You don’t say how many children each family has.
How many hours does she work for you now? How many do you want?

I’d talk to the nanny first, explaining that you need more hours and days. If you’re open to it, I’d suggest a Nanny share to see if she’s interested. If nanny is interested, I’d speak with the other family.

If you’re trying to have the nanny leave the other families, I vote do not do it. They’re your neighbors! That will be tremendously uncomfortable for everyone.

Furious^^not curious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand, you both use her on the same two days? What does she do the other 3 days?

Op here: I have her two days, and the other family has her two days. She works for a third family one day a week.

Then she is full time but with three families. You need your own nanny or you can speak with the nanny to see if this is something in which she would be interested and, if so, then you discuss with other families. If I were the nanny and you went behind my back and then presented me with a fair accompli, I would be curious.

The important question is how many hours you need total. If your hours aren’t enough to be full-time, then it’s going to be harder for the nanny to say yes.

Can she do a real share on the other days you need her?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand, you both use her on the same two days? What does she do the other 3 days?

Op here: I have her two days, and the other family has her two days. She works for a third family one day a week.

If you both use 2 separate days you can ask her if she wants a 3rd day with you. You could also ask the other family of they want to do a "share" on one of their days, it would be more money for the Nanny and less money for both of you. I would ask the other family first and if theyre interested then ask the Nanny

Sounds like you aren’t in a “nanny share” but rather share the same nanny.

Yes, you would absolutely be poaching the nanny from your neighbor if you asked the nanny to work hours she’s already committed to the neighbor family. And what would be the nanny’s incentive to cut back her hours with the neighbor family to work for you and risk the job with the neighbor family? If you can’t offer this nanny full time at a higher rate with benefits than find another solution.

I don’t understand, you both use her on the same two days? What does she do the other 3 days?

My neighbors and I have an unintentional nanny share. We each use the same nanny, twice a week, but we did not set it up for this purpose, it just worked out this way.

I LOVE this nanny. She is amazing. But we are finding ourselves in a position where we need more hours and more days of the week. I don't want to poach her from the other family.

What's the best way to handle this? Do I find a new nanny? Or tell this nanny we need more hours and see what she says?