This used to make me feel guilty in the beginning but now 4 years into having a nanny, I don't even bat an eye. My nanny sees how hard I work and actually cheers me on when I take a day off to either get things done that are really difficult to do without someone watching the kids or just to take some time for myself as she knows it's rare. As others have said, make sure you are out of the way so it's not disruptive and just embrace it. My husband and I have actually found it more affordable to just take the day off and go on a date than to go on a date during the evening and having to find a sitter.

My bosses are giving us a bunch of Friday’s off this summer, so I’ve been in this situation a lot, complicated by the fact that we host a nanny share with my son and another baby. The biggest thing I do is stay out of the nanny’s way and work around her schedule. So, in the morning, once I hand my son off, usually they play on the main floor or in his room - great, I hang out in the master bedroom, sometimes sleep in a bit, exercise, whatever. The other baby naps in our room, so I go hang out in the office doing tasks at the computer during morning nap, so the nanny has the main space to relax and prepare lunch. After the kids have lunch, they go to the park. That’s my chance to do household chores, cause I have the run of the place. Then, I usually am out running errands when they come back for 2nd nap, and get home in time to get my son before five.

Nanny seems fine with all this, and I know I’m not disrupting their usual routine at all.

I think it would nice if you can let her come in late/leave early if you are not actually working your normal hours. But no, you get your stuff done and enjoy your alone time, just make sure it’s away from her and the kids..

Nanny also here. I do agree with nannies who prefer parent are not in way. That doesn't mean that we are not enjoy parents company or we don't want to have a nice relationship with them. But honestly, sometimes with kids are watching parents all around the house and working in common areas kitchen/dinning room/living room; kids behave so much different and sometimes misbehaved. That certainly make a nannies's work So much harder.

Please don’t feel guilty, OP. I’m a nanny and my employers do this all the time. How else can you get life-stuff done when you don’t have child-free weekends? And everyone deserves complete downtime.

I like my employers company as well.

Honestly it depends
I prefer my employers don’t be in my way

Anonymous wrote:You are crazy. You hired someone to watch your kids. It's none of her business what you're doing while she's doing that.

Just do whatever you need to do.

I wish this miserable individual would get a life & cease coming unto this forum to spread toxicity.

They need to go away + find themselves another hobby instead of wasting space on here.

This person must be extremely miserable to antagonize people online while cowardly hiding behind a screen at home!

I’m a nanny and I echo the above. No good nanny expects to be off just because a parent is off. I certainly don’t have an issue with it and enjoy my boss being around. I’ve also worked for SAHMs and they were both great, involved mothers.

Thank you all for helping me. I feel better knowing that this is common and most people don't care. Totally hear you about common areas and not messing her routine. Will make sure to be thoughtful about that and try to let her go home early.

Nanny here and this never gives me a second thought. I enjoy my employers being around and understand their need to get things done. If you have time, you could include an outing with your kids and nanny. My employer and I love to drive to the beach (we’re in Los Angeles) and play with the kids on the beach and have a weekday picnic.

Nannies don’t expect to be off everytime you are, OP.

Nanny over here. In my opinion; I wouldn't be upset if the mom take the week of bcs I would known she has to do some task, errands reparations during that week. As long as I get paid and don't give me the week off without pay; only bcs she is going to have it off and probably she wouldn't need me. But in this case, I wouldn't mind that she is there. But pls I would really appreciate no to be in my way while I am with my charges and let me do my job with the kids. And also pls don't stay in common areas. We can take turns; avoiding all of us are together in the same area. Bcs we all know how kids behave when they see all the time parents around.

So mom; don't feel guilty. As a nanny I wouldn't be upset at all.

You are crazy. You hired someone to watch your kids. It's none of her business what you're doing while she's doing that.

Just do whatever you need to do.

It's kind of you to consider this, OP.

For errands (Dr appointment, car service, dog groomer) you'll be out of the house, so it shouldn't be an issue.

For household projects - if you'll be in a common area, your nanny would most likely appreciate a time frame.
If you plan to organize the fridge from 9am-10am, nanny could take the kids for a walk during that time or something - get them out of the house and out of your way.

If it's a household task that's out of the way (like organizing your bedroom closet) it shouldn't affect things.

Similarly, the down time: if you're relaxing in your room or in another room, it's different than watching TV in the living room where the kids would normally play.

If you're able to swing it, I'd try to let her go early a couple of the days - 30 min to an hour. Or if you're going out for a coffee, offer to buy her one. Something like that.

Just be clear about when you will be in and out of the common areas, OP, so she can have your child in a different area.

Nanny has been with us a year. She is amazing and loves our kids and is wonderful. She has never called in sick and is high energy with the kids. We give holidays and days off. We are trying to be great employers but this is our first time doing it and I don't want to do it wrong.

Anyway, I plan to take next week off from work. There are a bunch of household projects and tasks to attend to, a bunch of stupid things (Dr appointment, car to service, dog to groomer) and then some down time to myself. But now I feel guilty and like I am going to upset nanny that I took the week off but did not give her the week off. It is not a scheduled vacation day / week for her.

Anyway I am feeling mom guilt not being with kids 24/7 next week and worried our nanny will feel resentment that I am off but she is not.

Can people weigh in? Is this ok to be off when the nanny is still working? Does it breed resentment or is this ok?