Anonymous wrote:Is she European? Our au pair is from Europe and she told us in her country people usually stay home whenever they feel sick. I told her here we can’t afford it unfortunately and we both agreed it’s sad. But luckily she hasn’t been sick once.

I am from Europe and yes, we stay home when we're sick.
You have to see a doctor first and they decide how many days off you get.
Let's say you get 5 days off, you won't get paid for the first 3 days.
5 days are given if you got the flu. You'll probably get about 2 days off for something minor.
Some companies don't make you lose the 3 days' pay and trust their employees.

I've had an AP take an afternoon off to go to the dr (I had to take off work to cover her) and then be well enough to go out to dinner with friends.
So, we have a talk about how sick one has to be to not work. In my handbook it says we allow 2 sick days grace before we might have to rearrange the schedule around a sick day (although I've never done it, technically if I have to take off Tuesday I bump that work to the weekend so she might have to cover me if she's been sick too much. -- yes, I realize that people can't control illness which is why I've never really done it, but the idea is to get the AP to be very judicious about taking sick time.

Also give strategies for days she's not feeling good - help her brainstrom where to take the kids that's easier for her to manage them.

Is she European? Our au pair is from Europe and she told us in her country people usually stay home whenever they feel sick. I told her here we can’t afford it unfortunately and we both agreed it’s sad. But luckily she hasn’t been sick once.

If you see she's sick and can cay home, stay home or if she asks. Young kids bring home a lot of colds and viruses and if her body is not used to it, it isn't surprising she catches everything.

Our AP was sick probably 10 days last winter. Some of it was legit but she is one of those types of people who are down for the count with just a minor illness. I was not really sure how to handle it so she ended up getting an absurd amount of sick days and vacation days. In her country, sick days are unlimited and separate from vacation, so it was a shock to her that our jobs worked differently.

Only one of our APs was ever sick and she was sick a lot. Legitimately sick but she also did nothing to help herself. The night after she took a sick day she went out until 3am -- we told her that was unacceptable. Everyone gets sick but this was her job and her job was to get better. She disagreed and we ultimately let her go.

But it was something new for the handbook: we understand people get sick. If that happens we ask that you commit to getting well so no partying until that happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has been sick a lot already and we are still not into the cold months.
To her credit she has only asked for one sick day and it was at a time when she knew I was ok to take off work. I have a very busy fall coming up and am worried she will need days off if she gets sick.

How do you generally handle sick days? I usually just ask her if she is feeling well enough to take care of the girls and cross my fingers.

While I'm not unsympathetic and will make soup and pick up medicine, I am also not someone who ever takes sick days so I find it hard to relate.

Some of us don't have a choice about whether we "take" sick days or not. We are too sick so going in is not an option---something to think about for you regarding the ableist language.

In terms of the AP, as others have said, it is very difficult to fake being sick when living with someone. I have a severely ashtmatic child, so if my AP was super sick with respiratory issues, I would not want her watch my child. If it was something else, I might just say, have the kids watch a movie and hangout with them. I also make sure I have back up because in between my lupus flares, my child's asthma, and work and school, I always need to have a back up and a back up for the back up

I'm the op and you are completely right. It was very unsympathetic of me to write this post the way I did. In my mind, I was referring to minor colds that seem to be popping up often but I recognize that I am completely disregarding people struggling with actual illness. When I say I don't take sick days, I mean I work through minor ailments. I'm lucky enough to not have to go through what many people do. Apologies to anyone I offended.

If your AP has the sniffles of course she works. This is not being sick. I've never had an AP take off because she is sneezing. If this is the case, you have a different issues, unrelated to health.

Again, someone truly sick should not be working.

NP. Depends on the situation. Someone who is constantly sneezing can’t be around an immune-compromised child. And (ime) sometimes the amount of medication I have to take to breathe through allergies, cold AND asthma mean that I’m no longer legal to drive (even though I’m fine to play with kids once the meds kick in). So, if staying home is an option, we’re good. But I can’t drive, and that means no school runs, errands or after school activities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has been sick a lot already and we are still not into the cold months.
To her credit she has only asked for one sick day and it was at a time when she knew I was ok to take off work. I have a very busy fall coming up and am worried she will need days off if she gets sick.

How do you generally handle sick days? I usually just ask her if she is feeling well enough to take care of the girls and cross my fingers.

While I'm not unsympathetic and will make soup and pick up medicine, I am also not someone who ever takes sick days so I find it hard to relate.

Some of us don't have a choice about whether we "take" sick days or not. We are too sick so going in is not an option---something to think about for you regarding the ableist language.

In terms of the AP, as others have said, it is very difficult to fake being sick when living with someone. I have a severely ashtmatic child, so if my AP was super sick with respiratory issues, I would not want her watch my child. If it was something else, I might just say, have the kids watch a movie and hangout with them. I also make sure I have back up because in between my lupus flares, my child's asthma, and work and school, I always need to have a back up and a back up for the back up

I'm the op and you are completely right. It was very unsympathetic of me to write this post the way I did. In my mind, I was referring to minor colds that seem to be popping up often but I recognize that I am completely disregarding people struggling with actual illness. When I say I don't take sick days, I mean I work through minor ailments. I'm lucky enough to not have to go through what many people do. Apologies to anyone I offended.

If your AP has the sniffles of course she works. This is not being sick. I've never had an AP take off because she is sneezing. If this is the case, you have a different issues, unrelated to health.

Again, someone truly sick should not be working.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has been sick a lot already and we are still not into the cold months.
To her credit she has only asked for one sick day and it was at a time when she knew I was ok to take off work. I have a very busy fall coming up and am worried she will need days off if she gets sick.

How do you generally handle sick days? I usually just ask her if she is feeling well enough to take care of the girls and cross my fingers.

While I'm not unsympathetic and will make soup and pick up medicine, I am also not someone who ever takes sick days so I find it hard to relate.

Some of us don't have a choice about whether we "take" sick days or not. We are too sick so going in is not an option---something to think about for you regarding the ableist language.

In terms of the AP, as others have said, it is very difficult to fake being sick when living with someone. I have a severely ashtmatic child, so if my AP was super sick with respiratory issues, I would not want her watch my child. If it was something else, I might just say, have the kids watch a movie and hangout with them. I also make sure I have back up because in between my lupus flares, my child's asthma, and work and school, I always need to have a back up and a back up for the back up

I'm the op and you are completely right. It was very unsympathetic of me to write this post the way I did. In my mind, I was referring to minor colds that seem to be popping up often but I recognize that I am completely disregarding people struggling with actual illness. When I say I don't take sick days, I mean I work through minor ailments. I'm lucky enough to not have to go through what many people do. Apologies to anyone I offended.

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has been sick a lot already and we are still not into the cold months.
To her credit she has only asked for one sick day and it was at a time when she knew I was ok to take off work. I have a very busy fall coming up and am worried she will need days off if she gets sick.

How do you generally handle sick days? I usually just ask her if she is feeling well enough to take care of the girls and cross my fingers.

While I'm not unsympathetic and will make soup and pick up medicine, I am also not someone who ever takes sick days so I find it hard to relate.

Some of us don't have a choice about whether we "take" sick days or not. We are too sick so going in is not an option---something to think about for you regarding the ableist language.

In terms of the AP, as others have said, it is very difficult to fake being sick when living with someone. I have a severely ashtmatic child, so if my AP was super sick with respiratory issues, I would not want her watch my child. If it was something else, I might just say, have the kids watch a movie and hangout with them. I also make sure I have back up because in between my lupus flares, my child's asthma, and work and school, I always need to have a back up and a back up for the back up

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has been sick a lot already and we are still not into the cold months.
To her credit she has only asked for one sick day and it was at a time when she knew I was ok to take off work. I have a very busy fall coming up and am worried she will need days off if she gets sick.

How do you generally handle sick days? I usually just ask her if she is feeling well enough to take care of the girls and cross my fingers.

While I'm not unsympathetic and will make soup and pick up medicine, I am also not someone who ever takes sick days so I find it hard to relate.

I've never had an AP "fake" an illness. I also don't want the kids sick, so I'm fine with our AP staying in her room and getting better. I also hate people like you who goes to work sick. you in turn get everyone else in the office sick. So fuc%ing rude and selfish.

Its cute that you think someone with a cold at the office is getting you sick and not the germs being brought home from school. Most people don't have the luxury to be at home sick with a cold. I don't know where you decided I said the au pair was 'faking'. My question is whether I should be offering her sick days if she doesn't ask for them?

Above Pp again, Theres a difference between a cold where you feel like crap but can watch a 4yo and lay on the couch, versus having a bad case of the flu with an infant to take care of.

She cant really fake it because she lives with you. I mean if shes not well I might just say are you ok with the kids if I put the TV on for them, and just hang out.

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has been sick a lot already and we are still not into the cold months.
To her credit she has only asked for one sick day and it was at a time when she knew I was ok to take off work. I have a very busy fall coming up and am worried she will need days off if she gets sick.

How do you generally handle sick days? I usually just ask her if she is feeling well enough to take care of the girls and cross my fingers.

While I'm not unsympathetic and will make soup and pick up medicine, I am also not someone who ever takes sick days so I find it hard to relate.

I've never had an AP "fake" an illness. I also don't want the kids sick, so I'm fine with our AP staying in her room and getting better. I also hate people like you who goes to work sick. you in turn get everyone else in the office sick. So fuc%ing rude and selfish.

Our au pair has been sick a lot already and we are still not into the cold months.
To her credit she has only asked for one sick day and it was at a time when she knew I was ok to take off work. I have a very busy fall coming up and am worried she will need days off if she gets sick.

How do you generally handle sick days? I usually just ask her if she is feeling well enough to take care of the girls and cross my fingers.

While I'm not unsympathetic and will make soup and pick up medicine, I am also not someone who ever takes sick days so I find it hard to relate.