Op, I think you are reading into this the wrong way.

She wanted you to change your clothes because she was worried about Covid germs. Sometimes kids notice weird things. One of DS' friends once commented on the fact that I changed my lipstick color from my usual one!!

Did something change with your self esteem lately?

Nanny here. Maybe you should be a little more specific about your first Post. So you MB tells you like: "ohhh Ana I can see you like really tight clothes" or " Ohhh Ana... I think you are showing to much breast with that blouse" or " I don't think I would be wearing that kind of clothes if I were over my 40s" or " Ohhh Ana.. I guess you must love your outfit bcs I can see you wear it always every day" or " ohhh Ana.. I think something smells bad around here (when she is next to you)" or " Ohhh Ana.. you don't feel cold wearing that short and showing off your legs?" Or " I always make sure to wash my hair when I see my hair gets too greasy bcs I hate it. What about you Ana?". I was just trying to guess a little more in details what kind or comments your MB tells you. That way Moms here and Nannies here can help a little with some advices.

If she doesn't like your clothes then she can buy clothes that she likes for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is she saying about your clothes, OP? That they're dirty? Your post is not clear. Our nanny wears jeans and sweatshirts or tshirts.

OP. She is not directly saying my clothes are dirty, but when the pandemic started it was 'it would be a good idea to bring extra clothes so you can change when you get here.' that I was cool with. Recently one of the sons commented that I finally changed my rings (??? Who does that????

I want to say once and for all, "What I wear is my business. It is rude for you to police other people's clothing or other choices when they come into your house, or just in general."

The first comment made at the start of the pandemic wasn’t a criticism. At the beginning, we were worried about covid germs sticking to clothes. I know a few newborn-care nannies who always change into fresh clothes when they arrive at work.

Who cares what the kids say?!! My charge always points out one shirt I have with a tiny hole by the cuff. It’s just kids noticing.

Anonymous wrote:What is she saying about your clothes, OP? That they're dirty? Your post is not clear. Our nanny wears jeans and sweatshirts or tshirts.

OP. She is not directly saying my clothes are dirty, but when the pandemic started it was 'it would be a good idea to bring extra clothes so you can change when you get here.' that I was cool with. Recently one of the sons commented that I finally changed my rings (??? Who does that????

I want to say once and for all, "What I wear is my business. It is rude for you to police other people's clothing or other choices when they come into your house, or just in general."

What is she saying about your clothes, OP? That they're dirty? Your post is not clear. Our nanny wears jeans and sweatshirts or tshirts.

Anonymous wrote:What do you wear to work?

OP again. I wear dark slacks: navy, brown, sometimes black. Like chinos. On days when I take kids out, I will have these outdoor Lands End pants (like rain pants but lined), athletic gear. Often tshirts on top, or blouses with slacks. Lately I guess more of the casual gear because the kids are just dirty, I am running up and down multiple flights of stairs in their house and one of the kids likes to literally wear his food. I will be livid if any of my nice clothes gets ruined, so I do not wear it there! But I do not show up looking like a bum--well I guess to her I do.

Normally I would not care, but the past few weeks the comments and scrutiny seemed excessive. It is one thing to care about if someone's well-being, but this took on more of bullying and almost gaslighting.

Anonymous wrote:Considering quitting. MB increasingly critical and making passive aggressive comments about my clothes, which is almost giving me a complex ab out how I take care of myself (!) I always shower before my shifts, shower in the morning if I stay with the boys overnight, etc. One day I was questioning if my hair looked dirty to her. (we are not the same culture and do not have the same type of hair, but she knows my her hair will not look like mine and v ice versa.)

Just a babysitter, but I understand being a good example to the children. At the same time, this is a physical position, so I will not show up in Chanel and Prada. I almost told her off recently, but decided against it. It is getting to be too much.

OP here. I did not ask MB, I was thinking to myself if she thought my hair was dirty or considered it dirty. Sorry for the confusing grammar.

I am a little confused regarding your post OP.

It was kind of all over the map.

Why on earth would your MomBoss be critiquing your hair, clothing choices or basically your personal hygiene??!

"Jane, you keep making comments about my appearance and it is uncomfortable for me. Do you have a concern about something that relates to my ability to watch the kids?"

Be pleasant, and as unemotional as possible, but it is ok to be direct.

1. Firm up your boundaries. Don’t ask again if how you look is acceptable.

2. Wear clothes that fit, are clean, are comfortable when active with kids, and are free from odors, stains and holes.

3. Wash your hair on whatever schedule you choose to assure that it remains clean enough.

What do you wear to work?

For God’s sake, OP, simply stop engaging in any conversation about your appearance or grooming habits! Why would you ask her if your hair looked dirty?!!

From now on just smile and change the subject when she brings up your appearance.

Why would you ask her if your hair looks dirty? That's not professional PLUS you're inviting someone to critique your looks. So you invited that and now you're upset about it.

Considering quitting. MB increasingly critical and making passive aggressive comments about my clothes, which is almost giving me a complex ab out how I take care of myself (!) I always shower before my shifts, shower in the morning if I stay with the boys overnight, etc. One day I was questioning if my hair looked dirty to her. (we are not the same culture and do not have the same type of hair, but she knows my her hair will not look like mine and v ice versa.)

Just a babysitter, but I understand being a good example to the children. At the same time, this is a physical position, so I will not show up in Chanel and Prada. I almost told her off recently, but decided against it. It is getting to be too much.