Anonymous wrote:Absolutely NO WAY!

If you want an eye opening reality check, take a look at some of the au pair blacklist facebook groups for stories. These are foreign teenagers and 20-somethings who often have no idea what being an au pair is about, and very little if any certifiable childcare experience. Even the APs who claim to be "Infant Qualified" can claim to be if they have had one reliable babysitting job where they learned how to bottle feed and change diapers. And the quality of experience varies greatly and is often over-inflated.

We have had three successful au pairs (for older verbal children), and I would never recommend anyone with an infant to use one. Hire a reliable, experienced, certified nanny or use a daycare facility that is licensed and bonded with qualified and trained staff who back each other up.

I do have a family member who used an AP for infant care, but she was the boss' wife, with a very flexible schedule; so she often worked from home or had au pair travel with her to work so she could nurse in the office, and AP would entertain baby in the office, walk baby around in stroller, etc. Certainly not the 9-5 grind that most of us work. I used to laugh and roll my eyes at those "AP shakes baby to death" urban legend stories you hear occasionally on the news, but now that I have had three AP's I totally understand how that could and would happen.

We had to explain that magnetic toys are not ok for the baby to chew on and that the AP needs to take away damaged toys (like cheap toys that the baby was scraping paint off of or things made of foam that the baby gnawed pieces off of). So, I agree that their experience can be grossly exaggerated and does not really indicate ability.

However, if you find someone who takes direction well and you’re willing to train for everything, I’d advise you to invest in a few cameras too and check in periodically until you’re confident things are going okay.

We had iq APs with both kids. Awesome experience. Look carefully for someone with lots of hours and long days with infants.

Anonymous wrote:Our AP started watching our baby on her own when the baby was 3 months old and I went back to work. She was very qualified with lots of infant experience and was amazing with her. We were very picky about screening candidates. And while I was on maternity leave, I would "test" her out by while I was home. We had three months together while I was on leave so she was being trained by me.

Would do it again in a heartbeat.

On the other hand I had an AP with me during maternity leave and she conveniently decided to go home (literally) the first day I was back on the job, leaving us in rematch chaos while I was trying to go back to work.

Choose very carefully, and know what you are looking for in a caregiver. I knew someone who had a 26 year old AP take care of her infant, and the AP was very dedicated and mature compared to other APs. However, she didn't have the experience of a seasoned nanny, in case your infant has difficulty feeding from a bottle or refuses to sleep in a crib for naptimes/bedtimes. As the PP stated, you would need to factor in months of hands-on training, and hope she extends with you

Our AP started watching our baby on her own when the baby was 3 months old and I went back to work. She was very qualified with lots of infant experience and was amazing with her. We were very picky about screening candidates. And while I was on maternity leave, I would "test" her out by while I was home. We had three months together while I was on leave so she was being trained by me.

Would do it again in a heartbeat.

Yes, with an older au pair with nursing or substantive infant experience. We had a 25 year old who had spent two years of national service working full time in a NICU and pediatrics ward. She was terrific, but we made a point of scheduling classes two days a week so she could meet other people and encouraging her to meet up with friends during the day, e.g., other au pairs with infants.

We started at almost 3 y/o for our youngest (we have 2 children). That is about as early as I would start - non potty trained kids and au pairs are not a good combo.

Non-verbal age would be a show stopper. APs are not professional care givers. Glorified baby sitters - so great for the right age and schedule. Ours were in part time school 4 days a week so it was manageable for APs.

I love the program but there is no way. We have an AP for before/after care but still use daycare to avoid her being home alone all day with a baby.

I love the au pair program but am glad I waited until my youngest was 2 to get an Au Pair. It is difficult to really get to know someone over skype before you move them into your home and trust them with your baby.

Even if they are really nice people I agree that handling a baby all day can be a lot for someone so young.

And keep in mind that you will also have to commit a lot of time to onboarding them and you may not have that energy right now.

I would suggest a nanny for now and switch to an au pair a little further down the road.

If you do decide to go with an au pair, screen very carefully for someone who has spent extensive time with babies - I would suggest someone from a latin country with nieces/ nephews that live with them.

Anonymous wrote:Add me to the list of those who think 8-10 hours a day with an infant is too much for most au pairs to handle solo. If you feel like you have found a good IQ candidate and want to proceed, please be sure to provide support in the form of a daily activity such as a music class, play group etc. One other idea is to join a gym with a nursery so the au pair could take the baby there for an hour of respite each day. Or even better a part time day care situation where for a couple half days a week the AP is off.

+1. I'm sure you could find a qualified AP, and you'll hear stories from people who have successfully had APs for their newborns, but as a longtime HM there's no way I would trust my kid with one.

Add me to the list of those who think 8-10 hours a day with an infant is too much for most au pairs to handle solo. If you feel like you have found a good IQ candidate and want to proceed, please be sure to provide support in the form of a daily activity such as a music class, play group etc. One other idea is to join a gym with a nursery so the au pair could take the baby there for an hour of respite each day. Or even better a part time day care situation where for a couple half days a week the AP is off.

Absolutely NO WAY!

If you want an eye opening reality check, take a look at some of the au pair blacklist facebook groups for stories. These are foreign teenagers and 20-somethings who often have no idea what being an au pair is about, and very little if any certifiable childcare experience. Even the APs who claim to be "Infant Qualified" can claim to be if they have had one reliable babysitting job where they learned how to bottle feed and change diapers. And the quality of experience varies greatly and is often over-inflated.

We have had three successful au pairs (for older verbal children), and I would never recommend anyone with an infant to use one. Hire a reliable, experienced, certified nanny or use a daycare facility that is licensed and bonded with qualified and trained staff who back each other up.

I do have a family member who used an AP for infant care, but she was the boss' wife, with a very flexible schedule; so she often worked from home or had au pair travel with her to work so she could nurse in the office, and AP would entertain baby in the office, walk baby around in stroller, etc. Certainly not the 9-5 grind that most of us work. I used to laugh and roll my eyes at those "AP shakes baby to death" urban legend stories you hear occasionally on the news, but now that I have had three AP's I totally understand how that could and would happen.

Yes. We used an infant qualified au pair - but we specifically looked for older au pairs and extraordinaries. We only looked au pair’s who had worked at third-party daycares, hospitals, or similar - no “ I watched my nieces and nephews.” We started at six months age. Our au pair had way more experience with babies than we did.

No.

Reading posts on this board is making me reevaluate whether we should consider an au pair as an option for full-day care for a young baby (5-6 months old). AP will be alone with the baby while me and DH are at work 4 days per week. I am allowed to telework one day per week.

Parents of infants with AP: Good experiences? What qualities to interview for? Qualities to avoid? Red flag warnings? Am I crazy for even considering this?