I am a mom with a nanny. It sounds like this mom is feeling very insecure because she works very long hours, doesn’t have much time to spend with her baby and doesn’t feel bonded. If she was normal she would want her baby to have a really good relationship with the nanny and encourage that in any way she could.

I second all the suggestions to run.

Your new employer has significant personality disorders that you cannot fix or tolerate, OP. You will never be appreciated or treated well. I echo the majority in telling you to give your notice now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:RUN!! That’s my only advice

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. That’s just rude.

-1
What a stupid, rude response PP.

OP, you are doing nothing wrong.
This Mother has an issue w/her self-esteem & only she can fix it.
It is so unfair of her to say these things to you.

Trust me - unless she gets help for her issues, things will only get WORSE as this job progresses.
Sure, you can always talk w/her about how these comments make you feel > however I am sure even if she stopped making them, her actions would showcase her feelings one way or another.

I could not work for someone like this.
Her unfair comments would wear on me.

I strongly encourage you to give your notice, then seek a new family.
Wishing you the best of luck!

Anonymous wrote:RUN!! That’s my only advice

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. That’s just rude.

Anonymous wrote:RUN FAST!

You will never, ever be okay in this job. Start looking for a new position now. This is honestly unfixable. You’ll always be damned if you and damned if you don’t. Plus, she’s mentally unstable.

This. Get another job. Tell her if her child doesn't feel safe with you that you can't stay. Then turn around and walk out.

Why don’t you try discussing it with her. If you like other aspects of the job. Ask her if you can set aside some time to talk.

Noted.

I figured that’s where this is headed but didn’t expect a general consensus.

Thank you for the replies. Bummed. Pay and benefits are really good.

It's not going to work.

Poor mom needs help for PPD or PPA

Move on quickly. It's been only 2 weeks you being there. Nothing. You're on time to give your 2 weeks notice. Nothing It's going to change. Huge red flag.

Quit. Best advice. If everything started with wrong foot. You can imagine how this will turn out; while days, weeks months are passing by. You will always have different kind of issues with the mom and everyday bigger. Start looking for a new Job.

Mom here. Here’s what you say to the very anxious mom:

“I’m afraid this position isn’t working out for me and I’m giving you my two weeks notice.”

I am a FTM and I wanted my baby to love nanny completely because it’s in his best interest to have secure attachments. Lots of times he’s reached for nanny or his dad when he’s upset and other times I’m the only one he wants. It’s just the way it goes with kids.

Your new employer is messed up and insecure and while I feel sorry for her, there really is nothing you can do to fix her. I’m sorry, OP. It sucks to look for a new job.

RUN FAST!

You will never, ever be okay in this job. Start looking for a new position now. This is honestly unfixable. You’ll always be damned if you and damned if you don’t. Plus, she’s mentally unstable.

RUN!! That’s my only advice

I’ve worked with a lot of anxious new moms but struggling with current family.

Started two weeks ago. First time parents. Both parents have high stress jobs that require a lot of their tome and attention. Baby is currently 14 weeks. I work about 55-60 hours a week. Mom works PT in her office and PT at home. Dad is FT at work.

Mom has made almost daily comments about babies connection to me. If baby cries when she hands him over it’s

“Babies can tell who is a good person and who isn’t.” “He knows you aren’t his Mama, he doesn’t feel as safe with you.” “I want to trust my Mama gut, if he’s not happy that’s hard to do.”

But if he’s happy with me or God forbids smile at me it’s,

“I guess he just forgot I’m his Mama.” “Didn’t think it would be that easy for him to replace me. “ “I wonder why he likes you so much?” Babies are only suppose to bond with mom and dad.”

And I get it. Leaving your baby in the care of a relative stranger is hard and I understand she’s working through some things but I’m very stressed.

So moms, what can I do or say to let mom know she’s number 1 while also helping her trust that babies safe with me.

I feel like there is this tiny sliver of “connected to baby but not bonded” that will make Mom happy.

Thoughts? Advice?