Gaps are vacation, rematch (hopefully never!) and sick time (our APs have take 1-2 days sick per year, on average). You might need more time in the summer, too, if you're out of the house more than 9 hours/day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom who has had several au pairs. One thing I will tell you is that each of my 4 au pairs have loved working for a single mom and all said that it was a plus when looking at family profiles. My children are also school-aged. During the week she does the morning routine...supervises breakfast (they get their own toast, fruit, cereal etc) and drops off at school. She picks up at school and makes dinner. she can help with homework if needed. If I have something to do in the evening, she covers that and if not, she's done after dinner and cleaning the kitchen. On weekends if I have a meeting or other conflict she'll babysit and take them to any activities. She's also travels with us, which is a big help. Because your child is school-aged, you will have very few, if any, gaps.

This sounds amazing, specifically the dinner part and cleaning the kitchen. I am curious whether your AP cooks from a menu you created and whether you had to teach him/her. Our AP from Latin America recently attempted beans...just beans...and they were terrible. I should have asked more interview questions about cooking!

It's not part of her work to cook and clean the kitchen after everybody every night.
But it can be done as a shared chore, let's say once or twice a week.
Everybody can help out otherwise. She's not the help and shouldn't be treated as such.

DP but if AP cooks for the kids, AP cleans it up IMO.

Agreed. But it sounds like OP wants AP to cook for her too?

APs are much more flexible than aftercare, as they can work when kids are sick or during school holidays or teacher work days or snow days. Since you are single they can also watch the kids while you go out with friends or on dates at night.

No downsides really, except you will probably spend a lot more money with an au pair than you would with before and after care at school. I think our average cost per year once you add in the stipend, agency fees, car insurance and another car, cell phone, extra food, and all of that is probably around $20,000 - $25,000 a year or so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom who has had several au pairs. One thing I will tell you is that each of my 4 au pairs have loved working for a single mom and all said that it was a plus when looking at family profiles. My children are also school-aged. During the week she does the morning routine...supervises breakfast (they get their own toast, fruit, cereal etc) and drops off at school. She picks up at school and makes dinner. she can help with homework if needed. If I have something to do in the evening, she covers that and if not, she's done after dinner and cleaning the kitchen. On weekends if I have a meeting or other conflict she'll babysit and take them to any activities. She's also travels with us, which is a big help. Because your child is school-aged, you will have very few, if any, gaps.

This sounds amazing, specifically the dinner part and cleaning the kitchen. I am curious whether your AP cooks from a menu you created and whether you had to teach him/her. Our AP from Latin America recently attempted beans...just beans...and they were terrible. I should have asked more interview questions about cooking!

It's not part of her work to cook and clean the kitchen after everybody every night.
But it can be done as a shared chore, let's say once or twice a week.
Everybody can help out otherwise. She's not the help and shouldn't be treated as such.

DP but if AP cooks for the kids, AP cleans it up IMO.

Single mom teacher here who has used 3 APs. First got one when baby turned one. Could not be happier. APs love single moms as no "tense times" in the house with dads/husbands. Plus my APs have loved weighing in on my boyfriends!

I used all 45 M-F hours when DD was baby/ toddler and this is understood well in advance. Just about to say goodbye to 3rd AP (all have extended) and decided to continue to use an AP for split shifts now that DD will be in school full time. Will probably be 6-9am and 3:30-6:30pm plus a Saturday morning or 2 per month. Pretty good at matching with Brazilians so will continue to do so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom who has had several au pairs. One thing I will tell you is that each of my 4 au pairs have loved working for a single mom and all said that it was a plus when looking at family profiles. My children are also school-aged. During the week she does the morning routine...supervises breakfast (they get their own toast, fruit, cereal etc) and drops off at school. She picks up at school and makes dinner. she can help with homework if needed. If I have something to do in the evening, she covers that and if not, she's done after dinner and cleaning the kitchen. On weekends if I have a meeting or other conflict she'll babysit and take them to any activities. She's also travels with us, which is a big help. Because your child is school-aged, you will have very few, if any, gaps.

This sounds amazing, specifically the dinner part and cleaning the kitchen. I am curious whether your AP cooks from a menu you created and whether you had to teach him/her. Our AP from Latin America recently attempted beans...just beans...and they were terrible. I should have asked more interview questions about cooking!

It's not part of her work to cook and clean the kitchen after everybody every night.
But it can be done as a shared chore, let's say once or twice a week.
Everybody can help out otherwise. She's not the help and shouldn't be treated as such.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:APs get two weeks of vacation but otherwise they're there. With a 2nd grader you'd have plenty of hours to get through the week, though in the summer you'd need at least a part-time camp.
But yes if you rematched you could be without care. Though I think you can get a short-timer to fill in -- you'd have to ask your LCC.

Why would you need a part time camp in the summer if you’re paying an au pair? She can schedule some playdates and maybe a week of so or camps.

Depends on your job and hours, but 45 hours isn't a lot when the kiddo doesn't have any scheduled activities. We had to do half day camps at least a few days a week in the summer to avoid hitting the hours ceiling.

+1 -- especially if you want time for yourself, the 45 hours will go fast. And personally we like the kid in camp half-day. A summer with nothing to do is a LONG summer.

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom who has had several au pairs. One thing I will tell you is that each of my 4 au pairs have loved working for a single mom and all said that it was a plus when looking at family profiles. My children are also school-aged. During the week she does the morning routine...supervises breakfast (they get their own toast, fruit, cereal etc) and drops off at school. She picks up at school and makes dinner. she can help with homework if needed. If I have something to do in the evening, she covers that and if not, she's done after dinner and cleaning the kitchen. On weekends if I have a meeting or other conflict she'll babysit and take them to any activities. She's also travels with us, which is a big help. Because your child is school-aged, you will have very few, if any, gaps.

This sounds amazing, specifically the dinner part and cleaning the kitchen. I am curious whether your AP cooks from a menu you created and whether you had to teach him/her. Our AP from Latin America recently attempted beans...just beans...and they were terrible. I should have asked more interview questions about cooking!

Op here. Thank you all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:APs get two weeks of vacation but otherwise they're there. With a 2nd grader you'd have plenty of hours to get through the week, though in the summer you'd need at least a part-time camp.
But yes if you rematched you could be without care. Though I think you can get a short-timer to fill in -- you'd have to ask your LCC.

Why would you need a part time camp in the summer if you’re paying an au pair? She can schedule some playdates and maybe a week of so or camps.

Depends on your job and hours, but 45 hours isn't a lot when the kiddo doesn't have any scheduled activities. We had to do half day camps at least a few days a week in the summer to avoid hitting the hours ceiling.

Anonymous wrote:APs get two weeks of vacation but otherwise they're there. With a 2nd grader you'd have plenty of hours to get through the week, though in the summer you'd need at least a part-time camp.
But yes if you rematched you could be without care. Though I think you can get a short-timer to fill in -- you'd have to ask your LCC.

Why would you need a part time camp in the summer if you’re paying an au pair? She can schedule some playdates and maybe a week of so or camps.

Anonymous wrote:APs get two weeks of vacation but otherwise they're there. With a 2nd grader you'd have plenty of hours to get through the week, though in the summer you'd need at least a part-time camp.
But yes if you rematched you could be without care. Though I think you can get a short-timer to fill in -- you'd have to ask your LCC.

I've always had my au pairs overlap for a week or two when I rematch.

APs get two weeks of vacation but otherwise they're there. With a 2nd grader you'd have plenty of hours to get through the week, though in the summer you'd need at least a part-time camp.
But yes if you rematched you could be without care. Though I think you can get a short-timer to fill in -- you'd have to ask your LCC.

I am a single mom who has had several au pairs. One thing I will tell you is that each of my 4 au pairs have loved working for a single mom and all said that it was a plus when looking at family profiles. My children are also school-aged. During the week she does the morning routine...supervises breakfast (they get their own toast, fruit, cereal etc) and drops off at school. She picks up at school and makes dinner. she can help with homework if needed. If I have something to do in the evening, she covers that and if not, she's done after dinner and cleaning the kitchen. On weekends if I have a meeting or other conflict she'll babysit and take them to any activities. She's also travels with us, which is a big help. Because your child is school-aged, you will have very few, if any, gaps.

I am a single mom of a 2nd grader and work full time. I have been using aftercare/sitters for years and it is doable but exhausting and leaves me with little downtime. I am now in a position where I can afford an au pair, but am wondering if it is the right solution or if I should just get more sitter hours. The problem with sitters has been difficulty finding them and some have been unreliable.

I think an au pair might help give me more flexibility in my work hours and an occasional evening to get in some exercise. But I am worried about gaps in childcare. One thing I love about aftercare is that it is always there and I am not relying on just one person. I can't afford both an au pair and aftercare so if an au pair left me with any gaps I would mostly need to fill them myself.

I know there is a lot more that goes into this decision, but I am looking for others' experience on this issue right now - what gaps do you typically need to fill in when you have an au pair? Is it mostly something that comes up when you need to rematch or find a new au pair, or are there other gaps I am not thinking of? I'm aware of the 45 hour/week limit and would mostly use the au pair for mornings and afterschool activities and care during the week, occasionally in the evening.