Anonymous wrote:I am a first-time host mom. And we ramped up hours slowly over the course of about 3 months and it really did not work well. Rap resents the extra hours in the extra work, and although she's had a really easy gig, she does not seem willing to put in the extra time an attitude has declined. I think it's much easier to start out strong requiring more and then the lighten up later send to go in the direction you're talking about.

I'm sorry but not surprised that didn't work for you. (It's much easier to ease up on the hours than add more.) Before matching, I would suggest providing a typical week schedule - a full one. From afar, the potential AP won't know that there is extra padding of hours in there.

Our next AP will work closer to 35 hours (on a busy week) since our littlest one will be starting school. Although hours will change week-to-week, they will always be within consistent time windows, so she can plan her life.

You want an AP that is grateful for the opportunity, so if she expressed apprehension around a flexible schedule, move on to the next candidate.

Hello, my name is Andrea and I am an Au Pair from Mexico working through the AuPairCare agency looking for a host family in the D.C/ Northern Virginia area. I understand the issue of inconsistent scheduling with an au pair as a host, but I am very flexible and will be very willing to alter my work schedule in accordance with your work or other plans/emergancies. I see that your children have recently started school, which is around the age I have the most experience with watching as an au pair.. If you are interested in scheduling an online interview or phone call, please send me a text message or a call. My number is (571)296-5855.

Anonymous wrote:I have this same schedule and AP is never upset. She gets that she has an easy gig most of the time. We love her.
BUT when she does work the 45 hours I pay her extra. My kids are getting older now and easier so I may stop doing that soon.

We do not pay extra. As far as we are concerned it evens out---some weeks she is working 10-15 hours, and other weeks it is 45.

This is the exact reason we have been hosting for the past nine years. Our first two (of 11 years of hosting) we needed 45 hours during the week, but since our kids were 3 and 5 respectively, we have needed 20 hours one week and 40 the next. We are clear about this in matching and never have a problem or encounter resistance. We do gift cards at Starbucks or other places on those tough weeks but in general, this is just our job and any ap who comes to us needs to get that this is why we host. I don’t think Op has an issue unless she isn’t clear in matching and all along that this is why she has an ap.

Can you do one evening a week where she works late and you have a girls night or run errands? That way when you you change hours you can get rid of that night and she might be appreciative of that.

I am a first-time host mom. And we ramped up hours slowly over the course of about 3 months and it really did not work well. Rap resents the extra hours in the extra work, and although she's had a really easy gig, she does not seem willing to put in the extra time an attitude has declined. I think it's much easier to start out strong requiring more and then the lighten up later send to go in the direction you're talking about.

We always have an unpredictable schedule but I try to keep the number of hours reasonably consistent which usually means over-scheduling hours some weeks so other weeks don’t seem like outliers. We usually use about 35-40 hours/week, and I generally only need our ap after school and into the evenings. It has never been an issue with our au pairs (we’ve hosted 4 successfully for a full year) and we just matched for year 5. I am always extreme explicit about the need for flexibility and make sure the candidates are aware of it. My job necessitates a lot of evening work but since our sos usually don’t start until 2-3pm they don’t mind, plus our kids go to bed at 8 so the au pair can have plenty of downtime even if they are “working” until 10-11pm.

Sometimes I schedule her to work so I can spend one on one time with one of my kids, which is something we all need regularly.

I have this same schedule and AP is never upset. She gets that she has an easy gig most of the time. We love her.
BUT when she does work the 45 hours I pay her extra. My kids are getting older now and easier so I may stop doing that soon.

You would have to screen very carefully for the right AP for your position, and it will be a challenge for both you and the AP to make the necessary adjustments to an inconsistent schedule. We are a similar HF with inconsistent hours, many weeks it's less than 15 hours, lots of vacation weeks, etc, but it's much more difficult to find the right balance with an AP now than when the kids were younger and the hours were longer but consistent.

We have this sort of schedule and always have. It’s why we have au pairs instead of nannies. To be completely honest with you we struggle to match though.

As long as you are upfront in matching and give plenty of notice, this should be fine for the right AP candidate. One of the benefits of this program is flexible scheduling, right? As long as you don’t go over the hours you should be fine.

What’s wrong with scheduling for extra help? I wouldn’t have the variance be so extreme between 15 hours some weeks and 40-45 hours on heavy weeks. It needs to be much closer, like 30 hours and 40-45 hours to avoid the slacker mindset or resentment on the heavy weeks.

I had an au pair for three years before my kids started school and had a great experience with one AP extending and staying a full two years. In those days my APs generally worked the full 45 hours most weeks. We left the program about a year and a half ago and have cobbled together babysitters, aftercare, trading childcare with friends, etc However, I'm considering going back to having an AP. The issue is, I have a job that's very flexible 75% of the time and I frequently pick my kids up from school twice a week and don't generally need before care. Therefore, at least 50% of the time AP would only work about 15 hours a week, including child care as well as child related tasks (i.e. laundry). AP could have a lot of 3 day weekends and extra time off. The issue is that some weeks either in the summer, or when I'm traveling, or having a crazier work week or would be a lot more hours, more like 30-40. DH is a big law partner and generally is only around weekends, although will be available overnight when I need to travel to ensure AP is not going over hours or home alone with the kids overnight. Do people find that APs who generally have an easy schedule are upset when hours ramp up? I'd explain all this up front but worried that when an AP gets used to the fewer hours they will be resentful when they have heavier weeks. If certainly be able to give plenty of advance notice on scheduling, unless we had a sick kid or some type of emergency. I try to spend as much time with the kids as possible in my lighter weeks so, while is certainly use an AP for the occasional date night or to do one on one outings with my individual children, I don't want to be looking to create work for AP on the lighter weeks.