Anonymous
02/09/2021 14:22
Subject: Re:New nanny has chronic health issue
I’m OP:
1) Yeah, I’m going to ask her if it’s typical that the condition rears itself around certain times of the month, because it did the last two (though not much of a sample size), when I speak with her generally.
2) To most recent poster: We used to have lots (5-7 independent sitters in rotation, plus same day backup care through Bright Horizons via DH’s work) of reliable, loving backup care. We don’t now because of the pandemic and a high risk immediate family member. But yes, in non-pandemic times, I too would be amazed that people didn’t have multiple options for reliable same-day backup care. It’s not ideal that we don’t right now (and I’m hoping that changes as more people get vaccinated), but we’re not comfortable putting ourselves or our nanny at risk.
1) Yeah, I’m going to ask her if it’s typical that the condition rears itself around certain times of the month, because it did the last two (though not much of a sample size), when I speak with her generally.
2) To most recent poster: We used to have lots (5-7 independent sitters in rotation, plus same day backup care through Bright Horizons via DH’s work) of reliable, loving backup care. We don’t now because of the pandemic and a high risk immediate family member. But yes, in non-pandemic times, I too would be amazed that people didn’t have multiple options for reliable same-day backup care. It’s not ideal that we don’t right now (and I’m hoping that changes as more people get vaccinated), but we’re not comfortable putting ourselves or our nanny at risk.
Anonymous
02/09/2021 13:19
Subject: Re:New nanny has chronic health issue
1. I am amazed at all the people who do not line up backup care. DH and I have a full time nanny for our kids. We have five backup care options in case our nanny gets hit by a bus (or wakes up violently ill).
2. Talk to the nanny. Ask "is it normal for you to get sick twice a month each month? If so, we need to know so we can plan for it." Maybe your nanny has violently heavy periods for the first two days of it. Maybe it's just been food poisoning once and a bad cold the second time. Ask if this is normal for her.
We never give vacation days that have not been earned. And if we had a nanny who asked to take unpaid time regularly, we would say no, that ignores the whole point of vacation days.
2. Talk to the nanny. Ask "is it normal for you to get sick twice a month each month? If so, we need to know so we can plan for it." Maybe your nanny has violently heavy periods for the first two days of it. Maybe it's just been food poisoning once and a bad cold the second time. Ask if this is normal for her.
We never give vacation days that have not been earned. And if we had a nanny who asked to take unpaid time regularly, we would say no, that ignores the whole point of vacation days.
Anonymous
02/09/2021 00:11
Subject: Re:New nanny has chronic health issue
When she had her first round of days, did she disclose what it was? Is it heavy periods so you can be certain that every month it will happen? Or it is sickle cell that happens randomly but more likely to happen on cold days, or it is IBS and she can't predict when she might be debilitated by it?
Or she has been dealing with X condition and while she sometimes needs days off, she doesn't normally have issues. Like could this be a run of bad luck having a bunch of issues in the first month, or will this be the normal pattern. Those are different things.
Or she has been dealing with X condition and while she sometimes needs days off, she doesn't normally have issues. Like could this be a run of bad luck having a bunch of issues in the first month, or will this be the normal pattern. Those are different things.
Anonymous
02/08/2021 20:44
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
She’s probably using the days for interviewing for another position or just because she doesn’t want to come in. If she can’t provide a doctors note than who’s to say she’s actually sick. No way would I take off so much time just starting a new position
Anonymous
02/08/2021 20:29
Subject: Re:New nanny has chronic health issue
Anonymous wrote:While I have sympathy for your Nanny & feel empathetic that she has a chronic health condition - I also think as your Nanny that her dependability is affecting you + your husband in a way that would mean keeping this Nanny on would just cause you both a ton of stress!
If she has called out 4x in a few months, then that shows that she is just unreliable.
Period.
I sympathize w/anyone who has a chronic health issue, trust me but to find out the morning of that your Nanny will not be coming in will effect you and your spouse’s job performance which is unfair.
Did your Nanny let you know about her chronic condition prior to hire?
Or did she began having health issues shortly after beginning her position w/your family??
Perhaps your Nanny would be best suited for a part-time position or even one where the family can be more flexible.
It just sounds like an unsuitable fit and it would be best if you began looking for a brand new replacement.
+1
Good luck!
Anonymous
02/08/2021 20:22
Subject: Re:New nanny has chronic health issue
While I have sympathy for your Nanny & feel empathetic that she has a chronic health condition - I also think as your Nanny that her dependability is affecting you + your husband in a way that would mean keeping this Nanny on would just cause you both a ton of stress!
If she has called out 4x in a few months, then that shows that she is just unreliable.
Period.
I sympathize w/anyone who has a chronic health issue, trust me but to find out the morning of that your Nanny will not be coming in will effect you and your spouse’s job performance which is unfair.
Did your Nanny let you know about her chronic condition prior to hire?
Or did she began having health issues shortly after beginning her position w/your family??
Perhaps your Nanny would be best suited for a part-time position or even one where the family can be more flexible.
It just sounds like an unsuitable fit and it would be best if you began looking for a brand new replacement.
Good luck!
If she has called out 4x in a few months, then that shows that she is just unreliable.
Period.
I sympathize w/anyone who has a chronic health issue, trust me but to find out the morning of that your Nanny will not be coming in will effect you and your spouse’s job performance which is unfair.
Did your Nanny let you know about her chronic condition prior to hire?
Or did she began having health issues shortly after beginning her position w/your family??
Perhaps your Nanny would be best suited for a part-time position or even one where the family can be more flexible.
It just sounds like an unsuitable fit and it would be best if you began looking for a brand new replacement.
Good luck!
Anonymous
02/08/2021 20:10
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
Anonymous wrote:Yes illness happens. But I’ve used two sick days in my 12 year career. I would definitely look at it as a red flag. 1-2 sick days in two months is already a lot.
Everybody doesn’t have the same luck as you and some of us fall sick when starting a new job, catching something from the kids or suffer from chronic illness where they have no control over when symptoms occur. If op likes her nanny, she should have a conversation with her; be sympathetic but also let her know that you need care 5 days per week and if she can’t uphold her end, then maybe she should seek out a part time position. It sucks but everyone has to do what’s best for their own situation.
Anonymous
02/08/2021 14:44
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
Yes illness happens. But I’ve used two sick days in my 12 year career. I would definitely look at it as a red flag. 1-2 sick days in two months is already a lot.
Anonymous
02/08/2021 14:39
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
If you want to keep her, you need to discuss unpaid days so you can pay a backup sitter.
Anonymous
02/08/2021 13:13
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
You need to talk to her that you hired a nanny so you can work and stop fronting the sick leave.
Anonymous
02/08/2021 12:50
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
Anonymous wrote:If she has accrued sick time and vacation and is using it for sick time 1-2 days/month, She’s within reason and I don’t think you can fire her for that.
Is she going into unpaid time off? That’s another issue that could be considered performance.
Yeah, this is the crux of it. She technically hasn’t accrued the sick time yet (per our contract), but we just fronted her the days. I totally understand that this is what sick time is for and that by nature, one doesn’t have much notice. I guess I didn’t expect it to be four days that were all unplanned, in less than two months. If we were following the contract letter of the law, then yes, it would have been unpaid several days ago, as she hasn’t accrued enough days for what she’s taken, but we haven’t been enforcing that. She didn’t disclose previously that it was a chronic condition but did a month ago, the first time she needed a day off.
Anonymous
02/08/2021 12:41
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
how do you know its a chronic illness? Did she directly tell you? Also, she takes the same day off? As in she won't come in the 3rd Monday of every month? I think you need to talk to her and ask her if she needs the same days off every month. if this affects your own work, then def go ahead and get a new nanny. but if you can swing these days and be flexible, than no. I have never worked a nanny job where I am missing 1-2 days a month. of course not everyone or job is the same.
Anonymous
02/08/2021 12:33
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
If she has accrued sick time and vacation and is using it for sick time 1-2 days/month, She’s within reason and I don’t think you can fire her for that.
Is she going into unpaid time off? That’s another issue that could be considered performance.
Is she going into unpaid time off? That’s another issue that could be considered performance.
Anonymous
02/08/2021 12:28
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
Are you sure this is a chronic issue? is it treatable? I would share your concerns and try to work with you to resolve the situation. I feel for her, and you.
Anonymous
02/08/2021 12:25
Subject: New nanny has chronic health issue
Our new full-time nanny has been with us less than two months, and it’s become apparent that she has a chronic health issue where she often (twice a month thus far) cancels on us, same day. She has paid sick days, which she’s been using for these (and in theory, this is the point of them), but I am concerned that at this rate, she’s going to go through all her sick days and paid vacation very quickly, as she’s already used four days in less than two months. Likewise, it’s been struggle for us to find out the morning of that she’s not coming in, but again, I guess that’s the nature of sick days? Do we just keep going as-is, deal with the random 1-2 days/month where she can’t come, and eventually she takes unpaid leave? Or is this a red flag and should I start proactively looking for a new nanny?