Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am part of a few AP groups, (I am an Au Pair.) And the group are often worldwide and irrespective of agencies. You wouldn't be accepted as a family and even if you knew what was said about you it wouldn't really change the end result would it? If I saw a family sneak into an AP group to try and give their version of event (likely dissing the AP in the process) I would think they are unhinged and the AP likely had a point.

All you can do is talk to the AP you suspect had and/or are having a bad experience with your family and ask them how they feel you could have improved and take the feedback on board. If those are things you can't do or are not willing to change then advertise it upfront to rule out APs who would have a problem with it.

The fact that you don't want to share what was said and don't imply it was unfounded lead me to believe you probably know you have done stuff you weren't supposed to or false advertised your family to you APs and are now dealing with the normal aftermath.

As an experienced AP about to extend I would not match with a family whose AP felt the need to warn others about them. I would be conscious of the fact that there is 3 sides to every story, but I have been with bad families in the past and don't plan on taking a risk.


So find out what is said by talking to the APs, self-reflect, change or don't but be honest about it and don't misrepresent yourself.

One of my former host family who completely misrepresented themselves came back to me after the AP that came after me constantly complained about them (to their face) and we talked about things they could improve. They made changes and I think AP3 had a much better time than us!

I had warn AP2 by the way though remained factual but she was swayed by the location.

Listen to your APs, the way you would want your boss to listen to you regarding you work environment because for APs it is also their housing situation.

Nice story. But I get the sentiment. You didn't have to take it that far though.

I appreciate her input, all of it! And if OP does not, that is part of the problem.

Anonymous wrote:The quickest and most effective way to get employees to stop saying you suck is to stop sucking. Have you tried that?

Right!?! Maybe it’s tome for some self reflection.

Anonymous wrote:I am part of a few AP groups, (I am an Au Pair.) And the group are often worldwide and irrespective of agencies. You wouldn't be accepted as a family and even if you knew what was said about you it wouldn't really change the end result would it? If I saw a family sneak into an AP group to try and give their version of event (likely dissing the AP in the process) I would think they are unhinged and the AP likely had a point.

All you can do is talk to the AP you suspect had and/or are having a bad experience with your family and ask them how they feel you could have improved and take the feedback on board. If those are things you can't do or are not willing to change then advertise it upfront to rule out APs who would have a problem with it.

The fact that you don't want to share what was said and don't imply it was unfounded lead me to believe you probably know you have done stuff you weren't supposed to or false advertised your family to you APs and are now dealing with the normal aftermath.

As an experienced AP about to extend I would not match with a family whose AP felt the need to warn others about them. I would be conscious of the fact that there is 3 sides to every story, but I have been with bad families in the past and don't plan on taking a risk.


So find out what is said by talking to the APs, self-reflect, change or don't but be honest about it and don't misrepresent yourself.

One of my former host family who completely misrepresented themselves came back to me after the AP that came after me constantly complained about them (to their face) and we talked about things they could improve. They made changes and I think AP3 had a much better time than us!

I had warn AP2 by the way though remained factual but she was swayed by the location.

Listen to your APs, the way you would want your boss to listen to you regarding you work environment because for APs it is also their housing situation.

Nice story. But I get the sentiment. You didn't have to take it that far though.

I am part of a few AP groups, (I am an Au Pair.) And the group are often worldwide and irrespective of agencies. You wouldn't be accepted as a family and even if you knew what was said about you it wouldn't really change the end result would it? If I saw a family sneak into an AP group to try and give their version of event (likely dissing the AP in the process) I would think they are unhinged and the AP likely had a point.

All you can do is talk to the AP you suspect had and/or are having a bad experience with your family and ask them how they feel you could have improved and take the feedback on board. If those are things you can't do or are not willing to change then advertise it upfront to rule out APs who would have a problem with it.

The fact that you don't want to share what was said and don't imply it was unfounded lead me to believe you probably know you have done stuff you weren't supposed to or false advertised your family to you APs and are now dealing with the normal aftermath.

As an experienced AP about to extend I would not match with a family whose AP felt the need to warn others about them. I would be conscious of the fact that there is 3 sides to every story, but I have been with bad families in the past and don't plan on taking a risk.


So find out what is said by talking to the APs, self-reflect, change or don't but be honest about it and don't misrepresent yourself.

One of my former host family who completely misrepresented themselves came back to me after the AP that came after me constantly complained about them (to their face) and we talked about things they could improve. They made changes and I think AP3 had a much better time than us!

I had warn AP2 by the way though remained factual but she was swayed by the location.

Listen to your APs, the way you would want your boss to listen to you regarding you work environment because for APs it is also their housing situation.

Anonymous wrote:There are generic AP Facebook groups, agency specific FB groups, nationality specific FB groups, and location specific FB groups. Many of these are secret so you can’t really know what is going on. If you believe a former ap is trashing your family, I suggest you switch nationalities and switch agencies. Start fresh. A German ap coming through Apia is less likely than many to encounter feedback from a Brazilian ap in ccap.

Ours was on the general ccap group. I know for a fact it was nationwide. Populated with all ccap APs from all over the world. Lots of girls not even matched are also on there for Intel during the interview process. If you're getting ghosted or lots and lots of rejections at match this might be why as well.

Its almost like a Yelp for APs. It's also a good way for APs to find rematch families prior to initiating a rematch. We had out last AP leave in March and only need coverage through August and she helped find our current and last AP that wanted to go into rematch. She basically put a post out there telling the APs about our arrangement (from her perspective) and we had a half dozen candidatws that wanted to rematch out of their current situation.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my current au pair is trashing our family online or perhaps a prior au pair described us and said some unflattering things.

How can I get a view of these groups so I know what has been said?

I've been recruiting for an extension year au pair and a few of the candidates have said some things that suggest they are reading criticism of us.

I'd prefer not to go into the details of what they have said.

Suggestions for where to look?

There's a common denominator here....maybe start there.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my current au pair is trashing our family online or perhaps a prior au pair described us and said some unflattering things.

How can I get a view of these groups so I know what has been said?

I've been recruiting for an extension year au pair and a few of the candidates have said some things that suggest they are reading criticism of us.

I'd prefer not to go into the details of what they have said.

Suggestions for where to look?

Closed groups on FB and Instsgram. I had a particularly good relationship with the last AP and yea...families who take advantage and aren't honest about their set up get basically black listed. Makes matching difficult. Or on the other had if you have a good relationship makes matching very easy.

The quickest and most effective way to get employees to stop saying you suck is to stop sucking. Have you tried that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha. This is hilarious. Why don't you ask your au pair what you could do to improve as a host family? And then take their suggestions.

This is a bit harsh, but also true. I know that you don't click with every AP as a family. But since you are suspecting two APs of saying unflattering things about your family, maybe there is some truth to the unflattering things.

Not always...we had an AP who talked candidates out of matching with us because our one child was too energetic...and she steered them towards fmailies with two or three kids because that way they don't have to play with the kids as much..IN a way, I'm glad because I don't want to host an AP who is not interested in actually doing work.

Use your investigative skills. It is EASY to find out anything that you need/want to know about anyone if you ask the right questions and look in the right places.

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha. This is hilarious. Why don't you ask your au pair what you could do to improve as a host family? And then take their suggestions.

This is a bit harsh, but also true. I know that you don't click with every AP as a family. But since you are suspecting two APs of saying unflattering things about your family, maybe there is some truth to the unflattering things.

Ha ha. This is hilarious. Why don't you ask your au pair what you could do to improve as a host family? And then take their suggestions.

There are generic AP Facebook groups, agency specific FB groups, nationality specific FB groups, and location specific FB groups. Many of these are secret so you can’t really know what is going on. If you believe a former ap is trashing your family, I suggest you switch nationalities and switch agencies. Start fresh. A German ap coming through Apia is less likely than many to encounter feedback from a Brazilian ap in ccap.

Facebook groups??

I'm pretty sure my current au pair is trashing our family online or perhaps a prior au pair described us and said some unflattering things.

How can I get a view of these groups so I know what has been said?

I've been recruiting for an extension year au pair and a few of the candidates have said some things that suggest they are reading criticism of us.

I'd prefer not to go into the details of what they have said.

Suggestions for where to look?