OP here. Our au pair has a separate suite, so we’re not ashamed or anything, just thought it was a weird request as it has never ever come up before. She’s entitled to ask, just like we’re entitled to count her asking against her. Another candidate said another family was offering a lot more money - we told here sounds great - every offer has pluses and minuses - you’re 20 and costing us way more than an older au pair to insure, but we offer other incentives.

Anonymous wrote:We do this with finalists. If they are too fixated on their room, the size of our house, and ask about perks too early on it’s a hard pass

This. If it's too early (like first email back to you), then we pass because they're probably comparing. If you've already skyped and think they're a strong candidate to offer a match, then it makes more sense.

But I do agree, it seems weird and a turn off. Concentrate on our family and personalities, or even the area, rather than the size of the bed in the au pair room, etc...

We always offer a home tour via FaceTime or Skype before marching and it never occurred to me not to. Our house isn’t big or fancy but it is cheerful and tidy. I think it would be weird and frankly inconsiderate not to offer!

There's nothing wrong with asking for pictures or for details about accomodation. After all this person will live with you for a year

What you should be careful about is questions about perks.

We include one pic of the house and one of the AP room in our profile. Never had anyone ask for more.

We do this with finalists. If they are too fixated on their room, the size of our house, and ask about perks too early on it’s a hard pass

We do a home tour after matching....we have a photo of our house decorated for holidays in our profile.

We have matched for our next ap but not shown her her room - current ap has trashed it and it needs new everything.

I got this request too from a BP who I was interviewing. Overall, we did not choose him, there were other issues, but I sent him one picture from outside for this request, but counted that request asa “minus” against him.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know - I don’t think I would have had the guts ask. Feels like bad manners - a proxy for how rich are you? We’re very clean - but we have a small four bedroom house. Definitely not 90210.

You're nuts. If you were moving into a new home for a year you wouldn't want to see pictures of the home?

If I wee an AP you'd be a hard pass. Your crazy is showing before we've even passed go.

I think its smart. If I were a live in nanny or au pair I would want to see the house I would be living in. Not to see how rich they are, but to see if its a house I'd be comfortable in.

I don’t know - I don’t think I would have had the guts ask. Feels like bad manners - a proxy for how rich are you? We’re very clean - but we have a small four bedroom house. Definitely not 90210.

I think its reasonable, wouldn't you want to see where you are living to see if its reasonable clean and comfortable?

I’d want to see pics of a house I might be moving into, wouldn’t you?

Have you already picked her or are you still interviewing?

We have a modest NW home. Au Pair asked to see pictures. Is that strange?