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
Anonymous wrote:OP. Maybe “wish list” is not the way to say it. She basically said (with no prompting btw), “I’d really love a MacBook and could really use it, but I don’t think anyone will buy it for me because I’m not important / special enough…”

(Note we are the only folks buying her gifts - no boyfriend, no family back home with any means to send a gift let alone a MacBook, etc).

So “wish list” is my wording but actually now that I’m thinking about it, this is kinda worse. Pretty manipulative. Ugh.


If my child hinted at something like this, I would ask how much they are planning to contribute to the present themselves. That's a huge ask for Christmas from a non-relative OP.
If you can afford it and want to, go for it. For the rest of us down here on the middle class level, we are buying our aupair movie tickets, an ULTA giftcard and a $100 visa gift card.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2021 12:57     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
Hah! Poor AP.

That said, we are getting our AP a Series 6 apple watch. For great APs, we have in the past given an iPad which we feel has contributed to them feeling valued and agreeing to extend in several cases. Our current AP told a friend she made at our church that she was saving up to buy the watch before she goes home, so this isn't the "wish list" situation - I proactively asked the friend if AP had mentioned anything she would like for Xmas.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2021 12:39     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
Lol. I would tell her she should love herself and make herself feel special by buying herself the MacBook.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2021 12:26     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
Anonymous wrote:OP. Maybe “wish list” is not the way to say it. She basically said (with no prompting btw), “I’d really love a MacBook and could really use it, but I don’t think anyone will buy it for me because I’m not important / special enough…”

(Note we are the only folks buying her gifts - no boyfriend, no family back home with any means to send a gift let alone a MacBook, etc).

So “wish list” is my wording but actually now that I’m thinking about it, this is kinda worse. Pretty manipulative. Ugh.


It is manipulative, especially the cringe-inducing " I don't think anyone will buy it for me because I'm not important enough..." bit. omg.

Anonymous
Post 12/16/2021 12:01     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
OP. Maybe “wish list” is not the way to say it. She basically said (with no prompting btw), “I’d really love a MacBook and could really use it, but I don’t think anyone will buy it for me because I’m not important / special enough…”

(Note we are the only folks buying her gifts - no boyfriend, no family back home with any means to send a gift let alone a MacBook, etc).

So “wish list” is my wording but actually now that I’m thinking about it, this is kinda worse. Pretty manipulative. Ugh.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2021 09:43     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
I give a gift card with a couple of hundred on it and small gifts that they can open, like bracelets. I also order a stocking that matches our family stockings and have it monogrammed with her name. To be honest, not every AP cares for the stocking, so I only order it for the ones that are really into that kind of thing, and they appreciate it.

I've never heard of APs giving a wish list. Always thought most would prefer cash.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2021 07:08     Subject: Re:Holiday bonus / gifts
We always do an iPad as a gift at the end of the year. I would not give such a big gift to someone who might decide to rematch the next day.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2021 23:41     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
She had the audacity to give you a WISH LIST?! That's damn ballsy of her. For that I'd give her a pack of Chapstick and an orange. People like that disgust me.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2021 22:12     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
Give her a few hundred dollars cash/gift card and she can buy it. That's excessive and not appropriate to ask for.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2021 18:46     Subject: Holiday bonus / gifts
What is everyone doing? Our au pair’s “wish list” is a MacBook, not sure if we will do it or not… it’s not something I’d ever get myself (I use a 3 year old PC) and it seems pretty extravagant for a young woman with very little going on, but then again I think it would bring her some joy…

I’m planning on doing stocking stuffers (chocolate, lip balm, toiletries, tea, etc), costume jewelry, fleece jammies... Any good ideas? What range bonus (if any) are you all doing?