Au Pairs hate traveling with families. We love paid time off and you out of the house.

Only to the beach and only if they're hot.

I have been an au pair several times. At times the family took me on vacation, at other times they did not.

Honestly, both ways worked for me.

Once or twice I got "sad" because it was a destination I would have loved to enjoy but I'm not entitled, I kept dreaming I'd go someday by myself and that's it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with above. They don't actually want to travel with you. They want the free airfare and place to stay. You may have a unicorn AP who likes to see your kids enjoy Disney World, but really, those are rare and you have an AP who wants to see Disney World free and will tolerate going to the Frozen ride if it means that. And you will feel that attitude because it's not personal, it's reality. Your 20-something AP is not excited about witnessing the inevitable DisneyWorld meltdown your preschooler will have.

If you are happy to take her because she's helpful and a full fledge familiy member by now, then splurge and add the room, airfare and tickets. If you aren't excited and obligated, splruge on a low cost flight for her to the destination of her choice under $300 and let her plan her own vacation.

We took our final aupair on vacation with us in April to try to bond with her. We were struggling to do so before this. It was okay. She seemed happy. The bonding did not happen but it was just a bad match. The trip didn't cost much to add another room but in retrospect, it was a failed effort.

Host families don't need to do the bolded part. Are most people thinking that they should cover part of AP's vacation expense? I'm confused by this assumption.

The way we do vacations is giving the ap plenty of heads up: hey we're taking our family vacation in 3 months on such dates. please plan your vacation for this time period too. And it's never been a problem. They pay for their own flight and everything.

I think it's just a nicety and not something you actually *have* to do. If I was going to a luxury Disney resort with my family and didn't want to take our AP with us (for whatever reason), a token amount of money towards their own vacation would be a consolation prize. YYMV

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PP that host families don't need to pay for the flight of the AP when they don't invite her to join a family vacation. BUT consider that for reasonable amount of $$, you become "my host parents paid for my flight to San Diego " instead of "my host family went on vacation with out me " and that will be worth it in the long run....

exactly,.

the worst are families who don't take the AP on vacation with them, AND then ask her to watch the dog while they are gone.

I am the poster who gives her AP money for a plane trip to her destination choice. Just makes me feel better for not including her in our vacation. And she is happy. Win/win.

When I was an au pair many years ago my family gave me the choice of going to CO with them for a ski vacation or having the week off. I went with them, I wanted to see more of the US and had never skied before. It was awesome and I’m glad they gave me the choice.

I agree with the PP that host families don't need to pay for the flight of the AP when they don't invite her to join a family vacation. BUT consider that for reasonable amount of $$, you become "my host parents paid for my flight to San Diego " instead of "my host family went on vacation with out me " and that will be worth it in the long run....

Anonymous wrote:Agree with above. They don't actually want to travel with you. They want the free airfare and place to stay. You may have a unicorn AP who likes to see your kids enjoy Disney World, but really, those are rare and you have an AP who wants to see Disney World free and will tolerate going to the Frozen ride if it means that. And you will feel that attitude because it's not personal, it's reality. Your 20-something AP is not excited about witnessing the inevitable DisneyWorld meltdown your preschooler will have.

If you are happy to take her because she's helpful and a full fledge familiy member by now, then splurge and add the room, airfare and tickets. If you aren't excited and obligated, splruge on a low cost flight for her to the destination of her choice under $300 and let her plan her own vacation.

We took our final aupair on vacation with us in April to try to bond with her. We were struggling to do so before this. It was okay. She seemed happy. The bonding did not happen but it was just a bad match. The trip didn't cost much to add another room but in retrospect, it was a failed effort.

Host families don't need to do the bolded part. Are most people thinking that they should cover part of AP's vacation expense? I'm confused by this assumption.

The way we do vacations is giving the ap plenty of heads up: hey we're taking our family vacation in 3 months on such dates. please plan your vacation for this time period too. And it's never been a problem. They pay for their own flight and everything.

Agree with above. They don't actually want to travel with you. They want the free airfare and place to stay. You may have a unicorn AP who likes to see your kids enjoy Disney World, but really, those are rare and you have an AP who wants to see Disney World free and will tolerate going to the Frozen ride if it means that. And you will feel that attitude because it's not personal, it's reality. Your 20-something AP is not excited about witnessing the inevitable DisneyWorld meltdown your preschooler will have.

If you are happy to take her because she's helpful and a full fledge familiy member by now, then splurge and add the room, airfare and tickets. If you aren't excited and obligated, splruge on a low cost flight for her to the destination of her choice under $300 and let her plan her own vacation.

We took our final aupair on vacation with us in April to try to bond with her. We were struggling to do so before this. It was okay. She seemed happy. The bonding did not happen but it was just a bad match. The trip didn't cost much to add another room but in retrospect, it was a failed effort.

Long time HM here. There are lots of threads on here and Au Pair mom.


Bottom line is that the APs really don’t want to vacation with you. They may not realize it until the trip starts.

So unless you need the child care, I say no.

I gave my AP a plane ticket to go somewhere she wanted to go with friends while we were away.

We take our AP on one vacation a year: a Christmas trip to the west coast. We designate one of our other vacation weeks as her week off. All other trips are additional weeks off (beyond the two weeks that are required by the program). The week on the West coast is s big perk for the AP. We don’t really need childcare and we end up paying substantially more for having the AP with us: rent a place other than staying with my parent, minivan, air fare, etc.

Like PP said, international trips are out of question.

Our past APs have not wanted to join us for domestic trips. Our current one likes to spend a lot of her down time with us, so we include her. I recently planned a road trip for next spring and she expressed a desire to come along. We agreed that it would be mostly a working trip for her, with plenty of downtime. I'm actually excited about her coming, b/c she's really become an integral part of our family and is like a daughter to us.

If you find yourself dreading the thought of bringing your AP on a cross country trip, then talk to her in advance so she can plan her own vacation around the same time you're gone. You're not obligated to bring them with you.

So first thing- we were told the AP could NOT leave the country. So I think that eliminates international travel being a problem. They do still need to be paid while you're out of the country though.

As to in country non-local travel- that's really up to you and the au pair. Some want to come with and some don't (they may prefer to use that time to do their own trips to places they want to see and experience).

As for paying for them- I was told that if they're not working AT ALL during the vacation, you don't technically have to pay for it (how that works out, socially speaking I think is not great tho). BUT if they work at all, even for an evening, my understanding is you have to pay for the trip, including travel, hotel accomodations, and potentially passes into the events (which can really add up).

We had planned on taking a trip with our AP (Pre-Covid) and knew it would NOT be a working trip for them, but offered to pay for her travel (flight), hotel (we had a 2 room suite, so she had 1 room we had the other), and entry tickets to the events. We did say, any additional food/ events we weren't doing, she'd have to cover on her own.

I will also note- an unforseen expense- if you're renting a car, bringing an AP usually means needing a Minivan which doubled our rental car budget.

Our family travels a lot and typically spends a lot on travel. Disney on resort property, luxury resorts, etc. I personally don’t want an Au Pair to travel with us internationally or to visit family that frankly doesn’t have room for us and an Au Pair. I work a lot and like spending time with my kids on vacation. I don’t go on vacation with my kids to bring a babysitter.

Do I need to bring AP on cross country or international travel with our family or can I just bring them on local trips?