Lemme tell you something-if OP has been loosey goosey with the first two trips it simply doesn't sound like the two parties sat down and came up with a game plan. Sit down and talk and come to an agreement but if you haven't done that and your nanny is willing to work but you feel unsafe ans do not need their services for a period of time but expect them to come back later forget it. Nannies are not seasonal laborers (no diss to seasonal laborers).

During a pandemic, you absolutely CAN dictate what your employer/employer does on their off time! Even in normal times, you can in e tremendous cases (participating in risky behavior that reflects poorly on employer; anything illegal or immoral).

OP messed up in not making expectations clear from the get-go.

Our nanny sees no one but us and we see no one but nanny. We both make masked trips to the grocery store just once a week and everything else is delivered. No one travels anywhere. Nanny and I have both gotten our hair cut by the same stylist outside just twice. We made the agreement and we’ve stuck by it.

At this point, OP, I would insist on unpaid quarantine for the nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This discussion is fascinating to me. I mean I hate to be unPC but most of us are women right? And in terms of setting a precedent you mean what happens in the future if there's another pandemic? Seriously? A lot of us are working under contracts that were designed before a pandemic. Let's all think about ways to support each other rather than nannies and MBs always thinking the other one is trying to game them. (Also keep in mind nannies do not have some of the same perks (health insurance, being able to work from home, HR dept., etc.). This situation is very unique and you cannot control what another person does on their own time.

Not giving sufficient notice when time off needed and the actual PTO unrelated to the virus is a completely separate issue.


Also nannies-it is NOT unreasonable for your employers to ask to get a Covid test if they are willing to give you the time off to get it. It's been a year now. If you value your family you should have had a sit down discussion about expectations in terms of the current situation a long time ago.

It's true that you can't control what someone does on their own time. But you can decide that you don't want someone with risky behavior to work for you.

And that is simply because nanny contracts are basically unenforceable. In most other situations it wouldn't be that simple.

Anonymous wrote:This discussion is fascinating to me. I mean I hate to be unPC but most of us are women right? And in terms of setting a precedent you mean what happens in the future if there's another pandemic? Seriously? A lot of us are working under contracts that were designed before a pandemic. Let's all think about ways to support each other rather than nannies and MBs always thinking the other one is trying to game them. (Also keep in mind nannies do not have some of the same perks (health insurance, being able to work from home, HR dept., etc.). This situation is very unique and you cannot control what another person does on their own time.

Not giving sufficient notice when time off needed and the actual PTO unrelated to the virus is a completely separate issue.


Also nannies-it is NOT unreasonable for your employers to ask to get a Covid test if they are willing to give you the time off to get it. It's been a year now. If you value your family you should have had a sit down discussion about expectations in terms of the current situation a long time ago.

It's true that you can't control what someone does on their own time. But you can decide that you don't want someone with risky behavior to work for you.

This discussion is fascinating to me. I mean I hate to be unPC but most of us are women right? And in terms of setting a precedent you mean what happens in the future if there's another pandemic? Seriously? A lot of us are working under contracts that were designed before a pandemic. Let's all think about ways to support each other rather than nannies and MBs always thinking the other one is trying to game them. (Also keep in mind nannies do not have some of the same perks (health insurance, being able to work from home, HR dept., etc.). This situation is very unique and you cannot control what another person does on their own time.

Not giving sufficient notice when time off needed and the actual PTO unrelated to the virus is a completely separate issue.


Also nannies-it is NOT unreasonable for your employers to ask to get a Covid test if they are willing to give you the time off to get it. It's been a year now. If you value your family you should have had a sit down discussion about expectations in terms of the current situation a long time ago.

I’d suggest updating your contract. She’s traveled 3x since November, so I’m sure she’ll be traveling more within this year. I would have a talk with her and let her know moving forward, if she travels then she is not to return until a) a negative covid test is provided or b) wear a mask inside the home until negative test is provided. You can also require that after any traveling, she not take an additional 2 days using paid or unpaid leave. I think that’s more than fair or find someone else. You shouldn’t have to keep paying for her to quarantine when you aren’t the one that exposed her- now if you were exposed and asked her to quarantine, then yes, you pay her.

Anonymous wrote:If she is willing to come to work and you ask her to take time off you need to pay her and not take the time you requested away from her PTO. I know it sucks but again you are requesting she take time off, she is not asking for that time off.

No. That’s true in normal times but not during a pandemic. I’d tell her that she’ll have five days unpaid off to quarantine after she gets back - she can use vacation time, PTO, or unpaid. And she must have a negative covid test to return to work.

-nanny here.

Anonymous wrote:Is she vaccinated? (Nannies are eligible in the whole DMV now) If she is going on a plane to have a fun weekend with friends in a hotel, I would be less concerned with how to handle quarantine, and more concerned about her choices in general. This is not the time to be traveling with friends, very irresponsible and I would not want her caring for my kids. She is likely going to bars and restaurants on the weekends as well. I am a nanny and I have been in a small bubble with my nanny family and my husband and 9 yr old for a year. It’s hard but it’s necessary. We openly communicate any and all possible “risky” activities with one another, that don’t exceed going to the grocery store or going on a hike with a friend (masked). Find yourself a professional!

This. I’m the reason my employers can work, but I’m also the reason they are more careful.

Is she vaccinated? (Nannies are eligible in the whole DMV now) If she is going on a plane to have a fun weekend with friends in a hotel, I would be less concerned with how to handle quarantine, and more concerned about her choices in general. This is not the time to be traveling with friends, very irresponsible and I would not want her caring for my kids. She is likely going to bars and restaurants on the weekends as well. I am a nanny and I have been in a small bubble with my nanny family and my husband and 9 yr old for a year. It’s hard but it’s necessary. We openly communicate any and all possible “risky” activities with one another, that don’t exceed going to the grocery store or going on a hike with a friend (masked). Find yourself a professional!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is willing to come to work and you ask her to take time off you need to pay her and not take the time you requested away from her PTO. I know it sucks but again you are requesting she take time off, she is not asking for that time off.

But you are setting up the precedent that whenever she takes a three-day weekend, she gets additional time off for quarantine. Hint: the nanny that is flying and staying in a hotel with friends is not going to quarantine, she’s going to go to the gym and dine in restaurants.

So you’ve got to decide whether you are OK with that.

FWIW, I was in a similar position and decided I was just stuck with her. The alternative is quitting your job and taking care of your own kids. The nanny is an employee. She doesn’t love your family. She might “care” that your family is high risk, but not really. Look what she’s willing to tell you she’s doing.

I figured nanny hasn’t given us Covid yet, but it’s definitely a risk and I’m not happy about it.

Cue a bunch of MBs and the “bubble” they have with their nanny. These women are delusional if they think their nanny is only seeing YOU a year into this.

OP here.

Yes, this will be the third time that our nanny has taken such a trip since November. I've been giving her paid time off, but this is difficult and expensive for me to manage. I have an intense work schedule and it's hard for me to take a week or so off to accommodate her traveling.

Making things harder, the nanny gives me little notice -- ranging from just one day to a week. I've told her before to give me at least a few weeks of notice but she doesn't do it.

I'm starting to feel like the nanny is taking advantage of me.

Well, yes, she know that if she takes PTO, you’ll give her even more PTO. Who wouldn’t want that??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is willing to come to work and you ask her to take time off you need to pay her and not take the time you requested away from her PTO. I know it sucks but again you are requesting she take time off, she is not asking for that time off.

But you are setting up the precedent that whenever she takes a three-day weekend, she gets additional time off for quarantine. Hint: the nanny that is flying and staying in a hotel with friends is not going to quarantine, she’s going to go to the gym and dine in restaurants.

So you’ve got to decide whether you are OK with that.

FWIW, I was in a similar position and decided I was just stuck with her. The alternative is quitting your job and taking care of your own kids. The nanny is an employee. She doesn’t love your family. She might “care” that your family is high risk, but not really. Look what she’s willing to tell you she’s doing.

I figured nanny hasn’t given us Covid yet, but it’s definitely a risk and I’m not happy about it.

Cue a bunch of MBs and the “bubble” they have with their nanny. These women are delusional if they think their nanny is only seeing YOU a year into this.

OP here.

Yes, this will be the third time that our nanny has taken such a trip since November. I've been giving her paid time off, but this is difficult and expensive for me to manage. I have an intense work schedule and it's hard for me to take a week or so off to accommodate her traveling.

Making things harder, the nanny gives me little notice -- ranging from just one day to a week. I've told her before to give me at least a few weeks of notice but she doesn't do it.

I'm starting to feel like the nanny is taking advantage of me.

Anonymous wrote:If she is willing to come to work and you ask her to take time off you need to pay her and not take the time you requested away from her PTO. I know it sucks but again you are requesting she take time off, she is not asking for that time off.

But you are setting up the precedent that whenever she takes a three-day weekend, she gets additional time off for quarantine. Hint: the nanny that is flying and staying in a hotel with friends is not going to quarantine, she’s going to go to the gym and dine in restaurants.

So you’ve got to decide whether you are OK with that.

FWIW, I was in a similar position and decided I was just stuck with her. The alternative is quitting your job and taking care of your own kids. The nanny is an employee. She doesn’t love your family. She might “care” that your family is high risk, but not really. Look what she’s willing to tell you she’s doing.

I figured nanny hasn’t given us Covid yet, but it’s definitely a risk and I’m not happy about it.

Cue a bunch of MBs and the “bubble” they have with their nanny. These women are delusional if they think their nanny is only seeing YOU a year into this.

However I do think it is perfectly reasonable to ask her to get tested. There are free testing sites all over and insurance will also pay for rapid tests. I was sick for a couple of days with a stomach virus and my employers asked me to get a rapid test before returning to work and I was able to do so early in the morning and got the results three hours later so that was all the time I missed. Of course they paid me for the three hours and my insurance covered the test.

If she is willing to come to work and you ask her to take time off you need to pay her and not take the time you requested away from her PTO. I know it sucks but again you are requesting she take time off, she is not asking for that time off.

My nanny is flying for a weekend trip and I want to avoid risk from her possible Covid exposure. On the flight and at her hotel with friends she'll possibly become infected.

Is it OK to ask the nanny to take time off once she's back and get a Covid test? For time off, she could either use paid vacation or unpaid leave. I suppose I could even give her an extra week of paid vacation.

What's the best way to handle minimizing my family's risk from her risky behavior? We have three high-risk family members, so it's very important to limit our possible Covid exposure.

I guess what I'm really trying to pinpoint is what's a reasonable request. I don't want to be intrusive. But I must protect my family.