Such nasty replies on here.. I am in a similar situation and can recognize the op's desire to help their former au pair. In our case the country our au pair is from has become very chaotic and unsafe while she has been here.
Op - I think you can give tips and support without getting too involved. I would tell her you are happy to provide a reference as long as she is being honest with the new family on her status.

Report and deport

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: She can figure out how to post an ad.

Ha...thanks, I guess?

She's not on any of the neighborhood listservs...

maybe you should double-check the ssq.

I don't have any issues with people fleeing their country and needing a better life. For many au pairs, they just like hanging out here so that's not really a reason to stay.

Anonymous wrote:Do you always help criminals break the law?

+1

Unless she's found a way to stay legally, I wouldn't even want to act as a reference for her.

Do you always help criminals break the law?

Personally, I would suggest she do her own research and not contact me for a reference. She's supposed to leave under the terms of the program. If she's applying for a student visa (and not working) or getting married and applying for citizenship through her spouse, that's different.

If she's planning on stay in the country undocumented, this is the first step that she will need to conquer on her own of a long line of challenges. You have been a good host family and given her the experience and the opportunity that she is now going to use to get another job. I would encourage her to sign up for the apps and network but considering how many aupairs are on the babysitting and nanny apps, I don't think your aupair has any issue with finding out 'how' to get work. She may want you to vouch for her when she gets to the point of references.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with previous poster. I did not proactively help her search but told her I was happy to provide recommendation to anyone

Thanks!!

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel comfortable coordinating directly but I would share with her recommendations of actions she might consider (and any appropriate caution).

Thanks for a helpful response

Agree with previous poster. I did not proactively help her search but told her I was happy to provide recommendation to anyone

I wouldn't feel comfortable coordinating directly but I would share with her recommendations of actions she might consider (and any appropriate caution).

Anonymous wrote: She can figure out how to post an ad.

Ha...thanks, I guess?

She's not on any of the neighborhood listservs...

She can figure out how to post an ad.

Our Au Pair wants to stay after her time with us ends in a few weeks.

We love her, but have decided to stick with the program/pay above the table, etc. and have a new au pair arriving soon.

Would you all help her find a position, knowing it will have to be under the table (i.e. post her ad, etc.)?