Our nanny lives in with a private room and bath. (Don't worry, she gets two days off a week and is on a 40 hour/week schedule. Firm.) While on duty she prepares her own breakfast and breakfast for the two children. We have also have a live out housekeeper and she prepares lunch and dinner for the family and for the nanny. On the housekeeper's days off, I do the cooking and this includes lunches and dinners for the nanny whether the nanny is on a day off or not. I only ask that she let me know ahead of time if she'll be around for her meals on her days off so I can plan preparation accordingly. On her days off, she is responsible for her own breakfasts though.

I feel this is fair.

The "board means food" comment is in response to the person who doesn't understand "why you would even provide food or groceries" if she is being provided room and board. They just don't know what room and board means, period.

I don't feel like we have enough information here to determine whether or not your nanny expects you to prepare her meals. Do you feel that this is implied by her behavior (not offering to help out, heading to her room before eating) or is she asking you "What's for dinner?"

This might just be a case of her not expecting anything. She might not like to cook and might be the kind of person who would just eat a sandwich, a bowl of cereal, a frozen meal, etc if left to her own devices. As for cleaning up, she should help clear the table as any other member of the household would. I wouldn't necessarily expect her to be scrubbing pots but if you want her to chip in you could ask her to. She likely feels awkward around dinner time as she is neither a guest nor an employee on the clock.

Anonymous wrote:Room is lodging, board means food. If "room and board" are part of her compensation package, that means you provide her food. If you had some kind of weird contract where she was required to live in your home and no food would be provided, that would not be room and board.

The issue is who prepares the food and who cleans up. OP nanny is using her as a restaurant and expected to be cooked for and served without contributing. If she wants to eat the family cooked meals, as an adult in the home she should contribute to cooking or cleaning up.

when we had a young non-au pair live in nanny, she routinely ate the food I prepared for dinner. She also went into her room at the end of her shift and I would call or knock when dinner was ready. If we weren't home for dinner, she was on her own. If we got carryout or something like that- we got enough for her too.
I'm pretty sure I had a slightly different contract provision where I basically said- we provide food, if we are cooking you are welcome to eat- otherwise fix your own.
She rarely helped with cleanup- although she would take her own dish to the sink.
I was happy with this arrangement, although if I was doing it again I would set a rotation for dinner cleanup to include the live in nanny. I think it is weird to have someone living in your house and not invite them to eat with you. I also liked it b/c she enjoyed the food I made and routinely praised it (as compared to my kids who will say it is yucky or my DH- who is kind of a picky eater.)

RE: Room is lodging, board means food. If "room and board" are part of her compensation package, that means you provide her food. If you had some kind of weird contract where she was required to live in your home and no food would be provided, that would not be room and board.

I think you misread my post. We provide her food. The contract said she is "responsible for preparing/cooking her own meals."

Room is lodging, board means food. If "room and board" are part of her compensation package, that means you provide her food. If you had some kind of weird contract where she was required to live in your home and no food would be provided, that would not be room and board.

My nanny prepares her own food most nights and eats alone. (obviously we pay for all her food).

But if we cook and she eats with us (very rare, but it happens) she always helps clean up - she doesn't do it alone, she helps - just like myself and my DH.

But that's just how we do it - you should talk to your nanny and get a system you all agree upon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not understanding why you would even provide her food and groceries? Isn’t she paid and provided room and board? How is it any different from her living with roommates or renting a room in a house where she would be responsible for feeding herself?

Maybe it’s different for au pairs or an overnight sitter, but heck even adults living at home with parents get their own meals.

What do you think room and board means? Remember, better to be quiet and though to be stupud than to speak (or post) and confirm that you are stupid!

No question is stupid, but the construct of your sentence is less than ideal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not understanding why you would even provide her food and groceries? Isn’t she paid and provided room and board? How is it any different from her living with roommates or renting a room in a house where she would be responsible for feeding herself?

Maybe it’s different for au pairs or an overnight sitter, but heck even adults living at home with parents get their own meals.

What do you think room and board means? Remember, better to be quiet and though to be stupud than to speak (or post) and confirm that you are stupid!

Hilarious considering you don’t even know how to spell! LMAO

Instead of making a fool of yourself, why not simply state that board means you provide groceries?

Anonymous wrote:I’m not understanding why you would even provide her food and groceries? Isn’t she paid and provided room and board? How is it any different from her living with roommates or renting a room in a house where she would be responsible for feeding herself?

Maybe it’s different for au pairs or an overnight sitter, but heck even adults living at home with parents get their own meals.

What do you think room and board means? Remember, better to be quiet and though to be stupud than to speak (or post) and confirm that you are stupid!

In my live-in situation without my own kitchen, there was always prepared food in the fridge for meals(they had a chef during the day). It would never occur to me to think my employers would prepare dinner for me.

You need to clear this up with your nanny.

Its reasonable she contribute to cooking or cleaning up if she's eating as part of the family. If you cook, she can help clean. She can cook during her work hours and then you clean.

I’m not understanding why you would even provide her food and groceries? Isn’t she paid and provided room and board? How is it any different from her living with roommates or renting a room in a house where she would be responsible for feeding herself?

Maybe it’s different for au pairs or an overnight sitter, but heck even adults living at home with parents get their own meals.

Both live in nanny jobs i had, I had dinner with the kids before the parents got home.

In your situation I think its fair to ask what nights she thinks she will be home for dinner ( at the beginning of the week) but have a talk about her helping clean up afterwards too. I dont think she should be doing all the dishes but clearing her own place and helping put plates/cutlery in dishwasher is fair enough.

I am a little curious:
How do families with live-in nannies handle nanny meal preparation? I am not talking about providing food, my question is about who prepares their meals?

Our contracts says "nanny prepares her own meals"(of course we provide the food/ingredients). The main reason for this is we do not eat breakfast and lunch at home and we do not always prepare dinner. In addition, we want our nanny to eat what she wants to eat. Our nanny DOES NOT prepare/cook meals for our kids, she simply heats up prepared meals.

However, our nanny seems to expect us to prepare her dinner and call her downstairs to eat when dinner is ready (she goes to her room when her shift ends). She does not offer to help with dinner preparation or clean up after dinner.

If we prepare dinner we don't mind her having dinner with us at all. However, a part of me feels she should help with clean up. If this a reasonable expectation?

Note: Her workday ends before dinner preparation begins.