Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 19:08     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
I’d say the nanny negotiated her Christmas bonus and put it in her contract. No way would I be giving another “Christmas” bonus in December.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:58     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
Anonymous wrote:My friend told me her five year old son is still grieving the separation of his long term nanny. She said she didn’t realize how attached he was to her. She thought not talking about it would make him forget about her, and is now trying out play therapy.



+1. DH had a nanny from zero to three when she suddenly died. His parents told him that his nanny had to go away but loved him and then stopped talking about her. Although he’s always been especially close to his mother, the nanny just vanishing one day rocked his world and he had issues as an adolescent with trust and abandonment.

Later, as an adult, he had a very smart therapist who listened to him and one day asked, “who loved you and left you as a child?” He was flabbergasted as he only vaguely remembers his nanny. The therapist explained that it was early imprinting and what he carried with him was that someone he depended on disappeared.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:10     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
My friend told me her five year old son is still grieving the separation of his long term nanny. She said she didn’t realize how attached he was to her. She thought not talking about it would make him forget about her, and is now trying out play therapy.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 13:13     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The one family that got to have me as long as they needed me (8 years), gave me a full months' pay every Dec. They REALLY appreciated how well their child was developing.


this is just silly. You don't need to give a months' pay every year to keep a nanny.
Would it be amazing? Of course! Completely out of the 'norm,' though.

How many different nannies has your child had? Think about it. Some parents prefer just one, if they could be so fortunate.

Even parents who are super nice and can afford generous compensation, aren't always so lucky. Staying with the same family for several years is often a sacrifice for the nanny.

The more nannies you have, the more problems you should anticipate down the road. Caregiver stability during early childhood, especially during the first three foundational years of life, is critical.

What has your pediatrician told you about this?
Parents should consider the potential long term consequences of uprooting important primary childhood relationships. How many daytime hours a week you depend on nanny care is an important factor. An occasional date night sitter doesn't matter so much.


1. I'm a former nanny.
2. You're right. Kids never change caregivers. That's why kids have the exact same daycare teachers every single day, year after year...oh wait... They don't. Listen, consistency is important, I'm not arguing that. But to insinuate that parents don't appreciate their nanny if they don't give them a full months' pay is absurd. We don't need to derail this thread into yet another pay argument.

OP - there are other factors to consider. We don't know what the overall compensation package is, how many children you have, etc. I don't think a full week bonus in addition to the December bonus is necessary, but you also don't mention how long the nanny has been with you and what you've done in prior years. I'd be inclined to at least give a partial week, based on your post.




You cannot compare a daycare teacher to a nanny. (A caregiver to many vs the child’s sole caregiver, in his/her home). A nanny is much, much more of a security figure for the child. It is damaging to have one nanny simply disappear after a few years of the child depending and loving her. It’s been proven and, quite frankly, common sense.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 12:25     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
Thanks everyone for feedback. The nanny started in August. We’ve never had a nanny before, we pulled our 2 kids from preschool and first grade. We aren’t wealthy by any means and certainly couldn’t afford a months pay. We could definitely swing a weeks pay but a week plus a bonus is probably more than we can do. This is all new to me.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 11:14     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The one family that got to have me as long as they needed me (8 years), gave me a full months' pay every Dec. They REALLY appreciated how well their child was developing.


this is just silly. You don't need to give a months' pay every year to keep a nanny.
Would it be amazing? Of course! Completely out of the 'norm,' though.

How many different nannies has your child had? Think about it. Some parents prefer just one, if they could be so fortunate.

Even parents who are super nice and can afford generous compensation, aren't always so lucky. Staying with the same family for several years is often a sacrifice for the nanny.

The more nannies you have, the more problems you should anticipate down the road. Caregiver stability during early childhood, especially during the first three foundational years of life, is critical.

What has your pediatrician told you about this?
Parents should consider the potential long term consequences of uprooting important primary childhood relationships. How many daytime hours a week you depend on nanny care is an important factor. An occasional date night sitter doesn't matter so much.


1. I'm a former nanny.
2. You're right. Kids never change caregivers. That's why kids have the exact same daycare teachers every single day, year after year...oh wait... They don't. Listen, consistency is important, I'm not arguing that. But to insinuate that parents don't appreciate their nanny if they don't give them a full months' pay is absurd. We don't need to derail this thread into yet another pay argument.

OP - there are other factors to consider. We don't know what the overall compensation package is, how many children you have, etc. I don't think a full week bonus in addition to the December bonus is necessary, but you also don't mention how long the nanny has been with you and what you've done in prior years. I'd be inclined to at least give a partial week, based on your post.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 10:35     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The one family that got to have me as long as they needed me (8 years), gave me a full months' pay every Dec. They REALLY appreciated how well their child was developing.


this is just silly. You don't need to give a months' pay every year to keep a nanny.
Would it be amazing? Of course! Completely out of the 'norm,' though.

How many different nannies has your child had? Think about it. Some parents prefer just one, if they could be so fortunate.

Even parents who are super nice and can afford generous compensation, aren't always so lucky. Staying with the same family for several years is often a sacrifice for the nanny.

The more nannies you have, the more problems you should anticipate down the road. Caregiver stability during early childhood, especially during the first three foundational years of life, is critical.

What has your pediatrician told you about this?
Parents should consider the potential long term consequences of uprooting important primary childhood relationships. How many daytime hours a week you depend on nanny care is an important factor. An occasional date night sitter doesn't matter so much.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 09:36     Subject: Re:Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
My performance bonus, given on my anniversary in early January, is written in to my contract but is significantly higher than what you’re giving your nanny. It’s $3500. That said, for Christmas and birthdays, I get nice gifts but no additional bonus.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 09:30     Subject: Re:Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
I started 4 months before Christmas last year and my employer give
Me $2000 for bonus
I was shocked but super grateful
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 09:13     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
Anonymous wrote:The one family that got to have me as long as they needed me (8 years), gave me a full months' pay every Dec. They REALLY appreciated how well their child was developing.


this is just silly. You don't need to give a months' pay every year to keep a nanny.
Would it be amazing? Of course! Completely out of the 'norm,' though.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 08:37     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
Anonymous wrote:The one family that got to have me as long as they needed me (8 years), gave me a full months' pay every Dec. They REALLY appreciated how well their child was developing.

Obviously this was in addition to my regular pay.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 08:35     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
The one family that got to have me as long as they needed me (8 years), gave me a full months' pay every Dec. They REALLY appreciated how well their child was developing.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 08:14     Subject: Re:Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
If it is in the contract then you cant consider it a Christmas bonus. I do not think you need to give a full weeks pay for Christmas though if you are already doing 2 bonus's throughout the year.
Maybe do half a weeks pay for Christmas
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 00:48     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
Anonymous wrote:Our contract with our nanny includes two bonuses paid in June and December (obviously pending no performance issues). I know it’s customary to give a Christmas bonus. The bonus in the contract is about 3/4 of a week of pay. We love the nanny. Is this bonus considered the Christmas bonus? Or do I give that 3/4 week bonus plus a full week pay?


It's not the Christmas bonus. However it's up to you whether or not to add a Christmas bonus.
Anonymous
Post 12/04/2020 21:57     Subject: Bonuses and Christmas bonuses
Our contract with our nanny includes two bonuses paid in June and December (obviously pending no performance issues). I know it’s customary to give a Christmas bonus. The bonus in the contract is about 3/4 of a week of pay. We love the nanny. Is this bonus considered the Christmas bonus? Or do I give that 3/4 week bonus plus a full week pay?