Anonymous
08/13/2019 13:07
Subject: Re:Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Thank you, PP!! Just added it to our handbook!
Anonymous
08/13/2019 11:39
Subject: Re:Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Anonymous wrote:OP here and thank you all. I just need to make sure that I can share constructively because there is a part of me that would love to vent. And that does no one any good. AP did share yesterday that this is a first time HM.
To the PP: may I ask, did you decide to tell your AP about the car tracker? I am curious how you set that up with her (I just got car tracker for our next AP and was thinking that if I let her know it exists she will be more careful).
It's in our handbook, which we send before matching. I explicitly list examples that it tells us info about car diagnostics (low gas), speeding, hard braking, etc.
We have had 1 incident (ending in a rematch for other childcare related reasons) where we found AP failed to actually read our handbook (and it was NOT a language issue because she was fluent in English). So, we verbally mention it as well.
A paranoid AP who cannot stand the idea of cameras or a tracker would not fit with our family. We have a nonverbal baby, so the ability to spot check what's going on is priceless. No, I do not 100% trust in a foreign AP who just arrived in my home and this country from day 1. But when everything is going fine by the end of the month, I might only spot check a few times a week because I miss my baby rather than trying to spot if AP is on her phone instead of interacting with the kids.
Anonymous
08/13/2019 11:23
Subject: Re:Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
NP here. My opinion on car trackers is that you absolutely need to tell AP that you have it. Same with phone trackers and any house cameras. It is really inappropriate and disrespectful not to do so.
Anonymous
08/13/2019 10:38
Subject: Re:Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
OP here and thank you all. I just need to make sure that I can share constructively because there is a part of me that would love to vent. And that does no one any good. AP did share yesterday that this is a first time HM.
To the PP: may I ask, did you decide to tell your AP about the car tracker? I am curious how you set that up with her (I just got car tracker for our next AP and was thinking that if I let her know it exists she will be more careful).
To the PP: may I ask, did you decide to tell your AP about the car tracker? I am curious how you set that up with her (I just got car tracker for our next AP and was thinking that if I let her know it exists she will be more careful).
Anonymous
08/13/2019 10:15
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Anonymous wrote:Could be a first time HM that didn't realize it was possible or important to talk to previous HFs. Then joined some sort of group (like this one!) and decided better late than never. Please tell her the truth! She could always break the match.
This. Or if she knows to watch out for the late pick ups, she'll know to lay down the law the first time it happens and unequivocally tell AP it's unacceptable.
We threaten AP with paying any school late pick up fees if AP is late without extenuating circumstances (car accident). We also say speeding because you're late is NOT ok (have a car tracker that tells us this info--AP went 60 in a 45mph non-highway zone with crosswalks when she was 15 minutes late recently). Have we ever had to enforce this (late fees)? No. Does it impress upon the AP that it's their responsibility not to be late? Yes, to the point our APs leave somewhat ridiculously early and sit in the car for 10-15 minutes on their phone waiting in the carpool line (which I roll my eyes at, but prefer than 15 minutes late).
Anonymous
08/13/2019 07:58
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Agree that you should talk to her and answer her questions. Try to stay balanced and unemotional - just report the facts. As long as you do that, you aren't "smearing" the AP.
Anonymous
08/13/2019 07:57
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Just be honest, that is all you can do.
My ap did the same thing with the water balloons- those “auto-fill” ones.
I spent a morning picking up plastic, ironically for the aps farewell cookout.
It happens to us all. The 4 year old on a car and glass protocol I would be concerned about as next hf. Just tell them to be aware this ap is not perfect.
My ap did the same thing with the water balloons- those “auto-fill” ones.
I spent a morning picking up plastic, ironically for the aps farewell cookout.
It happens to us all. The 4 year old on a car and glass protocol I would be concerned about as next hf. Just tell them to be aware this ap is not perfect.
Anonymous
08/13/2019 07:10
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Could be a first time HM that didn't realize it was possible or important to talk to previous HFs. Then joined some sort of group (like this one!) and decided better late than never. Please tell her the truth! She could always break the match.
Anonymous
08/13/2019 04:04
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Please be honest
Anonymous
08/12/2019 22:27
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Anonymous wrote:Our AP is extending and has already matched with a family in a fantastic location, with kids the same age as mine but girls (young kids).
New host mom asked me to talk with her by phone. I am not sure why now and not before offering the match.
So, how honest would you be? I could tell her that just last week when broken glass hit the floor, AP picked up the big pieces but left the rest and let the kids run barefoot (until I noticed the glass). I could tell her that she let my youngest go outside unattended and I found him (4 yr old) sitting on top of the car. (Also recently.) Or that she missed school pick ups on multiple occasions. Or that just last week she took the kids outside and joyfully went through a hundred plus water balloons with them and cleaned up none of it, or that generally whatever duties she has saved for the end of her shift that she doesn't get to she walks away from. Good Lord. I feel like none of that is even constructive so I hope she doesn't ask at this point. Should I just keep it to myself and let AP have a fresh start and only answer (maybe) what is asked?
Perhaps the agency told her that you were leaving the program or that you won't be willing to speak with her and she did some research to find you. I would speak with her and share the successes and challenges of the AP. Do it for the kids
Anonymous
08/12/2019 22:22
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Who knows what she’ll even ask.
Anonymous
08/12/2019 21:11
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
I'd also answer anything she asks honestly. This au pair needs honest feedback.
Anonymous
08/12/2019 17:19
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
I would honestly answer any questions she asks. Not your fault she didn't ask earlier!
Anonymous
08/12/2019 17:03
Subject: Our AP's new HM wants to talk - they've already matched
Our AP is extending and has already matched with a family in a fantastic location, with kids the same age as mine but girls (young kids).
New host mom asked me to talk with her by phone. I am not sure why now and not before offering the match.
So, how honest would you be? I could tell her that just last week when broken glass hit the floor, AP picked up the big pieces but left the rest and let the kids run barefoot (until I noticed the glass). I could tell her that she let my youngest go outside unattended and I found him (4 yr old) sitting on top of the car. (Also recently.) Or that she missed school pick ups on multiple occasions. Or that just last week she took the kids outside and joyfully went through a hundred plus water balloons with them and cleaned up none of it, or that generally whatever duties she has saved for the end of her shift that she doesn't get to she walks away from. Good Lord. I feel like none of that is even constructive so I hope she doesn't ask at this point. Should I just keep it to myself and let AP have a fresh start and only answer (maybe) what is asked?
New host mom asked me to talk with her by phone. I am not sure why now and not before offering the match.
So, how honest would you be? I could tell her that just last week when broken glass hit the floor, AP picked up the big pieces but left the rest and let the kids run barefoot (until I noticed the glass). I could tell her that she let my youngest go outside unattended and I found him (4 yr old) sitting on top of the car. (Also recently.) Or that she missed school pick ups on multiple occasions. Or that just last week she took the kids outside and joyfully went through a hundred plus water balloons with them and cleaned up none of it, or that generally whatever duties she has saved for the end of her shift that she doesn't get to she walks away from. Good Lord. I feel like none of that is even constructive so I hope she doesn't ask at this point. Should I just keep it to myself and let AP have a fresh start and only answer (maybe) what is asked?