Don’t have her sneak out because that will just cause your child to clean more tightly to her because he doesn’t know when he’s going to lose her. Choose some kind of routine and do it consistently. as a nanny, my routine is that MB walks past us and does not engage with the kids until after she has gone upstairs and changed out of her work clothes and washed her hands so that she’s not bringing any germs in with her. Then she comes downstairs and sits on the floor with the kids. I give each of them a kiss, a hug, and a “kissing hand“ (this is from a book), then head out and MB and the kids wave as I walk to the door. Sometimes they are a little whiny but she’s right there with them playing so they get over it quickly.

As others have said, it’s totally normal for kids to go through this and it says nothing about your relationship with your kids. If you are sad because you feel rejected or you feel jealous of the nanny that’s just going to make the face last longer because the kids will sense that there’s something complicated going on with your feelings and it will set them off more. So try to relax and know that this is a totally normal thing. It doesn’t mean they want the nanny instead of you. It means that they don’t want anyone special to them to leave ever. And hiring a nanny your kids feel safe with and bonded to means that you were doing a great job as a parent.

Anonymous wrote:When you get home, attract his attention to you. Make being with you fun, at least until after she leaves. Let her slip out of the room while he's focused on you.

Frankly, this is something that an experienced nanny knows how to do on both ends of the day.

No!! I'm horrified that you'd suggest this. It's the last thing you should do.

Anonymous wrote:When you get home, attract his attention to you. Make being with you fun, at least until after she leaves. Let her slip out of the room while he's focused on you.

Frankly, this is something that an experienced nanny knows how to do on both ends of the day.

umm no. Slipping out while child is not paying attention causes trust issues. You should never do that, as a parent or Nanny. Just keep the way she leaves consistent, this phase will pass.

When you get home, attract his attention to you. Make being with you fun, at least until after she leaves. Let her slip out of the room while he's focused on you.

Frankly, this is something that an experienced nanny knows how to do on both ends of the day.

This is so common and is a phase that comes and goes.

Keep nanny’s goodbye routine consistent (you come home, nanny picks up toys and talks about tomorrow, gets her shoes and bag by the door, has the same hug/kiss) and says how excited she is to come back tomorrow and then leaves. No lingering and don’t change the routine. We used to sing the “Nanny always comes back” song.

How do we deal and the best way to make it less painful for everyone?