Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all so hard. I understand that our au pair is going crazy from being in the house for almost the last 2 months, which is not what she signed up for.

At the same time, our family is complying with the stay at home order.

If she went out to hang out with friends and got my children sick, I would never be able to forgive myself for my lapse in judgement.

We need an au pair, but I’m willing to pause the program if it comes down to watching putting my children at risk .

We may let her pick a friend who is also social distancing,!/9 that they can hang out 1:1.

FYI there are a lot of au pairs who are still hanging out in groups and not social distancing. Just make sure that you’re aware of the risks in case he/she accidentally brings the illness home .

This exactly. Our stay at home orders have been lifted, and our AP is out "social distancing" almost every night. I'd love to trust that she's actually doing it, but who knows.

Bottom line is that we are incredibly uncomfortable with it, and might have to part ways. I can't risk my family's health.

You should let the AP go so she can find a more emotionally stable/less exploitative HF.

NP. Why so nasty, PP? My house, my rules. If any AP is not comfortable if my rules, they are welcome to rematch. To the poster who is thinking about letting the AP go, your AP won't have troubles rematching, given how many au pairs have left. At the same time, if was not clear from your post of your AP knows that you are uncomfortable with her going out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all so hard. I understand that our au pair is going crazy from being in the house for almost the last 2 months, which is not what she signed up for.

At the same time, our family is complying with the stay at home order.

If she went out to hang out with friends and got my children sick, I would never be able to forgive myself for my lapse in judgement.

We need an au pair, but I’m willing to pause the program if it comes down to watching putting my children at risk .

We may let her pick a friend who is also social distancing,!/9 that they can hang out 1:1.

FYI there are a lot of au pairs who are still hanging out in groups and not social distancing. Just make sure that you’re aware of the risks in case he/she accidentally brings the illness home .

This exactly. Our stay at home orders have been lifted, and our AP is out "social distancing" almost every night. I'd love to trust that she's actually doing it, but who knows.

Bottom line is that we are incredibly uncomfortable with it, and might have to part ways. I can't risk my family's health.

You should let the AP go so she can find a more emotionally stable/less exploitative HF.

Anonymous wrote:This is all so hard. I understand that our au pair is going crazy from being in the house for almost the last 2 months, which is not what she signed up for.

At the same time, our family is complying with the stay at home order.

If she went out to hang out with friends and got my children sick, I would never be able to forgive myself for my lapse in judgement.

We need an au pair, but I’m willing to pause the program if it comes down to watching putting my children at risk .

We may let her pick a friend who is also social distancing,!/9 that they can hang out 1:1.

FYI there are a lot of au pairs who are still hanging out in groups and not social distancing. Just make sure that you’re aware of the risks in case he/she accidentally brings the illness home .

This exactly. Our stay at home orders have been lifted, and our AP is out "social distancing" almost every night. I'd love to trust that she's actually doing it, but who knows.

Bottom line is that we are incredibly uncomfortable with it, and might have to part ways. I can't risk my family's health.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After two months of this, if the order is lifted, you are still going to chain her to your house. That is called human trafficking and is illegal.

No it's not

We follow social distancing rules. A lift in stay at home orders does not mean social distancing is over. It just means that you can go more places WHILE social distancing. We'd be fine with AP going out as long as the AP follows social distancing guidelines.

Exactly. Our au pair has hinted that as soon as order is lifted she will see (and not social distance with) her bf, who is not social distancing — he sometimes goes to his office and who knows what else. I am stressing over whether to tell her what Will happen now, or wait until the lockdown is over. I feel bad because at that point she will have 1 month on her term and she will likely be unable to rematch for such a short period. On the one hand she knows how we feel but I think she has some sort of magical thinking that we’ll suddenly change course or that we won’t move up the end date if we feel we need to do so. We are not getting a new au pair and just plan to muddle through with telework and kids for the foreseeable future.

Don't keep your AP hanging, if you plan on keeping her indoors even after stay at home order is lifted (which you can't legally do), she needs to know NOW, so she can rematch right now and find a family who will let her do that. Don't keep your AP in your house while it benefits you and screw her over after she pulls through the entire quarantine with you. You already know her intentions so if they don't fit you and you won't let them happen, let her know now so she can decide for herself.

This is all so hard. I understand that our au pair is going crazy from being in the house for almost the last 2 months, which is not what she signed up for.

At the same time, our family is complying with the stay at home order.

If she went out to hang out with friends and got my children sick, I would never be able to forgive myself for my lapse in judgement.

We need an au pair, but I’m willing to pause the program if it comes down to watching putting my children at risk .

We may let her pick a friend who is also social distancing,!/9 that they can hang out 1:1.

FYI there are a lot of au pairs who are still hanging out in groups and not social distancing. Just make sure that you’re aware of the risks in case he/she accidentally brings the illness home .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After two months of this, if the order is lifted, you are still going to chain her to your house. That is called human trafficking and is illegal.

No it's not

We follow social distancing rules. A lift in stay at home orders does not mean social distancing is over. It just means that you can go more places WHILE social distancing. We'd be fine with AP going out as long as the AP follows social distancing guidelines.

Exactly. Our au pair has hinted that as soon as order is lifted she will see (and not social distance with) her bf, who is not social distancing — he sometimes goes to his office and who knows what else. I am stressing over whether to tell her what Will happen now, or wait until the lockdown is over. I feel bad because at that point she will have 1 month on her term and she will likely be unable to rematch for such a short period. On the one hand she knows how we feel but I think she has some sort of magical thinking that we’ll suddenly change course or that we won’t move up the end date if we feel we need to do so. We are not getting a new au pair and just plan to muddle through with telework and kids for the foreseeable future.

Anonymous wrote:After two months of this, if the order is lifted, you are still going to chain her to your house. That is called human trafficking and is illegal.

Please stop using words you don't understand.

Anonymous wrote:After two months of this, if the order is lifted, you are still going to chain her to your house. That is called human trafficking and is illegal.

No it's not

We follow social distancing rules. A lift in stay at home orders does not mean social distancing is over. It just means that you can go more places WHILE social distancing. We'd be fine with AP going out as long as the AP follows social distancing guidelines.

After two months of this, if the order is lifted, you are still going to chain her to your house. That is called human trafficking and is illegal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As states slowly start to reopen, at what point will you be comfortable with your au pair visiting friends / significant others? I have a fairly new au pair, and. I just don’t know when I’ll be comfortable with that. Any thoughts?

Well you can't legally force her to stay-in once orders in place happen to get lifted. If you have imuno-compromised people at home, you can still ask her to try and stick to heightened hygiene and social distancing practises and consider rematch if she doesn't want to but ultimately that's as much as you can do.

You absolutely can request this and head into immediate rematch if she does not comply. There are loads and loads of families looking for AuPairs and she would get snapped up in a matter of a day or 2. Win win.

I say this as someone who currently allows our AuPair to socialize with friends inside and outside our home.

Yup. Pretty much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As states slowly start to reopen, at what point will you be comfortable with your au pair visiting friends / significant others? I have a fairly new au pair, and. I just don’t know when I’ll be comfortable with that. Any thoughts?

Well you can't legally force her to stay-in once orders in place happen to get lifted. If you have imuno-compromised people at home, you can still ask her to try and stick to heightened hygiene and social distancing practises and consider rematch if she doesn't want to but ultimately that's as much as you can do.

You absolutely can request this and head into immediate rematch if she does not comply. There are loads and loads of families looking for AuPairs and she would get snapped up in a matter of a day or 2. Win win.

I say this as someone who currently allows our AuPair to socialize with friends inside and outside our home.

OP here. This all makes sense - thanks so much

Anonymous wrote:As states slowly start to reopen, at what point will you be comfortable with your au pair visiting friends / significant others? I have a fairly new au pair, and. I just don’t know when I’ll be comfortable with that. Any thoughts?

Well you can't legally force her to stay-in once orders in place happen to get lifted. If you have imuno-compromised people at home, you can still ask her to try and stick to heightened hygiene and social distancing practises and consider rematch if she doesn't want to but ultimately that's as much as you can do.

My kids don't have asthma or risk factors so, whenever stay-at-homes get lifted.

As states slowly start to reopen, at what point will you be comfortable with your au pair visiting friends / significant others? I have a fairly new au pair, and. I just don’t know when I’ll be comfortable with that. Any thoughts?