Transition SUCKS. I hated it. I totally get it. Transitioning to a new aupair each year is horrible too and emotional. We were lucky we liked a few alot who stayed 2 years with us at a time. My daughter cried herself to sleep for days after our last aupair left after 2 years.

Childcare transitions are really tough. Your intended AP will find another family that is ready for that transition. Give it a month or two to see if your daycare is going to work financially and logistically for your family and then make that decision. Breakups are hard, but if you allow her to match, travel come here excited and then realize it's a breakup situation, that will be so much worse.

And I read on a facebook group a line that really made sense to me, "don't wind yourself and your family up into knots over someone else's american dream."

You just can't. Your family comes first and she will be able to match and be an aupair if it's meant to be.

I kept my kids in daycare the last time I hired an au pair, because I was worried she would flake/ demand rematch to a better location than my snowy Midwestern city/ flame out somehow, and then I'd have no childcare at all. She flamed out spectacularly in a month (rematched, then quit on the second family and went home 10 days later). I gave up on au pairs.

Just keep your kids in daycare if it's working. My daycare (now aftercare) kind of sucks, but it's always there for me and never whines that I didn't buy it a BMW and pay for gas.

OP - I could be wrong but it feels to me like you are considering giving up on the AP program and sticking with day care - if this helps at all, I think that sounds like a fine option that could work well for your family - dont worry about AP, she can certainly find a new host family and will have a great year here, if she ends up coming.

I would give it 1-2 months at the new daycare ad see how the kids are doing.

I'm trying to get advice on how best to handle an odd situation. We matched with an au pair almost a year ago- that we really liked and have been excited to get here for the kids- however the borders were shut down from Covid, which delayed her ability to come (100% not her fault). In the meantime, we put them in a daycare center in the area- which we stayed at for a year despite problems. We had stayed there becuase we wanted some consistency and figured she'd be able to come soon. Well once it had been over 6 months, we didn't see the border re-opening and after a long discussion, we all agreed she should start a 1 year program abroad, and we would have her come the next summer (2022).

In the meantime, the other daycare got so bad, we had to switch the kids into a new daycare. It's been a month of hell getting them used to this change and the new center and they are just finally adjusting to the new setting. (Dec. 2021). I'm really nervous about chanigng everything for them again in just 5-6 months. My worry is they will finally (hopefully) like the new daycare center and then I will be pulling them out to be with someone who (for them) is essentially a new stranger.

But we also really like our expected au pair. I guess I wondering if we continue with the changes or if we should try and stick out with the new location? I want to be able to have an upfront conversation with the AP, becuase if she needs to re-match that can take quite a bit of time, and I don't want to short change her.