You are an asshole, pp.

Why don’t you stay home with your child until they are old enough to start school and have adjusted more and the therapy has helped? Save yourself the salary costs of a nanny and be there to deal with the behavioral challenges yourself? Getting temporary nanny is not in your poor child’s best interest. Do what is in your CHILDS best interest. Not your own.

Thank you to the last post. I did take the day to really think this through and you’re absolutely right. I appreciate everyone’s responses. DC did just start OT among other things and is already in private pre school that is working with her. Thanks again. -OP

I think you’re waaaay over reacting. Anyone can lose a kid anytime and anywhere. Sounds like your nannies only mistake was telling you. If you’ve never lost site of your kid then it means you’re not spending enough time with your kids!

You mention tons of cars in the parking lot. How fast are those cars going? Do they realize they’re in a school parking lot and children are present? I’m guessing yes which means they’re going pretty damn slow and also watching for kids which means your kid was not in any danger.

Slow down and think OP. These are not huge safety issues anywhere except your own anxious head.

Look for sn nanny, someone who is familiar with aba. See about getting your dd into OT. Having a live-in sn nanny would provide more consistency for your children, if you have the room, and it may leave the pay at typical nanny rates, rather than sn rates. Look into a part-day preschool for older dd next year, just make sure it’s a preschool that knows she has sn and is on board with helping her/you.

How much are you paying? Sounds like a lot to handle

Anonymous wrote:An example - leaving kid on sidewalk and parking car at school. It’s a tiny lot with 3 spaces And the parking spaces are right across from the sidewalk but still...tons of cars pulling through the lot at drop off. Most recently- lost site of one kid in library for a few minutes. Luckily my kid found an adult right away and said they were lost. I think a lot of the issues come from the older DC being difficult and arguing with our nanny who gets flustered and makes poor decisions. I do agree that winter time is very difficult for any nanny let alone one dealing with a difficult child. I know the answer is get a new nanny but I’m really worried about how my older child will deal with the change and then finding someone who won’t quit on us. I think a special needs nanny might be the answer. -OP

How old are your kids? The parking lot thing is terrible if the kids are young.

Your child sounds incredibly challenging. Hire the next nanny carefully and don’t assume your difficult child will adjust easily to all day daycare or not be asked to leave.

Anonymous wrote:An example - leaving kid on sidewalk and parking car at school. It’s a tiny lot with 3 spaces And the parking spaces are right across from the sidewalk but still...tons of cars pulling through the lot at drop off. Most recently- lost site of one kid in library for a few minutes. Luckily my kid found an adult right away and said they were lost. I think a lot of the issues come from the older DC being difficult and arguing with our nanny who gets flustered and makes poor decisions. I do agree that winter time is very difficult for any nanny let alone one dealing with a difficult child. I know the answer is get a new nanny but I’m really worried about how my older child will deal with the change and then finding someone who won’t quit on us. I think a special needs nanny might be the answer. -OP

ANYONE can "lose" a child at the library, she was honest and told you, that's a plus in my book.

An example - leaving kid on sidewalk and parking car at school. It’s a tiny lot with 3 spaces And the parking spaces are right across from the sidewalk but still...tons of cars pulling through the lot at drop off. Most recently- lost site of one kid in library for a few minutes. Luckily my kid found an adult right away and said they were lost. I think a lot of the issues come from the older DC being difficult and arguing with our nanny who gets flustered and makes poor decisions. I do agree that winter time is very difficult for any nanny let alone one dealing with a difficult child. I know the answer is get a new nanny but I’m really worried about how my older child will deal with the change and then finding someone who won’t quit on us. I think a special needs nanny might be the answer. -OP

Look for a special needs nanny with training and experience dealing with behavioral issues. This will be more expensive, but you will get somebody that can handle your child well and work with you as a team to find the best strategies to help your kid.

Could you be a little more specific OP about how your child’s safety was compromised?

Because it is difficult to give you a proper response unless I can understand the severity of what occurred.
Thanks.

Because honestly - - until this Summer her job will basically suck.
Being stuck inside all day w/even ONE difficult child sounds like a hellish job.

Throw in the Grandparents there to “help” & I see a train wreck.
Or worse.

Define “safety”—is it something minor like letting them climb too high at the playground or something major like not using carseats?

But if you do need to replace her, look for a nanny who specializes in special needs. If you can’t afford an experienced professional with that background, then I would look for a recent grad who studied to work with SN kids or as a therapist. They would at least have some context for the behavior.

You're nuts. Fire her and get a new nanny immediately.

I certainly wouldn’t risk my child’s life for anything or anyone under any circumstance.

I have had a nanny for 3 years who has made some very poor decisions with regards to my kids safety. Today we had another incident and I KNOW it’s time to move on. The issue is one of my kids has behavioral issues and is very difficult. She is getting help for this but we’re in the early stages and have not seen any positive changes yet. My nanny is super patient with DC. I’m worried a replacement nanny will quit on us. How can I go about finding someone who can deal with behavior issues? We are hoping to do full day preschool for both kids next year and not have a nanny anymore so part of me wonders if it’s really worth the transition? We have a grandparent who is offering to Assist our current nanny every afternoon and basically the nanny can’t take the kids anywhere. This would be a temporary solution until camp starts this summer. What would you do??