Anonymous wrote:Good god! You can’t afford help if you are squabbling about gas money!! What are you in high school.

What are you off your meds?

Gas ain’t cheap these days, or did you somehow miss that? Maybe the au pair’s work did not merit such a weekly bonus.

Greenlight card and the $50 is only allowed to be charged at gas stations.
Take all of these lessons into the future for when you are parenting older teens and college kids. They do apply. If I was giving my older teen $50 a week to gas the car up, I would expect him to be gassing the car up.
Our culture is not as blunt and direct as most countries. If she is not receiving feedback from you that she should be using the money for gas, it's simply a weekly bonus. That's okay if you are okay with that.

Personally, I have a sick sense of humor and if this was my child, I would explain we have a new budget system and it includes greenlight cards. Put that money in the gas station category and see if the first charge for something else is denied because it isn't gas. lol.

Gas is expensive these days. If she's doing alot of driving, I would expect her to pitch in some. I also hate pumping gas so if you are always filling up the tank, it would be appreciated if she helps out on that too.

Agree with 20:02 - too late to change now. $50 a week isn't insignificant, but its worth it to have a happy au pair. If anything, just stop filling the tank and see what happens....

100% agree with the poster above. You have 5!! Active kids. Trying to cut back on the gas after you’ve had the policy in place sounds petty and will leave her irritated. Just change your gas policy for the next Au pair that comes.

We don’t have a third car specifically for the au pair. Instead, she and I share a car (I work from home). I fill the tank and don’t sweat her day to day use. She takes it most weekends and if she is going somewhere over say 1 hr away, I ask that she put some gas in the car to make up the difference. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn’t. One time she wanted to use the car and it was close to empty so I told her to fill it up to whatever she needed to get around that day and then I’d fill the tank later. But in general, we pay for her gas. There’s so many hidden costs to hosting (if you’re gratious and not an ahole) that I wouldn’t worry about $10 here and there. My au pair cost me more with all my wine she was enjoying daily until I made that a once a week thing!!!

When I was a newish Nanny I had use of their 2nd car for the kids and got myself bit I was limited to 800 miles a month for personal use. I had to track the kids miles in a small book then deduct it from total miles at end of the month. I ended up lying sometimes and putting down I took the kids to the library when I hadn’t to give myself 6 extra miles here and there. It was crazy and I swore I would never work for someone with kind of limits on the car again. I gassed the car up and they reimbursed me for the kid miles. If you found an au pair willing to come work for u with 5 kids, I would let the gas go. Unless she’s going away on a trip for a weekend or something or going to the beach. Day to day stuff, let it go.

Good god! You can’t afford help if you are squabbling about gas money!! What are you in high school.

Greenlight debit card for gas. We can specify it the $50 can only be used at gas stations.
Our aupairs always let us know how many miles they put on the car and they pay for their personal gas usage.
We never cared much until we had an aupair putting a lot of personal miles on the car. Then we decided it was best for all if we had her fill the tank before going out and coming back for the weekend.

We tell AP we pay for gas twice a month which has always covered all of the AP's individual needs and driving kids (dedicated AP car; hybrid).

I have 2 kids and just errands with them require full tank weekly.

Are you positive that she's not gassing up the car at all? I would ask to see the receipts for the next two weeks, and I'd ask if she got receipts for the last two weeks. If she's driving 5 boys all around, she may be using more gas than you thought.

Are you giving her gas money and she doesn’t spend it on gas? Give her credit card and tell her to use it for gas up to $50 a week. This way she will either spend it or not but won’t keep it for herself

We always paid for gas (they’d charge it on the card we gave them). But we limited the car to a close-range driving distance, especially when they were new to town. And the car had to be home by midnight. So even though our au pairs were social and went out a lot they weren’t putting too many miles on the car. In their last few months with us we said they could go anywhere they wanted but even then it wasn’t too much extra.

Our au pair does tons of driving for us. Actually it’s the main reason we got an au pair. I have 5 very active sons. We have 3 cars that my husband and I share with the au pair. She’s a very good driving and we allow her to drive anywhere, even day trips away. Up until now, we’ve been giving her $50/ week extra for gas. But we are finding that we are the ones mostlly filling the tanks, so she’s not really spending that money on gas. We are thinking of cutting that $50 gas allowance and just filling the tanks ourselves, and she can put in whatever gas she needs for her personal use. How does everyone else handle this?