Sounds like you need a new nanny.

Anonymous wrote:I’d say “thanks for great year, but unfortunately we can’t accommodate your absence and so your position will end on (date).”

You don’t need to feel guilty.

This, and your toddler will never remember her.

Anonymous wrote:It's only 6.5 weeks because of the pandemic. Can you really hold her responsible for that? I am not sure.

It's still one month travel. Most nannies understand that you don't do that in the first year with a family...

It's only 6.5 weeks because of the pandemic. Can you really hold her responsible for that? I am not sure.

6.5 weeks out? She should expect to be replaced.

It sounds like this is your first nanny.

1 - constant lateness is an issue. This should have been brought up sooner.

2 - she should not be telling you her plans. She should be requesting time off to make plans. Then you can approve or deny them.

3 - if you don't have a contract, you absolutely must get one for the next nanny.

4 - let this nanny go. Plenty of nannies will love your child.

I would also like to go on a 1 month international vacation. Alas... real life.

-MB

Constant lateness is close to a deal breaker for me.

An extended leave, for vacation, on barely a year of employment is an invitation to be let go IMO.

We made a 6 week leave work once for our nanny. She'd been with us for 3 years, her mother had died (out of the country) and she ended up needing surgery during that time. It was a pretty major hardship but we wanted to do it. But your scenario is completely different.

I would take this as an opportunity to wish her well and replace her. And if she offers to amend her vacation I'd still end the employment because of the lateness combined w/ the presumptiveness of the vacation request.

Also, strengthen your contract w/ the next nanny so you don't have to entertain a request like this.

Nanny here-

That is an unreasonable request, and your nanny should expect to be replaced. I rolled over my vacation time from 2020, and agreed with my boss that I will take two 2wk trips instead of one big one. Also, a lot of nannies from Central America or Mexico often take long trips and then never come back.

Constantly being late would drive me nuts and a 6.5 week absence is a complete deal breaker.

I do not welcome employees taking unpaid time off. Highly doubt your nanny has accrued four weeks of vacation in her first year of working for you.

I'd just hire a new nanny. And I'd explain that to them during the hiring process.

Don't feel guilty OP. She is lucky you haven't already let her go despite being more than 15 minutes late on a regular basis. Traveling internationally for anything less than an emergency at this time is plain ridiculous, as is expecting her nanny family of less than one year to accommodate 6 weeks off.

I have been a nanny for over 20 years. Other than the two specific situations highlighted below, I have never asked for more than 8 consecutive days off for my vacations. I always try to consider and plan around my nanny families needs, and consult with them before planning any vacation which requires more than a few days off.

In 2008, I took a 3.5 week trip to Europe. I specifically planned it for a time when my nanny families didn't need me: At the time, I worked during the school year with one family whose parents were both school teachers at a private school, and a second family who employed me during the summers when their children were out of public school. There was always a gap of a week or two between when the teachers no longer needed me and when the summer family needed me to start. So, I arranged my trip with both families, departing 5 days before my term ended with the school teacher family -- they were able to have the grandparents cover those days, and then I used the 2 week gap between families, and instead of starting with the summer family on that following Monday, I returned to work on Wednesday, so the summer family only needed to cover two days without me. That worked well for everyone.

In 2019, after working as a full time nanny for 20 years, I wanted to fulfill one of my bucket list trips and visit Australia. I had already been with my nanny family for 4 years, and spoke with MB in January 2019, explaining my plans and asking for her input on if it was possible on their end and how to make it work. Together, we worked it out so that my trip didn't majorly inconvenience them: I normally had about two weeks off over Christmas and New Year's when they didn't need my help anyway, so I just planned my trip during that time. I left December 20th, and returned on January 12th (resuming work Monday Jan 13th). In that way, I was able to be gone for 3.5 weeks, but because the first 2 weeks fell on Christmas week and New year's week, when I normally wasn't working anyway, it was effectively only inconveniencing my nanny family for one week (January 6th-10th)

The point is, it is entirely possible for a nanny to travel and take time off in a responsible way that doesn't drastically inconvenience her employer. It doesn't sound like your nanny respects or values your need for reliable childcare, as evidenced both by her frequent tardiness as well as her expectation to be able to take more than 4 weeks off without any effort to compromise with you on the timing or duration of her trip.

Don't feel one bit guilty OP. I hope you are able to find a more reliable nanny!

I’d say “thanks for great year, but unfortunately we can’t accommodate your absence and so your position will end on (date).”

You don’t need to feel guilty.

Your toddler can still see your nanny after she leaves your employ. The parting can be slow - seeing her once a week until she leaves for her trip and FaceTime.

I honestly don’t see that you have a real option, OP. A six week vacation after a year of work is ridiculous.

Our nanny has been with us for a little less than a year. She has a loving relationship with our toddler so we have looked aside her other flaws such as being constantly late for work (defined as at least 15 min late).

She just told us she plans on going on a month long vacation to a developing country (where it is questionable how controlled covid is). Since it is intl travel, we would also ask her to quarantine for two weeks. That means 6.5 weeks of absence.

My husband and i work full time, and i am heavily pregnant with a second child. We have no family who could help in town.

At this point we are inclined to start looking for a new nanny.

But we still feel very guilty. Especially that my toddler loves her so.

What would you have done?