I'll give you my two cents being a former Au Pair (from France).

I won't talk about other countries but in mine it's a mom's job to put the kids to bed (or a dad's).

I get it you can ask a sitter to do it or an Au Pair if you're not home but if you're there, it doesn't make sense TO US.

I do understand you like the help but from her point of view I do belive she doesn't understand it as it simply doesn't make sense culturally speaking.

I am not judging you, just trying to explain why she might seem to disapear once dinner is done.

Now, your house, your rules. So I'd have a talk with her, you can adjust the weekly schedule and ask her more help.

Also, cover your ass and bring it up to the LCC. Any other kind of job and someone would get fired for a pattern of leaving an hour earlier than scheduled all the time.

Another vote for specific guidance, and one thought is that she may feel awkward and not know if you want to have little on on one time with each kid and not want to intrude.

You can be more specific and give her tasks. At the same time, she shouldn't just assume she can leave either. What else can she do if there are seemingly not enough tasks to be "on" until 8 pm? Can she start prepping backpacks and lunches for the enxt day, for instance? Can she straighten up toys? The more specific you are, the better

Anonymous wrote:Give concrete examples of what needs to be done during that time

This, she may feel like she is justhanging out feeling useless between 7-8. Be specific about what you want done.

Good points. Thanks I will try to be more specific.

Anonymous wrote:I will talk to her again.

There are always things to do. Just because I’m reading to 1 kid doesn’t mean she can’t read to another one and help him/her get pj’s on and brush teeth.

Agreed. However, it sounds like you need to give specific tasks, rather than just expecting the AP to see what’s needed. Ime, that’s what’s required with most APs.

I will talk to her again.

There are always things to do. Just because I’m reading to 1 kid doesn’t mean she can’t read to another one and help him/her get pj’s on and brush teeth.

You need to talk to her and say she is on duty till 8PM. If she doesn't think she is needed, she needs to ask how she can help and at that point you can choose to excuse her. But, you need to be clear with her about what she should be doing at what times and back off and let her do it. After dinner, sally needs a bath, brush teeth, pj's and read a book.

Anonymous wrote:Give concrete examples of what needs to be done during that time

This is good advice and I’m not clear on what you even want. Dinner is over if one child is being put down. Are you wanting her to clean the kitchen?

Not sure how she pulls this! I would ask her to come back finish her shift just to make a point !

Give concrete examples of what needs to be done during that time

Tell her that her shift isn’t over until she checks out with you

Let her know that from now on she can only leave once she is dismissed for the evening. My employer says to me “ thank you so much larla, I got it from here. Goodnight.

I usually have my ap work until 8. But literally almost every night she leaves at 7. The idea is to help me with dinner, bedtime, etc with small
Kids but she keeps leaving early (ie when I bring 1 kid up she disappears). My kids are old enough that it is NBD to leave them in a room alone but I’m getting tired of her skipping out early every night bc I like the help with dinner and bedtime. I have talked to her about this and her response is usually like “it looked like everything was under control and there was nothing to do.” It is just so annoying. In 6 years of hosting this is the first time this type of thing has happened consistently. Usually they at least ask if there is anything they can do to help before trying to get off early instead of disappearing.

Any ideas on how to make this better? We are 4 months in.