I have always had great au pairs. They are a lot better than any nanny we have ever had. They actually want to be here and enjoy being with our kids. It is always nice being around young people with energy and who are eager to learn about the US and US culture.

Au Pairs are getting really greedy--especially those who fabricate their intentions with NIE families. Agencies are equally greedy. Host families are getting more desperate. the program will implode

Ditto to 15:46 - I don't think anyone should expect "high quality childcare" from an au pair - we are on AP#5 and all have had strengths and weaknesses. We have an 8yo and the AP is now largely a breakfast maker, driver and kids laundry do-er. I really need her bc my DH and I are often working early in the am (leaving the house before our son wakes up some days).

You arent hiring a professional nanny! As long as your expectations are realistic, the AP program can work well.

I had APs for 6 years.
It's never been about high quality childcare.
It's always been about flexibility and affordability.

You have one bad experience and generalize.

Smh

We were always met with pushback about evening hours and definitely weekend hours scheduled for our au pair. Mediocre is a nice way of putting her childcare skills.

I don't think most au pairs come with childcare in mind or actual childcare experience. Did you know they count hours individually even if it's a class setting? If they *teach* 20 kids at a center, then it would count as 160 hours in an 8 hour day.
Suddenly those applicants with 10,000 hours of childcare experience don't seem so experienced.

They buy their international licenses.
They have their health screenings done by the recruiter's doctor in many countries.
They are told to accept the first match offer because it's harder to get a visa than a rematch.

Sit down and talk with your aupair sometime about their process of being recruited and becoming an aupair. It will be eye-opening.

We have an au pair for the flexibility, pretty much the main reason. I have a strange job where I working while the kids are in school but also have 2-4 nights per week where I’m out between 5-10pm, and there’s no daycare or nanny that wants those hours. We’ve been lucky and had overall great experiences even with mediocre au pairs they’ve all been good with our kids overall and our kids love them. On ap #6 now who just extended for her 3rd term (we love her!) and have been hosting since our youngest was @1 and oldest 6. Will keep hosting until at least the older 2 are old enough to get themselves around after school (we live in nyc so eventually they’ll take the subway). But for us, convenience wins out. We heavily stress that we need a flexible ap and have always had them happy to work just afternoons/evenings with the evenings changing most weeks.

I preferred our in home daycare to au pair, but our kids have outgrown the daycare age and it's nannies, babysitters, or au pairs.

Switching from 2 au pairs to daycare was amazing. Id recommend for anyone who can avoid au pairs please do especially when kids are past 2. Also I highly recommend cameras in plain sight (I never thought I would have to look at them). Our au pair was super sweet to our girl in front of us. Alone she basically ignored her.

Benefits of daycare:
1. Socialization, kids learn from other kids
2. Boosting immune system. Our daughter got fevers the first 2 months often, now she is much more resistant.
3. No need to cook breakfast/lunch, no need to worry about your au pairs food.
4. My car wont get more scratches.
5. We can finally feel free in our own house. Some people are more social. For us it was draining to have someone live with us.
6. No more worries about all the rules, the counting of hours.
7. Quiet time. True quiet time that allows me to work from home.
8. Daycare is another setting that kids look forward to. Its a change of pace.
9. Activities and games that we would have never though of.
10. Learning different languages. Our daughter is learning our native language. Au Pair refused to speak Spanish with her even when we suggested it.
11. We don't need to worry about them taking sick days and vacation days.
11. Cheaper. When factoring in food, cars, insurances, vacations, board, supplies, utilities, daycare saves us about 6-7k a year.

Cons.
1. COVID
2. No more date night on weekends
3. When kids get sick they are home and I am forced to take sick days from work.

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair completely over exaggerated her experience with kids. We basically had to teach her everything about caring for kids. To her credit she’s tried very hard and we are grateful for her. But yeah I’m pretty sure agencies will take pretty much anyone who claims “childcare experience.”

+1

Their experience is mostly babysitting family members or working at a childcare center run by the au pair recruiter in their home country. And sometimes it's just an outright lie, because how are you going to check their references if you don't speak their language?

I also think the "flexibility" is oversold, because every au pair I've had (3 of them through 2 different agencies before I gave up on the program) has been annoyed by evening or weekend hours. I'm not sure why these young women think I would hire an au pair if I only needed childcare during the hours that daycare is open (since I don't live in the DMV anymore, daycare for 2 kids is still cheaper than an au pair, and readily available even in the pandemic). But I think the real issue is that they don't *care* about what I need or want in a childcare provider-- they're here for the glamorous year of fun in America they were promised by the recruiters.

I've literally rearranged my career to avoid jobs with evening and weekend hours so that I can use daycare/ aftercare, because that was less trouble than dealing with a sulky, entitled au pair who doesn't want to work while her friends are out partying.

I've had 2 regular au pairs from different continents so far, both on the older side (>25). While there're pluses and minuses of each, they've both bonded really well with the kids and genuinely care for them. The care they provide is very good overall. There was some adjustment at the beginning. Ironically, the one that struggled the most at first turned out to be the best in terms of care quality.

It sounds like you have a mediocre Au pair OP. Ours is fabulous when it comes to our kids, but my preference is a childcare center for sure. They have better hours, and you don’t have to worry about vacation time + being roommates.

I love how my Au pair is with my kids, but I’m counting down the days to get my house back. But my reasons are more for privacy because our Au pair is just phenomenal with the kids.

Our au pair completely over exaggerated her experience with kids. We basically had to teach her everything about caring for kids. To her credit she’s tried very hard and we are grateful for her. But yeah I’m pretty sure agencies will take pretty much anyone who claims “childcare experience.”

We have three “extraordinaire” au pairs and, honestly, they have all been extraordinary. I think that a lot of HFS want younger au pairs so that they can control them, and we all know HFs who exploit and/or wantonly disregard the rules. We always get older au pairs with many many hours of childcare experience (one worked in a pediatric ward, another worked in a children’s rehab center, another worker in a ful-time private kindergarten). Older au pairs are prone to criticizing and giving advice. It requires sublimating your ego - which is hard for DC go-getters. Our kids really thrived and we learned a lot (e.g., how to give a squirmy toddler a recital fever check, toilet training tips). For us the AP experience is about foreign language support, but the childcare has been excellent.

I’ve had many types of childcare over the years - daycare, nannies, nursery school, babysitters and au pairs. And I have to say - even though we are fairly new to the program, my experience with au pairs over the past few months has been decidedly mediocre. Our au pair is very sweet, wants to do well, tries hard, but generally just isn’t fantastic at childcare. Managing multiple kids is clearly hard for her, her ability to be firm but gentle with kids is definitely lacking and despite being an AP “extrodinaire” seems a little like deer-in-headlights when squabbles break out. I’m sure English is part of the issue, but I have to say I’ve had babysitters who were 16 who were more engaged and comfortable. I think we will get through this year and go back to professional childcare. It just seems like so much work and training for a lower-quality option. I had a few conversations with friends in my neighborhood and we’ve all had the same reaction (which of course is just anecdotal still) but it seems the major benefit of the program is flexibility not quality.