Anonymous wrote:She can take PTO for whatever reason she wants, no?

-MB

Not necessarily with that little notice!

~nanny

She can take PTO for whatever reason she wants, no?

-MB

Anonymous wrote:Ugh.

This would be a nightmare for us, and it would be the reason we would never hire/employ someone with that kind of setup.

I have always tried to make these kinds of requests work. I figure in the big picture nothing trumps safety, and in the long run I want to be a kind and decent person. But I would also be clear on how much of a hardship it is and try to see if there's a way to split the difference. Does she need a half day off or could she leave a couple of hours early, and would that enable you or your husband to not suffer as significant a work bind?

I don't think I'd pay her time and a half - that sets up a precedent and/or implies that you're actually asking her to go above and beyond the scope of her job - which you're not.

No matter how I decided to handle it for this instance it would make me start planning to change nannies. She may be Nanny Poppins but someone who lives 3 hours away is not a viable solution for daily childcare for exactly this kind of reason.

This. and what would you do if she's sick? you'd be in a pinch as well. I'd say give her the day off. paid. and either find a ton of back up or hire a nanny that doesn't live 3 hrs away.

Did you know when you hired her that she lived 3 hrs away? Did it not occur to you at the time of hire that this maybe an issue?
What is in your contract as far as 1. Inclement weather and 2. Pto requests (as far as time needed for any requests)
What happens if your nanny is sick or gets injured and you have nothing in place for back up care?

Is the fact that she doesn't live in on weekends her choice, or your choice OP?

If it is her choice, I'd say no. She can stay at your house over the weekend if she doesn't feel safe driving.


If it is YOUR choice, then yes, I think you should accommodate her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You really need to have a backup childcare plan exactly for things like this. I mean, your nanny lives OUT OF STATE! This is a ridiculous job for her, and a ridiculous pick of nannies for you.

Our nanny can walk to their house from ours. But we also have four different people we can ask to cover the kids in a pinch.

She's not asking to go on a trip or take the time off because it's her birthday - she's asking for a safety reason. You'd be quite an asshole to say no to that.

What kind of backup childcare plan do you have? Like I have people I could call if I needed to rush to my husband in the ER; I do not have people I could call because I had an important meeting.

I'll answer for non-Covid times, because we are all working from home now for the most part.
1. DH and I, with notice, can work from home after re-arranging some meetings.
2. We can fly MIL in if we have enough notice.
3. A local friend is a writer who works from home and can come by in a pinch.
4. The single childless neighbor who lives across the street can come by in an even shorter pinch (or the kids can go there).
5. My friend's retired and widowed dad can help out - he's great if one kid needs to stay home sick because he'll sit and read and color with them for hours.

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t she drive home Thursday night after work

Some people can’t/shouldn’t drive at night but are okay during the day.

Why can’t she drive home Thursday night after work

Anonymous wrote:You really need to have a backup childcare plan exactly for things like this. I mean, your nanny lives OUT OF STATE! This is a ridiculous job for her, and a ridiculous pick of nannies for you.

Our nanny can walk to their house from ours. But we also have four different people we can ask to cover the kids in a pinch.

She's not asking to go on a trip or take the time off because it's her birthday - she's asking for a safety reason. You'd be quite an asshole to say no to that.

What kind of backup childcare plan do you have? Like I have people I could call if I needed to rush to my husband in the ER; I do not have people I could call because I had an important meeting.

You really need to have a backup childcare plan exactly for things like this. I mean, your nanny lives OUT OF STATE! This is a ridiculous job for her, and a ridiculous pick of nannies for you.

Our nanny can walk to their house from ours. But we also have four different people we can ask to cover the kids in a pinch.

She's not asking to go on a trip or take the time off because it's her birthday - she's asking for a safety reason. You'd be quite an asshole to say no to that.

If your nanny lives 3 hours away, but isn’t comfortable driving in snow, she needs to live somewhere that it never snows. That, or she needs to find a family who is okay with live-in during the week, and she could go home weekends that aren’t inclement weather.

Ugh.

This would be a nightmare for us, and it would be the reason we would never hire/employ someone with that kind of setup.

I have always tried to make these kinds of requests work. I figure in the big picture nothing trumps safety, and in the long run I want to be a kind and decent person. But I would also be clear on how much of a hardship it is and try to see if there's a way to split the difference. Does she need a half day off or could she leave a couple of hours early, and would that enable you or your husband to not suffer as significant a work bind?

I don't think I'd pay her time and a half - that sets up a precedent and/or implies that you're actually asking her to go above and beyond the scope of her job - which you're not.

No matter how I decided to handle it for this instance it would make me start planning to change nannies. She may be Nanny Poppins but someone who lives 3 hours away is not a viable solution for daily childcare for exactly this kind of reason.

Offer her time and a half to cover for you.

If she’s using her earned PTO, I’d give it to her. This is a valid reason. She’s giving you notice. Having kids kinda sucks sometimes.

Our nanny lives out of state. She stays with us during the week and goes to her home on the weekend. It’s a three hr drive. She does not feel comfortable driving in snow. She is taking Fri off, but just asked tonight if she could have a half day on Thursday because it’s forecast to snow on Friday when she was planning to drive home. This puts my husband and I in a bind - we both have to be in the office on Thursday. This would require us to find backup care which we aren’t comfortable with during the pandemic or tell our managers we can’t come in. I of course don’t want our nanny in an unsafe position. But it also reflects poorly on us work-wise. One of the few times we need to be in the office and we each have to bail. I’m just frustrated and need some unbiased advice on how to respond to my nanny. Do I share that this is an inconvenience? Do I ask her if she could wait another day to see if the forecast changes?