We have rematched two APs this past year for the following reasons:

- Defiance on schedule. Refusing to work evenings/weekends as scheduled, and not showing up or reporting to work at those times. Padding hours to avoid weekend or evening work.

- Leaving child unattended when AP was scheduled to be on duty and supervising. AP was in her room with door closed and did not know where child was in home when we got home.

- Reports from neighbors about AP not supervising kids safely in neighborhood. On phone all the time and not supervising.

- Reckless car use (speeding and reckless driving) both with and without kids in car. Lying about a car accident.

- repeatedly violating curfew even after being on probation, and not showing up to work on time after breaking curfew.

- repeatedly violating handbook guest policies re overnight guests, opposite sex guests, and guests when we are out of town.

- chronic lies about the above. IMO the lie is worse than the mistake/infraction.

- frequently calling out sick for her period, or a cold, or alleged flu, but then going out partying/drinking that same night after DH or I had to take leave

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A desire for Oreos and/or sugary cereals.

Also depends on whether we like the AP or not. We used to buy all the sugary cereals for one that was open about wanting the whole "American" experience and explicitly told us that was one of the things she was excited about.

But the AP who drinks the 1-2 semi-hidden ginger sodas half forgotten in the back of the cabinet because they're reserved for when the kids complain about tummy aches after we've clearly stated we don't buy sodas for the AP... is just being annoying.

Which reminds me of the horror stories I've read here about AP eating up a kid's leftover birthday cake. APs should have some social boundaries and respect for them.

Wow AP eating up a kid's leftover birthday cake is an horror story? it is amazing how things can be so relative.

As a consistent pattern of inconsiderate behavior? Nope. AP has to be a good roommate too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A desire for Oreos and/or sugary cereals.

Also depends on whether we like the AP or not. We used to buy all the sugary cereals for one that was open about wanting the whole "American" experience and explicitly told us that was one of the things she was excited about.

But the AP who drinks the 1-2 semi-hidden ginger sodas half forgotten in the back of the cabinet because they're reserved for when the kids complain about tummy aches after we've clearly stated we don't buy sodas for the AP... is just being annoying.

Which reminds me of the horror stories I've read here about AP eating up a kid's leftover birthday cake. APs should have some social boundaries and respect for them.

Wow AP eating up a kid's leftover birthday cake is an horror story? it is amazing how things can be so relative.

Anonymous wrote:A desire for Oreos and/or sugary cereals.

Also depends on whether we like the AP or not. We used to buy all the sugary cereals for one that was open about wanting the whole "American" experience and explicitly told us that was one of the things she was excited about.

But the AP who drinks the 1-2 semi-hidden ginger sodas half forgotten in the back of the cabinet because they're reserved for when the kids complain about tummy aches after we've clearly stated we don't buy sodas for the AP... is just being annoying.

Which reminds me of the horror stories I've read here about AP eating up a kid's leftover birthday cake. APs should have some social boundaries and respect for them.

Anonymous wrote:A desire for Oreos and/or sugary cereals.

A desire for Oreos and/or sugary cereals.

Poor driving, not keeping kids safe (in the manner that we, the parents, define safety), racism/bigotry, stealing, lying are automatic consdieration for rematch

We stress that AP must have a good relationship with EACH and EVERY child. For example, we will not keep an AP that is "great" with only 1 of our 3 kids. Significant enough issues with 1 of our 3 kids is grounds enough for rematch (I will not see harm come to 1 child because AP is "adequate" or even "good" for the other 2).

We also mention carelessness and repeated mistakes in our handbook. If you didn't know that ceramic knives should not be used to cut frozen chicken and break an $80 knife, ok, that's an annoyance. If it's the third time you've done the same thing, then AP probably just doesn't care about the HF's stuff because hey, it's not theirs and HF has enough money to replace it, right? Nope. We won't stand for that kind of entitled attitude and continual breakage because it's usually a pattern rather than an isolated kitchen issue.

In addition, and this is obvious, but inability to drive in our area. I once interviewed someone in rematch that could drive EXCEPT for highways. Say what? Sure, this could be gotten around in most areas and some HFs restrict highway driving anyway. But to me, it's a sign of a novice driver. Pass.

We have a line in our handbook that while we can tolerate most things and expect mistakes...drug use, smoking, drinking and driving, lying and putting our kids in harm would lead to rematch.

When interviewing AP candidates, one asked me what sorts of things would cause me to want to rematch. I thought it was a great question.

It got me thinking about putting a bullet point in the handbook about potential but probable scenarios (e.g missed or late kid pick ups) in order to be up front about it.

If you've done this before, what do you have on your list?