Anonymous wrote:Maybe you don't just have a safe house. Sometimes you have to work in the house where they will let knife on the floor and think that the nanny by magical way will notice the knife on the floor.

OP: nope, definitely not it. And even if the issue was that the nanny was having difficulty navigating all the many hazards strewn about, that really wouldn’t explain away all the other reliability issues with her. But in this case, our safety concerns were entirely things under her purview and that have nothing to do with something like us having an “unsafe” house.

Maybe you don't just have a safe house. Sometimes you have to work in the house where they will let knife on the floor and think that the nanny by magical way will notice the knife on the floor.

Let her go before the holidays and give her the bonus as a severance. It will still be the pandemic in January. There is no reason to draw this out.

OP here...thanks everyone. She is a pretty terrible nanny, but I just feel guilty letting someone go during the pandemic, especially because I can’t in good conscience be a reference (and because we can afford to be generous). My husband thinks I’m being too generous, but it’s all karma, right?!

OP, if this Nanny has compromised the safety of your child(ren), than I wouldn’t give her anything extra added to her regular pay.

Was her infraction truly negligent??

Plus after only four months on-the-job, anything extra you would give her would be way beyond generous.

Anonymous wrote:When are planning to tell her? If you plan to give two weeks before the new year, I would do Christmas "gift" that is small and severance and the conversation all the sa.e day and never see Nanny again.

If she already knows, then a bonus for a gift and then severance is fine

It sounds like OP is planning for shortly into the New Year.

When are planning to tell her? If you plan to give two weeks before the new year, I would do Christmas "gift" that is small and severance and the conversation all the sa.e day and never see Nanny again.

If she already knows, then a bonus for a gift and then severance is fine

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, does anyone have personal opinions on if they’d rather: 1) Have it be mixed messages but more cash overall, or 2) Have it be a consistent message with a very low bonus?

I would give that money as severance.

Giving the money as a bonus might make her feel that she's on solid footing, and she might spend it on something she wouldn't otherwise do. If your intention is to give her money to tide it over, then you should give it after you let her know you will not need her further.

+1. Give the bonus as severance.

Anonymous wrote:Okay, does anyone have personal opinions on if they’d rather: 1) Have it be mixed messages but more cash overall, or 2) Have it be a consistent message with a very low bonus?

I would give that money as severance.

Giving the money as a bonus might make her feel that she's on solid footing, and she might spend it on something she wouldn't otherwise do. If your intention is to give her money to tide it over, then you should give it after you let her know you will not need her further.

Anonymous wrote:I would not give the bonus. Instead I would give a gift like PP suggested - a gift card or something like that.

Then, when you give her notice, I would add whatever you would have given as bonus to her severance amount. That way you're not mixing the messages and you're still giving her cash so she's not in a lurch.

I like this idea...thank you so much!

I would not give the bonus. Instead I would give a gift like PP suggested - a gift card or something like that.

Then, when you give her notice, I would add whatever you would have given as bonus to her severance amount. That way you're not mixing the messages and you're still giving her cash so she's not in a lurch.

If she has been there less than half a year I do not think you give a full bonus.
You cold do a Targett gift card or something for $100 to acknowledge the holiday.

Okay, does anyone have personal opinions on if they’d rather: 1) Have it be mixed messages but more cash overall, or 2) Have it be a consistent message with a very low bonus?

Yes, it’s a very mixed message. Otoh, I applaud your generosity.

Our new (4 months) nanny has had a number of reoccurring and frequent issues, from reliability to child safety, so we’re going to give her notice at the beginning of January. I know that typically the bonus amount is based on/indicative of performance, and in her case, it should be little to nothing. That being said, I still want to give her the full bonus amount, just so she has the cash, because it’s never my desire to leave anyone in a financial lurch. Is that confusing though, if I do that? Like, is it mixed messages?