Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then fire her and shut up. If you really want to make a sacrifice for your child, quit your job and stay home with him, which is what a mother is supposed to do.

Hi, Troll! We’ve missed you lately. Glad to see you’re back attacking women again. Hope your diet is going better - all that extra weight you’re carrying is so bad for your health and mood.

Maybe try gluten free and no artificial dyes, at this point anything is worth a try!

Anonymous wrote:Then fire her and shut up. If you really want to make a sacrifice for your child, quit your job and stay home with him, which is what a mother is supposed to do.

Hi, Troll! We’ve missed you lately. Glad to see you’re back attacking women again. Hope your diet is going better - all that extra weight you’re carrying is so bad for your health and mood.

Then fire her and shut up. If you really want to make a sacrifice for your child, quit your job and stay home with him, which is what a mother is supposed to do.

OP again. I wanted to respond to the poster who said changing nannies is hard kids. That is why I am so disappointed and why I want things to work out!

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. I have allowed her to spend time with her familly and give paid time off for vacation plus sick leave when needed. Thanks to those that confirm folding the clothes is the nanny's job. I find myself doing toddler laundry on the weekends and wondering what I am paying for so much during the week. I have had inner twinges like one of the PPs who said I could get someone at income daycare for less and have money left over to pay for housekeeping and laundry.
We are not wealthy and are sacrificing so our child can have the kind if care we want for him, and though I like the nanny, she has not been doing her job. I am not a micromanager. To the contrary, I have given too much leeway which is how we got into this problem. The daily schedule and routine is something that I would have expected a nanny to develop. But mine hasn't. She's been with us since November, with lots of time off, all paid. When I travel for work, my son goes with me and a family member accompanies. I have given at least 5 weeks paid time off this year, two of which were this summer after her family arrived from out of the country. Thanks to those who responded. I'm really hoping things will get better.

If she had asked, would you have given her some time off while her family visits? Does she have paid vacation time?

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that you are a control freak. She has your permission to take your son to her house. He is meeting new people, socializing with them and probably having a very good time. She is creating memories for him, whereas folding clothes does nothing. I suspect that you are also jealous.

If he got a good nap at home like he should, she could fold the clothes during the nap.

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that you are a control freak. She has your permission to take your son to her house. He is meeting new people, socializing with them and probably having a very good time. She is creating memories for him, whereas folding clothes does nothing. I suspect that you are also jealous.

Nope nope nope. So many nopes.

A nanny should not be taking children to her own home and around her family. When I hire a nanny, I run a background check. I don't run background checks on all her immediate and extended family.

I would rather send my child to an in home daycare that is MUCH cheaper where all the workers have to follow county rules, the space has to be child-proofed, and are monitored than have a nanny who does this.

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that you are a control freak. She has your permission to take your son to her house. He is meeting new people, socializing with them and probably having a very good time. She is creating memories for him, whereas folding clothes does nothing. I suspect that you are also jealous.

PP and nanny here. I disagree completely. A visit to the nanny’s house is for the nanny and not the child. It’s inappropriate and unprofessional. And folding clothes can be positive for the child if he’s old enough to help or young enough to narrate the colors and types of clothing to him. Plus it’s part of a nanny’s job.

Nanny here. You are being completely reasonable. It is one thing for her to occasionally spend time with family members or at her home during working hours in a way that fits into your child’s routine.. But she is trying to live her life as she pleases and have your child tag along with her. He is an afterthought instead of the priority. Missed naps or car naps, being inside with a bunch of adults instead of outside with friends—that is not what you signed up for in hiring a nanny. The laundry could be nitpicking if she is usually on top of tasks, but if she agreed to do a list of things each week and isn’t getting it all done AND isn’t focusing on your child then that is a problem.

How long has she been with you, how old is your son? Is her home close to yours, is it in a safe neighborhood? My employers had no problem with me bringing their kids to my house. There were times I needed to wait for the plumber or electrician and it’s easier to do that during business hours in the week. But ultimately it’s your decision, just let her know.

It seems to me that you are a control freak. She has your permission to take your son to her house. He is meeting new people, socializing with them and probably having a very good time. She is creating memories for him, whereas folding clothes does nothing. I suspect that you are also jealous.

Your nanny should never bring your child to her home. Her day should be about your child and not about her or her family.

But humans forget so let the clothes in the dryer thing go and discuss - but don’t dictate - a daily schedule for your child. There are so many variables in a child’s day that a good nanny has to make changes as the day progresses.

I hope it works out, OP. Changing nannies is hard on kids.

I’m sorry, OP. Sounds like a bad fit. I hope things improve in the next two weeks but start looking for a new nanny just in case.

I really like my nanny, and she and my son seem to really click...I think she loves my son in her own way... but she is doing a bad job. I put her on a schedule and routine last week, and she failed to follow it again today. They had been stopping by her house after playdates and activities off and on, but her family has been visiting from out of the country, and it has turned into my son daily going to her house for lunch and nap, or taking a car nap, or who knows what! I have given a lot (too much) leeway, and she has taken too much advantage. Last Friday, before they headed out to the library, she left my son's clothes in the dryer and didn't ever come back and fold them and put them away. It's a failure to do basic stuff like that, and it just goes on and on. Anyway, I feel sad - like when you have to break up with a cruddy boyfriend, but you just keep hoping he'll come back and say sorry and that he can do better. Waaaahh. I need someone working together with me like partner, and I don't think she's really able to do it. We had a very uncomfortable talk this afternoon and have set a two week improvement window or she'll be let go. Anyone else been there and done that? How did it end?