OP- I feel you 100%. We're in the exact same boat. We're planning on doing a bonus when she leaves but I'm still not sure that she'll do anything but by a new phone or shoes with it. Trying to MYOB but it's hard when you care and their spending patterns/ priorities are so different. I love the idea about talking to our AP about her resume and career future but I also think that she'll just shut down if I do.

Some people just spend till it’s gone. I have a friend who’s husband makes 300k. Once pay day comes they always need it because they are typically down to 5 dollars. Plus no college savings or retirement. You should myob

MYOB

Imagine making $200 per week. A couple Starbucks drinks is 5% or more of her pay.

Former AP here.

I'd talk to her if you feel you have to.

I spent my whole stipend when I was an AP in the USA and I'm glad I did. There are other ways to earn money when you're back home.

I would myob. I was an Au Pair once and I saved up $5k in a year. My pay was $115-$125 a week. If she doesn't care, why should you. I'd award her efforts to manage her finances better, not spend on who-knows-what.

If a great Au pair stays with us the full 2 years, we give a 1k cash bonus.

I would have a conversation with her about what she’s planning to do after her time ends, and talk to her (high level) about considering how much savings she’ll need to ensure that she has a great start at the end of the program. I’d give her a bit less for her Christmas stipend (perhaps $100/$150 rather than the typical $250), and instead increase our end of program payout that we plan to give her.

Our Au pairs have been Fantastic, so we always have multiple conversations in their last 6-9 months talking about their future and how we can help assist (editing their resume, them potentially doing a free / volunteer ‘internship’ to get additional career related experience (during their free time while the kids are in school, etc). Please keep in mind all of our Au pairs have been 24-27, which also is a factor.

Our Au pairs have all done great after the program. We are really proud and excited about what they’ve been able to do post their time with our family.

I'd set aside a little bit each week and consolidate it at the end of the term into a "bonus" gift

Our au pair has about 3 more months left in the US. She’s a pretty typical 23 year old - spends her stipend on normal consumer stuff (clothes, Starbucks, Apple electronics, etc.). I am pretty sure she has nothing saved. She often asks us to pay her stipend days or even a week early so she can do something like go to the movies. I don’t believe she’s in debt, but she’s not building any financial security either.

My sense is that unlike other au pairs who return home, she doesn’t have much of a safety net. She’s planning on crashing with friends and looking for a job. Her country does not have great prospects for a woman with limited experience and no education past a “high school” equivalent.

We pay her $200/week. We’ve given cash bonuses along the way, cash for holidays/bday and paid a medical bill when she was in a jam. But it’s not a matter of paying her more - if she has it, she’ll spend it. Should I talk to her about saving? Should I set aside some amount, say $25 or $50 a week (beyond her stipend of course) and then give it to her when she’s leaving the country and tell her it’s for savings? Or just myob. My sense is she always lands in her feet, but seems like a shame to not use this time to build up a little security. She has zero family support.

Anyone experience something similar?