Anonymous wrote:Outside of work times. Nothing seedy about it, just work related questions. We are paying her a retainer at the moment as DH has a foot injury and cannot work. So she has been doing the odd few hours for us but not her normal schedule. I was shocked when my nanny told me that he was calling often and that it is interrupting her free time.
How do I approach this with her and also DH?

You have big problems if you have to crowd source this question.

Your DH probably is looking for some fun on the side too. Typical slime ball.

You are in denial

He wants her

Is he texting her the list for tomorrow? Like here are the things we need you to get but he is doing it at 10pm?

Is he asking "which book does Bobby like better" during bed time routine?

He needs to stop the second. The first is fine if it is once a day. She can ignore that until work hours.

Is he calling her for things like "where do you keep the kids' favorite sippy cup?" or is he calling her for things like "hey how are you doing? do you miss us?" ?

For the first, he needs to make a list of all his questions, ask you, and THEN if you can't answer them then one of you asks her all next time she's in. If it's the latter, you slap him upside the head and tell him to cut it out before you break his other foot.

You're paying her for time she's not actually working?

What you need is clarity. What exactly are you paying her for, how much, and what is each side entitled to?

If she's receiving money while not working, then it would be reasonable IMO to say "we will pay you X dollars to insure you don't take another position. In return we ask that you are available for advice by phone or email up to Y hours per week. Those calls or emails will only happen (except if there is an emergency) during what would be your usual working hours."

Or something like that.

But also, yes - husband shouldn't be calling her a lot and none of you should be in the dark or contacting each other w/o everyone knowing what the set up is.

Anonymous wrote:Tell your DH to stop. He should only be texting her during her work hours and never call her.

This. How incredibly rude of your DH.

Tell your DH to stop. He should only be texting her during her work hours and never call her.

She needs to have a copy/paste message that she sends to him. You also need to have a serious talk with him about respecting the time frame. She is paid a retainer for certain hours, not for 24/7 availability.

Tell DH to stop.
Tell nanny to not answer the phone if DH calls outside of work hours.

Outside of work times. Nothing seedy about it, just work related questions. We are paying her a retainer at the moment as DH has a foot injury and cannot work. So she has been doing the odd few hours for us but not her normal schedule. I was shocked when my nanny told me that he was calling often and that it is interrupting her free time.
How do I approach this with her and also DH?