Anonymous
02/17/2020 15:35
Subject: Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
Anonymous wrote:Would this be considered out of line?
I have worked for a family for 18months. The childcare job morphed slowly into dog walking, laundry for baby, laundry for the family, bed linens for parents, making parents beds, putting away groceries, empty dishwasher, and the ultimate---washing the guest's laundry.
I def have boundary issues to go along with all of that.
AND-
These people have a home in another part of the country and will leave for months at a time. Vague about their travel plans, but will contact me a couple of weeks before they return and let me know when they 'need me.' Different hours every day, some weekend, and ALWAYS only when the child was awake, eliminating any possibility of down time to relax the entire day. This time I balked, as I was down for 28 days in the first month, including 55 hours in one week. I responded that this wouldn't work for me. In the future, I would be available only two days a week, as that was the original agreement.
Now the woman is mad, demanding that I work the hours she requested for the next six weeks as she is out of town and not in a position to hire someone else.
I love the kid, and that is what the mother is counting on.
THOUGHTS?
My god. Be thankful you have a job. You are a nanny, and there is lots of downtime where you can be assisting in house-care and etc. You are posting this on a pro-nanny forum so while a lot of the nannies might think this this is out of line, the majority of parents do not. After all your making way more then 15.00 an hour!!
Anonymous
02/16/2020 13:50
Subject: Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
Anonymous wrote:You were a fool for ever letting her take advantage of you to this extent. It is time to move on and in my letter of resignation, I would be specific. People only take advantage of you when you let them. I hope you have learned that in your next position that your duties are clearly defined and in writing. If job creep comes in, whip out contract and charge extra for My new duties. Also, NEVER and I MEAN NEVER agree to any contact with the phrase "and other duties that may be assigned."
“This contract may be amended with additional child-related duties as the situation requires, when all parties agree.”
Anonymous
02/15/2020 17:15
Subject: Re:Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
In response to the questions, no, they do not pay me when they take these random vacations out of town. But they did randomly pop back into town and expect me to be available weeks earlier than they had predicted.
I say that in the past tense, because I QUIT.
I sent a message telling her that I was done, and explained that the hours she'd told me I needed to be there were not acceptable. That we had already gone over this once and that this was NOT the agreement we were working under.
In a rapid response, woman repeatedly called me while I was at the gym and not available to pick up phone. When I finished exercising, I found a message saying how 'confused' she was about my quitting and how 'stressful' it was going to be to find someone else. I was also berated for not giving more notice[3 weeks] and apparently she is oblivious to the fact that they give me far less notice of their plans routinely.
The fact is that this woman is not going to realize what she had until she hires some other poor sucker.
I am really going to miss the little boy but the mom--not so much!
I say that in the past tense, because I QUIT.
I sent a message telling her that I was done, and explained that the hours she'd told me I needed to be there were not acceptable. That we had already gone over this once and that this was NOT the agreement we were working under.
In a rapid response, woman repeatedly called me while I was at the gym and not available to pick up phone. When I finished exercising, I found a message saying how 'confused' she was about my quitting and how 'stressful' it was going to be to find someone else. I was also berated for not giving more notice[3 weeks] and apparently she is oblivious to the fact that they give me far less notice of their plans routinely.
The fact is that this woman is not going to realize what she had until she hires some other poor sucker.
I am really going to miss the little boy but the mom--not so much!
Anonymous
02/15/2020 15:44
Subject: Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
Do they pay you while they’re gone?
Anonymous
02/15/2020 13:09
Subject: Re:Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
This is interesting! OP only wants to work 2 days a week and balks at 55 hours per week! Meanwhile I keep trying to find a PT nanny and every nanny I meet wants 50+ hours!
Anonymous
02/14/2020 15:50
Subject: Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
You were a fool for ever letting her take advantage of you to this extent. It is time to move on and in my letter of resignation, I would be specific. People only take advantage of you when you let them. I hope you have learned that in your next position that your duties are clearly defined and in writing. If job creep comes in, whip out contract and charge extra for My new duties. Also, NEVER and I MEAN NEVER agree to any contact with the phrase "and other duties that may be assigned."
Anonymous
02/14/2020 06:39
Subject: Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
You’re an “at-will” employee. If the schedule doesn’t work for you, give notice. All those responsibilities she better be paying you a SALARY that matches your job description: House Manager|Nanny|Housekeeper.
Anonymous
02/13/2020 17:33
Subject: Re:Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
I appreciate your responses.
It's good to get the perspective of someone whose 'nose' is not in the situation!
This woman is going to have a rude awakening with next 'sucker!'
Thank you!
It's good to get the perspective of someone whose 'nose' is not in the situation!
This woman is going to have a rude awakening with next 'sucker!'
Thank you!
Anonymous
02/13/2020 16:53
Subject: Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
Anonymous wrote:Just keep repeating, "I understand you need someone to work X days for X hours. However, I'm only available for X hours on days Y and Z". She can demand whatever she wants, you don't
If she needs to make other arrangements, she can find another sucker. You have to learn to say no, OP. The only things my nanny does around the house directly relate to childcare - the child's toys, the child's dishes. She doesn't even do laundry beyond making sure our children's dirty laundry and linens go in the hamper.
That should say *you don't have to DO any of it.
Anonymous
02/13/2020 16:53
Subject: Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
Just keep repeating, "I understand you need someone to work X days for X hours. However, I'm only available for X hours on days Y and Z". She can demand whatever she wants, you don't
If she needs to make other arrangements, she can find another sucker. You have to learn to say no, OP. The only things my nanny does around the house directly relate to childcare - the child's toys, the child's dishes. She doesn't even do laundry beyond making sure our children's dirty laundry and linens go in the hamper.
If she needs to make other arrangements, she can find another sucker. You have to learn to say no, OP. The only things my nanny does around the house directly relate to childcare - the child's toys, the child's dishes. She doesn't even do laundry beyond making sure our children's dirty laundry and linens go in the hamper.
Anonymous
02/13/2020 16:05
Subject: Re:Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
They take the kid with them when they leave town on vacation and hire another nanny out there.
I feel like I am in charge of the kid almost all waking hours. Total parental time with the awake child is about an hour a day.
I did not agree to raise this child, I agreed to taking care of him 2 days a week!
How does one gracefully get out of this situation? The kid is more attached to me than the mother which is concerning also!
I feel like I am in charge of the kid almost all waking hours. Total parental time with the awake child is about an hour a day.
I did not agree to raise this child, I agreed to taking care of him 2 days a week!
How does one gracefully get out of this situation? The kid is more attached to me than the mother which is concerning also!
Anonymous
02/13/2020 15:59
Subject: Re:Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
It’s not bullying. However, it’s definitely pushing boundaries. I would suggest that you request a meeting and have your original written agreement with you. Either go back to what was agreed, renegotiate based on requested hours and duties, or part ways.
Anonymous
02/13/2020 15:54
Subject: Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
I’m confused to about who is with the child. This is not bullying. This is taking advantage of you. If you’re unhappy with your work situation then you should quit. Don’t let them use the child as a pawn because they would fire you in a heartbeat regardless of your bond with that child.
Anonymous
02/13/2020 15:40
Subject: Re:Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
I am confused. They both leave and leave the kid in your care 24/7 til they get back? Or they take the kid but want you to be available when they all return. You need to have a sit down meeting with them and discuss all this.
Anonymous
02/13/2020 14:59
Subject: Opinions please! ???Nanny bullying???
Would this be considered out of line?
I have worked for a family for 18months. The childcare job morphed slowly into dog walking, laundry for baby, laundry for the family, bed linens for parents, making parents beds, putting away groceries, empty dishwasher, and the ultimate---washing the guest's laundry.
I def have boundary issues to go along with all of that.
AND-
These people have a home in another part of the country and will leave for months at a time. Vague about their travel plans, but will contact me a couple of weeks before they return and let me know when they 'need me.' Different hours every day, some weekend, and ALWAYS only when the child was awake, eliminating any possibility of down time to relax the entire day. This time I balked, as I was down for 28 days in the first month, including 55 hours in one week. I responded that this wouldn't work for me. In the future, I would be available only two days a week, as that was the original agreement.
Now the woman is mad, demanding that I work the hours she requested for the next six weeks as she is out of town and not in a position to hire someone else.
I love the kid, and that is what the mother is counting on.
THOUGHTS?
I have worked for a family for 18months. The childcare job morphed slowly into dog walking, laundry for baby, laundry for the family, bed linens for parents, making parents beds, putting away groceries, empty dishwasher, and the ultimate---washing the guest's laundry.
I def have boundary issues to go along with all of that.
AND-
These people have a home in another part of the country and will leave for months at a time. Vague about their travel plans, but will contact me a couple of weeks before they return and let me know when they 'need me.' Different hours every day, some weekend, and ALWAYS only when the child was awake, eliminating any possibility of down time to relax the entire day. This time I balked, as I was down for 28 days in the first month, including 55 hours in one week. I responded that this wouldn't work for me. In the future, I would be available only two days a week, as that was the original agreement.
Now the woman is mad, demanding that I work the hours she requested for the next six weeks as she is out of town and not in a position to hire someone else.
I love the kid, and that is what the mother is counting on.
THOUGHTS?