Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is guy bad news. AP is clearly embarrassed. He would be only very slightly inconvenienced by wearing a bathroom. And yet he does this anyway. It’s some sort of sexual thrill or power trip for him, and he just to get to bat away any outrage as “it’s not a big deal” and “it’s just like shorts!” It’s not. You know it. AP knows it. He knows it.

But what are you going to do about it?

It's really not like that.. believe me if I was even slightly concerned about that I would move out immediately and take her with me. It's more of a - oh shit I forgot. It's happened 2-3 times in a year so not on a regular basis.

Believe me he is well aware his dad bod is not appealing to the under 40 crowd.

First you said, “She is clearly embarrassed and he is as well but will not stop doing it! He thinks he can listen for her and then run across the house. I have asked him to stop and tried to make him understand it is very uncomfortable for her to see him in his boxers. He doesn't seem to think it is that big of a deal - they're just like shorts!”

And then you said, “It’s more of a - oh shit I forgot.”

So, I guess he’s totally not a pervert then. He just forgot. Because he can listen to her. And boxes are just like shorts.

I have been hosting for over 5 years. This has never happened in my house. It is extremely inappropriate, awkward, and odd/nasty.

No one should be forced to run in to their boss in just their boxers. If they are ‘just like shorts’, then suggest that he take a walk around the block like that to see how he and others feel.

I feel like DCUM is the twilight zone sometimes. What kind of man did you marry, that this was not indefinitely corrected the first time that it happened?!?

And your poor au pair, having to worry / time her visits so that every time she needs to go to the bathroom she doesn’t see some old nasty man ... who is her boss ... in his underwear :/.

Not sure if I follow - you share a bath with the ap?
That sucks on so many levels husband walking around naked seems to be least of the host family problems.

But yes, it is creepy for host dad to be caught in his underwear.

Your husband isn’t trying hard enough.

I am an Au pair who had a host who would often come out in his underwear at night. It’s his house and he should feel comfortable but it was also my house for the year and it was very uncomfortable to see my "boss" in his underwear.

The same way I would always get dressed and covered
up before leaving my room out of respect for him.

If you would have a problem with seeing your Au Pair/Boss being around in their underwear. It’s only fair he covers up.

They aren't holy.. Standard loose fitting plaid boxers (TMI?). I'm starting to wonder if I'm overreacting. I remember seeing an uncle in his boxers when I was around that age and found it very awkward.

Boxers don't always have holes or sometimes button closed.

Is the problem that he's wearing only underwear instead of 2 layers of underwear and shorts? Or the type of underwear that might accidentally expose him? Switch out his underwear for ones really more like shorts (no hole) if he won't put on pjs/sweats/robe.

I don't see it as a huge deal. It's his house too and he's not deliberately lounging in the living room in his underwear. This is a few accidental interactions in a hallway to the bathroom.

He's clearly not listening for her loud enough. Once every 4-6 months though is no big deal.

Anonymous wrote:This is guy bad news. AP is clearly embarrassed. He would be only very slightly inconvenienced by wearing a bathroom. And yet he does this anyway. It’s some sort of sexual thrill or power trip for him, and he just to get to bat away any outrage as “it’s not a big deal” and “it’s just like shorts!” It’s not. You know it. AP knows it. He knows it.

But what are you going to do about it?

It's really not like that.. believe me if I was even slightly concerned about that I would move out immediately and take her with me. It's more of a - oh shit I forgot. It's happened 2-3 times in a year so not on a regular basis.

Believe me he is well aware his dad bod is not appealing to the under 40 crowd.

He probably wants her to see him

Ewww gross - he needs to put on sweats every single time day or night

This is guy bad news. AP is clearly embarrassed. He would be only very slightly inconvenienced by wearing a bathroom. And yet he does this anyway. It’s some sort of sexual thrill or power trip for him, and he just to get to bat away any outrage as “it’s not a big deal” and “it’s just like shorts!” It’s not. You know it. AP knows it. He knows it.

But what are you going to do about it?

Anonymous wrote:How long has she been your au pair for? I honestly don't think this is a big deal as long as he's not lounging around in them.

Over a year.. And I'm not sure if I'm more uncomfortable or she is.

How long has she been your au pair for? I honestly don't think this is a big deal as long as he's not lounging around in them.

Anonymous wrote:So because of the way our house is set up, the AP has to come upstairs to use the bathroom. My husband walks from the bathroom across the hall into our bedroom in his boxers leading to him bumping in to her a couple of times. She is clearly embarrassed and he is as well but will not stop doing it! He thinks he can listen for her and then run across the house. I have asked him to stop and tried to make him understand it is very uncomfortable for her to see him in his boxers. He doesn't seem to think it is that big of a deal - they're just like shorts! What do the other HM's and AP's think?

They are underwear and have an opening that can expose genitalia and she is uncomfortable. He needs to stop. Full stop. Get a bathrobe, or better yet throw on some sweats.

So because of the way our house is set up, the AP has to come upstairs to use the bathroom. My husband walks from the bathroom across the hall into our bedroom in his boxers leading to him bumping in to her a couple of times. She is clearly embarrassed and he is as well but will not stop doing it! He thinks he can listen for her and then run across the house. I have asked him to stop and tried to make him understand it is very uncomfortable for her to see him in his boxers. He doesn't seem to think it is that big of a deal - they're just like shorts! What do the other HM's and AP's think?