Glad that the kids have fun, but you should really talk to the host family. I had an AP who felt short-changed because we only have one kid (I mean, you knew that during matching!), while her buddies had 3. Meaning, she didn't want to do her job.

Anonymous wrote:Agree you should talk to the host family, as ultimately it's their house. AP may prefer it b/c it's easier for her to entertain the kids, but the host family needs to be on board, especially since it's long term and not a one off thing.

Some host families are very by the book, and this would be a no no to them. Others think as long as the AP is happy and the kids are good, everything is fine. It's understood in the latter case that neither AP nor host family would check yes on the monthly check in regarding watching kids not part of the host family.

I would pay, but less than 20/hour.

This - talk to the family. Honor what matters to them and the AP

Because it’s illegal, as a host mom, I would really prefer you gave a very generous gift.

I would pay $10/hr, and if not pay, then is ‘gift’ large amounts in gift cards to Chipotle, stores, Target, etc.

The au pair would great appreciate it.

Agree you should talk to the host family, as ultimately it's their house. AP may prefer it b/c it's easier for her to entertain the kids, but the host family needs to be on board, especially since it's long term and not a one off thing.

Some host families are very by the book, and this would be a no no to them. Others think as long as the AP is happy and the kids are good, everything is fine. It's understood in the latter case that neither AP nor host family would check yes on the monthly check in regarding watching kids not part of the host family.

I would pay, but less than 20/hour.

You DEFINITELY need to talk to the host family about this. They can risk being kicked out of the au pair program for violating the rules. Each family pays to sponsor the visa of their au pair and large agency fees.

And beyond that they may not want to have her teaching your child. The au pair may be willing but the family may suffer from too many children.

If they agree it is a good idea ask them how much you should pay.

It’s a great idea! $20/ hr

This is not a good idea.

It's illegal, a liability issue and you have no ability to hold her accountable. DO NOT DO IT.

1. It isn’t legal.
2. If you agree to it, pay her.

Pay her hourly. $15/hr if she is also teaching her. You are lucky to have this option. Very lucky.

Yes, of course pay her. Since she isn't your domestic worker, you don't have to worry about taxes.

Please pay her. It’s not fair for her to do it for free- no taxes

op here - sorry for the typos! Thanks for advice!

My 7 year old is very close with twin 7 year olds in a family we have “bubbled” with. The au pair regularly asks if she’d like to come play. The 3 kids spend the da entertaining each other well - the au pair told me it’s much easier for her when our daughter is there for play dates and the au pair asks her over often.

There’s a chance we may do distance learning togehter this fall. (I think this is a great idea, but my husband isn’t onboard with sharing inside space during Covid. So far the kids always play outside.) The kids may be in different classrooms and there may be different zooms to manage. Initially I declined because the idea was to take turns teaching which I isn’t realistic with our younger child and our jobs. I need some flexibility about when I teach our 7 year old and can’t commit to teaching 3 of them. The au pair (who is getting an education degree) then said she thought it would be more enjoyable and easier if our child joined in and she could do it each morning. I assume I should pay her something if she’s teaching our child but I don’t know whether this should be hourly like a salary or some flat amount or just a nice gift etc. I also don’t know when / how taxes should kick in.